Is poor communication from London private prep schools now standard?

[CommunicationNation]

FWIW, we are located in London. I have reached out to four private prep schools, this includes emails and telephone calls. The communication has been dire, with 3 out of 4 not bothering to contact me back (I contacted them before Easter), and the 1 that did contact me back promised a phone call the following day which never materialised.

These schools aren’t cheap, they are all in the region of £30k+. Is this just standard practice that private schools do not respond or are poor communicators? I have heard great things about these schools and they are well regarded locally, but I feel as though I am harassing them to take my money, when it should be the other way around! There is the other possibility that I could have been blacklisted, though I have no idea why, none of these schools have met me or my DC before.

I think what most of us are saying is DON'T come across as pushy.

You need to sound polite and eager, but very respectful of the fact your fate is entirely in their hands.

How can I not come across as pushy if I keep calling / emailing them though?

I think just a (brief) apology each time: "I feel awful bothering you again, but we are keen about your school and very much waiting to understand what you might be able to offer us."

Just courteous and not aggrieved.

I imagine your emails fell through the cracks during the Easter hols (not ideal but happens) and/or they may not have an answer regarding taster days as IME these wouldn’t be standard for reception since they couldn’t do a taster with their current year group unless there’s a nursery so it would be more of an informal chat or visit to their current nursery, that’s if they have spaces at all. Best bet is just to call them, be friendly and ask about spaces, booking a tour and what their next steps would be.

Could your email be going into their junk mail? Is it from a Hotmail account?

If you are applying so late then the majority of schools just don’t care about you. You are looking for the school that didn’t manage to fill its places during the main round. To everyone else you are irrelevant. So man the phones and search out the school that doesn’t have a full class - they will be interested. The others won’t, whatever you do. You are in a super weak position due to your timing. So stop worrying about whether they are doing their jobs and start worrying about which schools have unfilled places and how you will grab them.

I think it depends on the admissions persons, rather than schools.
A highly selective school always replies my emails, wheras a so-so popular prep school (Pembridge Hall School) never replies at all even I paid the registration fee. In fact, Pembridge Hall School is a mess, blaming everything on a computer glitch.

I didn’t take up a place for my DC at a particular prep school because of their poor communications. Thankfully, DC got a place at another one that was far superior in every sense. As well as being academic, it is wonderfully nurturing. DC seems to be thriving and to-date, while it means a longer ‘commute’, I have no regrets. Follow your instincts. And ignore much of the advice you’ve been given about, what is effectively, grovelling and apologising for daring to expect a response to your communications.
I agree with @Bitzee 's approach.

i agree @PushPoshPish grovelling and being subservient - why?

OP you are paying for a service….its not a freebie - to be honest it shouldn’t matter how much or little you are paying you are absolutely right it is a service not a freebie!

Everyone on Mumsnet will have you believe there are no places etc, etc, maybe for the top 4 - 6 schools perhaps but the rest I doubt it…..especially for Reception….birth rate is falling, fees are extortionate and people are having a re-think and looking at delaying private until later etc.

Give them one more chance and if they continue to be less than proactive you have your answer about the culture of the school, This idea that somewhere is that elite they don’t need to try and you should be grateful is laughable! Basic good manners is all you are asking for.

Also once your DC has developed etc. you may find another school is a better fit for them at 7+ .

Good luck with your search.

These were my thoughts but it seems that is quite normal from what other people have said. I haven’t heard anything from any of the 4 schools today.

I don't live in London and I don't have children in private schools, but even I know you're too late in the game for a 26/27 place now.

Try calling them during school hours, 'hi do you have places for reception?' 'no we're full, waiting list is closed' 'ok thanks, bye'.

I don’t disagree with you. My annoyance comes from the fact they’ve ignored repeated attempts at communication, one did promise a call back the following day which never happened. Two of the schools are rumoured to have been hard hit by VAT and struggling with numbers, this may not be true, but I’d still expect some sort of reply even if it’s just an automated ‘no spaces left for September’.

This is very much dated info. Even the most selective pre-preps and preps in London that traditionally used to have waitlists at birth are now relatively easy to get into. Take it from someone who has kids in the system still in the preprep and prep years. None of it is as competitive as it seems. And OP is right - she is a customer and prompt comms is not a big ask.

Saying that - it is likely the lateness in the cycle and schools busy sorting out various admissions that is causing the delays. Spread your net wider

To be fair it's not that dated: we still have prep aged dc and all their friends knew by the start of nursery where they had places.

We have not done the application process since the VAT came in, and I accept that may have softened demand a little; but I still think the main point stands nonetheless. If you go wading in swinging the fact you are paying fees, you won't get a good reception. Yes, its a lot of money, but everyone there pays them. I know a few families who have adopted this cash-waving approach and it didn't go well.

Better for OP to focus on how keen they are. They want parents who aren't pulling them up before they even have a foot in the door. And that's still my genuine best advice OP.

Unlike before - if you dont get the preprep place at birth - you can always get it later in the day. Goes for Wetherby, Pembridge etx. Bute is lottery. Most North London are selective and need the 4+.

Bute has always been lottery actually.

My DS went to Dulwich prep at the last minute for various reasons. I contacted them in June I think. Might have been early July. Heard nothing. They were on holidays. Subsequently they got back to me mid August and he went to the school. It was outstanding in every respect.

I am yet to hear anything.

Did you ring today?

I haven’t contacted any of them again yet, I thought I’d give them all a week to settle back in after Easter and then retry.

Is emailing, phoning or both the best strategy?

Bearing in mind I haven't done this myself, but I do know someone who works in a private school office and if you called her mid-morning there's a better chance of having a nice conversation rather than languishing at the bottom of a voicemail or email pile. You can just ask for guidance on next steps.

I think emailing is a good step one. No response to your email - then a phone call to follow up, and do mention you have tried emailing. And good advice to call mid morning - more likely to get them to answer if you avoid the busyness of drop off/lunch/pick up. There's likely a decent explanation why they haven't responded, so try not to think the worst of them. But if they aren't receptive to you now, then I would be going elsewhere if you have other options.

Yup - as I said. It is lottery. Point being bad comms is bad comms and worshipping a school due to some perceived high demand is a waste of time. They dont have the demand they used to.

OP - that is bad form. I would suggest you cast your net wider. You havent said which part of London you are in but you may have to consider other options.

Also - any chance your email going to junk?

I’ve sent another round of emails earlier today and will call them tomorrow to follow up. I still haven’t heard anything…