Private school affordability - advice!

[jsemamma]

Hello,

Our DS has done fantastically and gotten an 11+ offer from one of the top London independent schools - we're so proud of him. However we seem to be in the difficult position of earning too much to be able to get a bursary, but in real terms having very limited disposable income, by the time we pay our mortgage and bills (we live in central London so mortgage payments are high).

We're now in the awful position of having to figure out what to do. DS absolutely adored the school, and would love to go to it - he is incredibly clever and very musical so would benefit hugely from everything it has to offer. He does understand though that financially it would be extremely difficult.

I wanted to ask those of you with children in top London independent schools (think fees around £31k per year) - how much disposable income per month do you realistically need to be able to cover the fees? Apart from music, are there extra charges for extracurricular activities like clubs and sports etc, or are these included in the fees?

Our household income is ~£130k gross and we have a fairly hefty mortgage. We also have another DC, and both DCs are currently in a state primary. We have one (old second-hand) car, don't take fancy holidays, and are not into luxuries. I realise every family is different, but just wondering whether we would be stretching ourselves far too much trying to give him this opportunity. Any advice welcome!

Can you afford to do the same for your other DC in a few years time? It sounds like you would be pretty stretched just to pay for one, let alone two? Every school is different in terms of charges for extras - you'll need to look into this. Sport is part of the curriculum, so will be included in the fees, but there will be other costs - uniforms, trips etc.

I don't think you need to great at Maths to figure out that £30k plus fees are unlikely to be affordable on £130k gross. What is your net income? One salary or 2? And what are your plans for the other child?

Sounds like it’s not really affordable especially if you want to give your younger child the same. We did it just for 6th form but that was once we’d paid down mortgage and combined income closer to £200k. And before VAT so more like £24k.

Not affordable at all sorry.

Ask if a bursary or scholarship might be available. Don’t ask, you don’t get. Asking is no harm!

It is hard…. we have school fees for our oldest alone of about 33k a year (including transport etc). Income only slightly higher than yours. And I hate my job, but it pays very well.
We basically cut back on everything else. No car, no “away” holidays, uniform from second hand (very normal at private schools!), clothes shopping minimal in the sale, no meals out etc.
It sucks. For us, we don’t have any other option as he is highly academic, but also has ASD, and can’t cope in our local state schools. Its that, or accepting he won’t get an education.

We did apply, unfortunately they didn't offer us one, hence the dilemma 😢

I guess you need to sit down and do the maths…. There are some extras on top of fees but nothing too crazy. Only you know how much you currently spend to live your lives. Also your income is not enough to put two through private school - £60k per year for two, and that’s only going to increase.

You need to also allow for how much the fees go up each year and will your salaries be going up a similar amount.

I think with a big mortgage it is unaffordable for you. Do you have a decent amount of savings in case of job loss etc?

If you’re absolutely not sure if you can afford it I wouldn’t send him. BIL was in a similar situation a few years back, eventually they ended up having to remove their dc which was devastating for her.

Unless you have another source of income or capital (parents?) or you are in a career with a very steep income climb, you cannot afford it in any sensible way.

You will be penalising your whole family for a nebulous gain for one child. State school plus, as some like to call it (state school, parental help, a bit of tutoring, external sports club membership etc) has worked really well for me, and I could easily afford private.

I was nervous about not sending my children private, but with a bunch of 8s and 9s for one child and the same expected for the other, it has privoa good choice (and we have had some fabulous holidays and experiences together with zero financial stress).

What’s your state alternative like?

I think on £130k (and still having a large mortgage), it’s probably impossible. And that’s before considering your second child.

Don't forget it's not just the fees, it's the uniform, the trips, the extra curricular stuff...

