Is there any point appealing a private school sixth form refusal?

[Nivvers2001]

DS is currently in year 11 at a fairly academic school and is predicted 7,8s and 9s. He should meet the academic requirements for sixth form entry, however, the head of sixth form told us in February that they will not be offering him a place due to his behaviour. The school is very strict and DS has racked up a number of behaviour points over lateness, uniform, having his phone on him and in one case missing detentions. I am not that worried about DS staying there as he has other sixth form offers and not convinced it's worth 10k a term to stay put, however, DS has lots of friends at school and is happy there so would at least like the option of staying. My question is whether there is any point in appealing the decision given that independent sixth forms can decide who and who they don't admit so it may be pointless even trying. Thoughts?

We've only had a letter in Feb about the decision not to offer him a sixth form place. I have not followed up as I was actually worried about them taking retaliatory action before DS had started his GCSEs and didn't want to rock the boat plus I am not sure there is any point. I also think DS may be better off somewhere more flexible and he has loads of great offers where I am sure he will do well. It's purely because he is settled there and I feel bad moving him plus I think the school has acted unfairly.

It’s probably because they have seen pupils with similar behaviour struggle at A level. A levels are hard and require motivation so they probably think they can see where this going.

He is very motivated. I do wish posters would stop speculating utter nonsense. He is hardworking, bright, motivated etc. He is also talkactive, disorganised and poor at timekeeping. Boths thing can be true. You don't have to be perfectly behaved to be smart and motivated.

Getting detentions hardly ever happens in my DC's independent sixth form, let alone missing them!

I think your DS needs to take the two years to mature and improve his attitude. Putting him into a situation with better behaviour than he can cope with won't really help him.

Honestly at that age you don’t want to paying for a school that whinges about minor stuff. Or if not so minor, a place that isn’t working for them or him. A new start somewhere will help him mature.

That seems harsh for a bunch of misdemeanours. I guess if it were my son, and it was important to him I’d ask him if he wanted me to make the request.

oh I’m sorry, I quoted the original post. I hate it when people do that!

It doesn't happen in sixth form full stop! I know because my eldest is at a state sixth form.

I know and totally agree. It's hard to take it seriously when it's all minor stuff. The posters telling me I should have a word with my son are totally ridiculous. I am not going to bollock him for being a few minutes late or forgetting to do his homework. He faces the consequences at school. I also didn't tell him off for the time he forgot to hand his phone in when he was late in the morning and it was discovered in his bag during a spot check which lead to a serious punishment. We don't treat people like this in the workplace so not sure how schools get away with it.

When I worked at an indie, the head’s mantra was ‘retention is always better than recruitment’. If they would rather offer his place to a new student, his record must be pretty poor. I think the OP is playing down the extent of the behavioural issues here.

Shall we just this post into an attack on a 16 year old and his behaviour?

You’ve nothing to lose by asking them to reconsider.

But if they’re competitive and will have no problem filling the space, then gently, I can see why not allowing a child they consider, rightly or wrongly, to be more disruptive into the 6th form may make them more appealing to other parents, especially as behaviour in state schools becomes more of a topic of conversation (you can see it on threads on here, people discussing behaviour at their child’s school and contemplating moves to private because it’s viewed as stricter on that issue). That may make any appeal less likely to succeed, particularly if the school have found that prospective parents are talking about this.

You must know more than me then. Don't you think they would have excluded him if his behaviour was bad? A private school can do that fairly easily.

Also, why reply to a post if you don't accept the information you have been given? It makes commenting a bit difficult if you decide what's true and what isn't. A nasty, pernicious trait of Mumsnet.

In the current financial climate schools aren't going to refuse students for lateness and having a phone out op, come on, his behaviour is worse than you're letting on isn't it?

Keeping him there to finish his exams saves both him and them from looking like the bad guys. 6th form is a different kettle of fish entirely.

No point appealing, they are private businesses who can choose who they want as customers/students to represent them.

My son had enough disciplinary points (for minor infringements) for non acceptance at sixth form, but the school ignored it and accepted him,he was highly academic and national standard at a sport the school valued. So,i know they can be discretionary when they want.
My sons friend also had similar disciplinary points (minor behavioural infringements) he was refused sixth form admission. This friend had ADHD officially diagnosed and he was on medication which helped his behaviour but he had been feeling some side effects so decided to stop taking the medication and flush them down the toilet! His parents explained to the Head master and they reconsidered.
Its worth trying to appeal if you think you can explain your sons behaviour or you argue he has matured .it worth a try you've got nothing to lose.

This thread is going exactly the way I thought it would it would.

He’ll be in jail before he’s 20 OP. Accept it.

Why would you want him to go somewhere where he will fail to meet their exacting standards and will be consistently told off and fail and get a message that he is bad? You clearly think this is disability related (although might struggle to evidence that having not pursued a diagnosis) and the tone of your response is that you feel they over reacted and he can’t help it. He won’t change and they won’t change so it’s just going to go on like this. Seems a bad idea to me.

This is too much of a sense of entitlement, OP. Your DS is badly behaved and you can't take the fact that a school wants better behaviour.

Don't appeal, but send him to one of the other schools.

My sons independent school would definitely not have backed down, one strike and you were out.

Yes, exactly.

What are his wishes? Would he like to stay?

if so could he find motivation to improve the areas he is struggling with?
if not sixth form won’t be enjoyable and maybe demoralising for him
Also he university can be an even bigger challenge

If he is happy to move maybe a fresh start might help , unfortunately teachers are only human and sometimes students get labelled and that can be very demotivating for them
so sometimes a new school with a different ethos can suit students better

And therein lies the problem. It’s not him they don’t want back there, it’s you minimising his behaviour.

Being on time is not rocket science, it’s the absolute minimum. I have 3 kids with adhd and executive functioning issues. I always insisted they were on time for school and had sanctions at home if they weren’t. Just as there were sanctions in school for “forgetting” homework. How on earth is he going to manage the workplace if he can’t meet deadlines or get there on time?

Do him a favour and expect more!

I work in a place where taking your phone into a prohibited area absolutely would result in a disciplinary.

Why they have said they don’t want him and I would be concerned that he may be picked upon / not supported if you do argue a place for him. It could be quite toxic if they jump hard on him for anything and everything. That wouldn’t be good for him. Let him go somewhere that actually wants him.

And yet the other pupils have been accepted back and he hasn’t…
Minimise his behaviour all you like, but they don’t want him 🤷🏻‍♀️