Is there any point appealing a private school sixth form refusal?

[Nivvers2001]

DS is currently in year 11 at a fairly academic school and is predicted 7,8s and 9s. He should meet the academic requirements for sixth form entry, however, the head of sixth form told us in February that they will not be offering him a place due to his behaviour. The school is very strict and DS has racked up a number of behaviour points over lateness, uniform, having his phone on him and in one case missing detentions. I am not that worried about DS staying there as he has other sixth form offers and not convinced it's worth 10k a term to stay put, however, DS has lots of friends at school and is happy there so would at least like the option of staying. My question is whether there is any point in appealing the decision given that independent sixth forms can decide who and who they don't admit so it may be pointless even trying. Thoughts?

But you have said yourself that’s it not worth £10k per term so why not accept one of the other 5 offers?

I suspect theres a lot more to this than being late a couple of times and occasionally infringing on uniform policy. Sounds like his behaviour has got to the point they don’t want him in their 6th form. How about encouraging him to reflect on how it got to this point?

Yes, I think we probably do as they suggested an ed psych assessment but then made their decision before getting the results which diagnosed him with slow processing so he gets extra time. We didn't go ahead with the ADHD assessment as need to be with a psychiatrist so don't have a formal diagnosis yet. I think we have a fairly strong case for disability discrimination. The question is, do I want him somewhere he is not wanted.

with a parent who minimises his poor behaviour.

Has he got ADHD?If he does you could claim disability discrimination. Make a complaint and threaten to go public.

Schools seem to actively discourage SEN kids to leave as they don’t want the hassle of providing extra support for them r it impacting the leader boards.

Alternatively maybe it isn’t the best setting for him and an alternative 6th form / college might support his needs better.

Yes, that is what I'm thinking. Nothing to lose and they may actually reflect that they've been unfair.

We have accepted other offers but are deciding whether we should appeal, hence the purpose of the post.

Is this in London? None of the highly selective day schools near us seem to have an issue with declining applications at all. His school is co-ed as well which makes it even more popular.

Try to view this from the perspective of the other pupils and parents. I would not want a child like this at my DC's school. I am paying a lot for my child to go to an independent school, and it's not fair if DC's education is being disrupted in this manner.
If I were you, I would have a good long talk with your son about behaviour and consequences.

I can guarantee that his behaviour is worse than you are letting on. Private schools are struggling financially, there is no way they would be turning fees away, unless you are in London or very overly subscribed area? He’s probably extremely disruptive in class and all the teachers have had enough. Sorry to be blunt.

He has never used his phone in class. His behavioural issues are as I described them - uniform (shirt untucked, wrong shoes), forgetting to do homework, often being more than 3 minutes late to a lesson (there is no movement time between lessons so they all struggle with this), talking etc. ALL of his issues fall into this category, there is just a lot of them. It feels unfair as he is bright, kind, works hard, very sporty, loads of friends etc, so I am a bit mystified as to why they arrived at this decision and why we weren't given any warnings. However, it is a very strict school (even the psychologist who did his assessment and knows the school admitted this) and he struggles to be 100% perfect all of the time. If there WAS anything more serious to his behaviour then I'm sure they would have already excluded him.

I can’t help but feel there’s more to the school not wanting him because of a bit of lateness and other very minor infringements… I’d ask for a meeting to discuss. You sound like you’re taking his behaviour very lightly, but it must be quite serious to be asked not to return.

We are in London and all decent independent schools around here ARE heavily oversubscribed. Check out the application stats to a few of them if you don't believe me. VAT makes zero difference to 95% of parents sending their kids to these schools.

I don't get why you WANT him to stay on? You've said that the things he is being punished for " would never be an issue at a state school. He has ADHD which makes those things harder. "

Yes, potentially, if the school are ignoring his ADHD when they set their expectations of him, they are breaking the Equality Act and being unfair, and they shouldn't be withholding a sixth form place based on disability. However why do you want him to struggle on at a private school that fails to meet his needs?

Maybe look at a state sixth form that has a less strict ethos and would be more understanding of him.

Can you please tell me why you are posting and how that answers my question? Perhaps you should have a chat with yourself about making judgey, unhelpful and irrelevant comments. I do not and am not asking for parenting advice. The question is clear. Which part do you not understand?

Yes, that is why I haven't appealed the decision so far but have been mulling over whether we should and whether it's even possible as I don't think there are any rules, apart from the disability discrimination angle. I am definitely not that keen on DS goign there or paying 35k per year for the privilege, however, I understand that he would like it as an option as he is very settled there. Also, I don't think the school has acted fairly.

You are clearly enjoying airing your views and casting judgement here (Little Ms Perfect, you!!!!) but can you actually answer the question? See opening post.

I think approaching less formally might be more successful - I think a formal appeal or accusation of discrimination could lead to a swift and snippy negative outcome. Maybe request a meeting with head of year / pastoral head / head or whomever you feel most appropriate to discuss his infractions in more detail and understand if there’s any way they’d reconsider.

This also may give you an opportunity to get a better feel for whether it’s right pushing or whether he is not wanted (whether this is right or fair or not) and hence might be better for all concerned if he didn’t stay.

I think it’s worth raising your concern in that setting that the ADHD may be the cause and so you’re concerned he may have been unintentionally discriminated against…again might be a more positive outcome raising informally than a formal complaint.

Good luck! (I think schools are very outdated in their views and don’t agree that you are “minimising behaviour” I think having your shirt untucked, being 3mins late etc are minimal infractions and people need to get a grip with their unreasonable expectations of teenagers often driven by nothing more than exerting power.)

WTF?

Tbh if this is the kind of parent /family he's mixing with, OP, I would want him out asap. He'll only be internalising the idea that he's not good enough/ defective in this kind of environment.

I know he has friends there but his success in exams will matter too. If the school is not a good fit for him then he may be better going to a different sixth form.
The school are unlikely to adapt their policies on what is okay and what is not. Eg. Shirts not tucked in.
I would though want more feedback from them as to why/when he has fallen short on standards. And to ask why you were not advised and involved.

So he doesn’t have an actual diagnosis of ADHD then? Why don’t you go down the private route? You don’t need a psychiatrist for a child, a paediatrician as part of a multidisciplinary team can do the assessment.

Or your son may actually reflect that his behaviour has been unfair (on the other pupils whose parents have also spent £££s for their children to be educated there).

@Nivvers2001I'm not sure you're actually open to advice, but just in case -
There is no point in appealing. Your self diagnosis of ADHD is not a protected characteristic so there is no discrimination under the Equality Act 2010.
The school is exercising their right not to admit him to the 6th form. The very rigid behaviour policy doesn't sound a good fit for your DS anyway and he will probably do better somewhere a bit more flexible in their approach.

You mention ‘talking’ last but i wouldn’t minimise that over everything else if it means he is being a bit disruptive in class.

I would say regardless of appealing or not, as there are several different areas where he is falling down, it may not be the best fit for him anyway.

I had 3 school moves where i didn’t already have friends and i was fine. He will make new friends while still being able to keep in touch with his older ones.

Yes but schools would rather keep kids than get new ones in. And everyone was sensitive to the 20% increase for VAT which is why most schools tamed down their own annual fee increase last year. Especially when most have us have 2, 3 or 4 kids in private school.

Did you just take the head of 6th form’s word for it? Have you had official communication from the school regarding your DS leaving? Have you had the letter yet asking you to donate your deposit to the bursary fund? I’m wondering if it was more a threat than a decision.

Also, if they said that in February, why are you only just acting on it now? If I had been told that in February after how much I have spent on my kids education, I would have been in the Head’s office by the following week.