For the fees alone, you need £2,500 a month. Unless he has a scholarship, music fees are expensive (£50 per week, per instrument, not unusual), and can soon add up to a few thousand pounds a year for a musical child. Do the fees include books? We get charged for some - but probably only £50-£100 a year. Trips add up as well - £1000 for a Europe trip is pretty standard. Longer trips are a fair bit more than that. They’re not compulsory though and not everyone goes. Uniform - the initial outlay is the biggest, then you need to buy more as they grow (do they have a second hand shop? Lots use this). Don’t under estimate sports kit. We seem to be forever buying sports shoes (normal trainers, indoor trainers, Astros, rugby boots, cricket shoes etc). Then hockey sticks, cricket bats and pads etc as they grow. There always seems to be something extra added to a bill (DofE registration, music exam fees etc, a day trip here and there); the little amounts can add up.

Then, can you afford all that for a second child?

Also bear in mind that fees have been going up significantly. We looked at a couple of independent schools 5 years ago for Y7 entry. The ones we looked at were £16k and £18k per year. I still have the spreadsheet doing the pros and cons! We've just looked at the same two schools for sixth form and fees are now £27k and £31k respectively, that's without another increase for next year!

Don't do it. I say this as an ex private school child myself. My parents could afford it and both myself and my brother attended (I was at the 'girl's school and him at the boy's school) Honestly, whilst we loved it, I'm not sure it did give us the 'edge' in life. If anything, it made us not want to strive for wealth etc as neither of us were impressed by it and certainly didn't judge people based on it. Not one of my group has sent their children to private. The people I know who've done well financially are those who went to state. Our school was easy to navigate and I think that actually harmed our desire to do well. I made far more contacts at university being honest which I could have used but chose not to.

The worse thing you could do is for him to attend and you can't afford it. He will know, his friends will know. Use the money to fund tutors and extra curricular activities instead. Presuming you live in a decent area, your local secondary school won't be dire? He will still be the clever child in state and honestly, pick a good one, you'll wonder why anyone pays for private other than for bragging rights.

Can you remortgage and free up some equity?

After the school fees for one child you'd have £50k left for mortgage and expenses. Probably doable I would think, but my household is very frugal. Would be difficult for two children fees though.

Don’t do it, save up for private 6th form and offer that to him instead. Uni is really expensive too and you will have to pay for each dc so save for uni as well.

That really doesn’t seem affordable on £130k - what’s the net monthly take home?

I absolutely wouldn’t send him and hope for the best - having to leave after a couple of years would be worse for him.

Ooof
I would say extend your mortgage term or sell and move somewhere smaller and cheaper (3 bed somewhere for 700k) but i dont think it'll fix what's ailing you.

Honestly unless you have good six figure plus savings I dont think you can accept.

What about your second child....?
If he got st Paul's or habs or whatever .he must have got some decent state offers too

Do private 6th form if you must

Just to add, you could apply for a bursary for your second child if they passed the entrance exam as it would be obvious that you couldn't afford both sets of fees under current circumstances. Maybe second might get a scholarship too? Or perhaps first child is near the threshold for a music scholarship (as you mention music) and could qualify for a scholarship in 2 years time at the 13 plus. If this is a school with 31k fees though, I would think the standard would have to be at least a good Grade 8 at the end of year 8 though.

Unfortunately, unless your definition of “hefty mortgage” is a lot less than mine, I don’t think it’s affordable unless you move house.

Our gross income is about 200k and we moved out of London because the combination of mortgage and childcare was too expensive. Even in our new location, still with a large mortgage, we have calculated that private school is unaffordable (almost 20k per year for prep, but we have three children).

It’s not remotely affordable based on your current income.

I earn 200k have no mortgage and don’t live in London and I can just about afford it fairly comfortably without reducing pension contributions and general lifestyle.

How 'hefty' is your mortgage? Can you get somewhere smaller and cheaper and free up some money?

£31k is £2600 before all the extras, so let's call it £3k.

On £130k per year, assuming you both earn equally (£75k each) that's around £9k take home, before pension.

That leaves you about £6k after school fees?
That should on-paper be do-able even if your mortgage is half of that. But fees for the second child probably not possible at the same time.

Obviously I've made a lot of assumptions here about net income/mortgage.

My costs total under £4k each month that includes the things you say you don't do like cars, foreign holidays and eating out. So unless there's a massive drip feed, it's not Impossible if you're willing to adjust how you live/spend.