Disappointed

[shobiddi]

Hey everyone.

I’m a bit sad because my daughter is applied to several consortium schools one of which is Godolphin and we just found one she isn’t invited for an interview.
She has been in tears and shambles and is very disappointed. She has studied very hard and she felt she did well in the Consortium test as well as we have given her extra support with maths. I guess it was her English to let her down since she’s bilingual.
We are waiting to hear from St Pauls next week ( and I know about the relation of if you don’t get into Godolphin and you don’t get into Saint Paul’s and vice versa so not gonna tell her about that) and she has an interview with City and South Hampstead the week after.

after what happened she doesn’t believe she will get into any of the schools. She has been very disheartened and very discouraged and I feel this is affecting her mentally. I am in tears to be honest any words of wisdom and kindness you can give me.

TIA

good idea.. will google that . Unless you have the link for me to show her

I agree.. I’ve faced so many rejections but as a late teen… I just think she’s too young to have a feeling of this.. maybe it’s my maternal instinct to protect her 😞

we are preparing her now…
I sometimes feel school should give a child the opportunity for an interview regardless of their test results because sometimes tests do not show who they are.
The only school approach that actually is working like that is City which is something I liked, but my daughter feels she doesn’t stand a chance as well ( or maybe she feels disappointed now)
The school has prepef them, but again I’ve seen how she has performed an English mock test ( too late) and I’m telling you I was so unimpressed. I’m going to give the school a piece of my mind about that.

Ultimately, not everyone who applies will get a place - the chances are that most girls who apply would probably be good enough to cope with the pace etc, but if there are only 100 places per year, and 600 applicants, a lot of girls will be rejected. Some schools will interview all applicants on the day of the exam, some will use the exam as a first benchmark etc - any way is good as long as it is fair, and even those who interview all will probably weight the test significantly.

Did the school advise on secondary applications?

Yes these schools get over 1000 applicants, but they are the same that apply to all these schools. They only accept 120 ( on average) 10% of which are bursaries.
of course they depend on the test but I think it’s fair to do both interviews and test and it gives a better understanding of who the child is.🙏🏼

What do you mean secondary application?

Marylebone is a good school. There's loads of good state schools in Camden if that's your area.
She's done the tests now, you can't change the past. But please don't allow her to feel like a failure. Explain those schools are really extremely competitive and just to have done the exam is massive. At that age I'd hope she wouldn't be feeling too much pressure academically. She's still very young.

Possibly - but finding the time to do 1000 interviews rather than, say, the top 300 in the test to get down to a final set of 150-200 offers out is a huge ask.

Ultimately, if the test/interview process works for the school to fill its places with suitable girls, then it will have no need to change that process.

Uncooperative at Queens? Not a great attitude

Bilingual shows better language ability usually.. maybe you can get raw scores.

I agree.. this is too much for a 10 year old to comprehend. It’s a heavy emotion.
we get affected by rejection I just don’t want it to be at such a young age 😕

I told her, she’ll get into a school that suits her. I just never realised she had that competitive edge. She never showed it, maybe because she was the top of her class so she thought she can do it.

@shobiddi thank you. Yeah, you sound like you're being sensible. She will need to take a certain amount of rejection later in life as not everyone can be the best at everything. It's about doing the best you can. I wish you and her well x

I know, I told her she needs to do her best in all interviews.
what do you mean raw scores?

This system is not working for me 🫠

Raw scores; In tests, some schools make adjustment for month born/sex/or move pass scores lower if the make was hard.

However, you said even you think English is/was a weak spot, which would mean the school would not find she could keep up?

Actually She is the youngest in her class.

i mean i think it’s her weak spot my husband didn’t, and his English is his stronger language. So I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️

London 11+ private schools is a horrible process - so many high achieving and tutored kids all applying to the same schools.

I am not convinced by “trust the process” and that a rejection means it was the wrong school for your child. I think so much of it is down to luck.

These schools are having to decide between hundreds of kids who are all at a similar level, so their choices based on a few marks’ difference and maybe some minor elements in their school report or extra curriculars.

Ok there will be some kids right at the top who will clearly get through and some right at the bottom who clearly won’t (and their parents probably knew it was a long shot) but in the middle there’s hundreds of kids who might or might not get an offer depending on how they did on that one day and with that specific paper.

This can depend on whether they slept well or badly, felt a bit ill, had a good idea for the creative writing or not, had seen that kind of tricky 5 point maths question before or not.

I have told my daughters this and I hope this means that if they get a rejection they will know it isn’t them being “not good enough” but just that on that day, that paper suited someone else a little better.

It’s a horrible process and doesn’t really select the “right” kids for the “right” school IMHO.

However, to balance this out - I don’t believe there is all that much difference between these schools in the end. Your child’s experience at school is going to depend way more on things like who is in her class and does she like her teachers (and you can’t predict these things), rather than on whether she went to Latymer or Francis Holland.

A wise post @minipie

@shobiddi regarding scores, reccomendations and interviews. You are treading rather competitive waters. Many applicants will have attended prep schools which spend a great deal of time prepping exactly for this event. They will have done mock ISEB’s under test like conditions and be aware of their score, along with CAT4 exams. Then the head/assistant etc knowing the girls will reccomend which schools to apply at and to avoid. Interview tech and mini interviews will have been practiced in school by both staff and an outsourced agency.

Chill out and chill her out. South Hampstead and City are amazing (and very “competitive” academically) and she will probably be offered. In any case if not a school like FHRP can be FANTASTIC. So many happy girls there. My daughter was rejected before interview at Wimbledon and City but got into Godolphin and South H. Just because one doesn’t come off doesn’t mean the others won’t. And we are lucky to have a huge range of lovely girls options I. London even before you get to the (also fine!) state options.

@shobiddi What do you mean secondary application?

did her current school advise you as to which secondaries to apply for? Both private and state. Only completing two of six will limit your chances of getting a back up, you may be allocated a third Radom one if you do not qualify for either of your preference.

Hopefully your dd will get better news of others, try to explain that each one is looking for different strengths and potential to get the best fit, so one’s no may be another’s yes.

I’ve been telling her, that it’s actually “down to luck”.
She’s in the middle that she could have gotten in, but maybe there was a factor that was considered with another applicant to have the same score as her.

I agree horrible process, and I do hope she gets into a school that will make her happy. Honestly, that’s all I care about her happiness but you know seeing her disappointed and crying is what broke my heart.

She has done CAT and she scored very well in it.

we actually told the school where we are applying and they said it’s a good list and recommended we applied to all of them before we apply.

they have been practising for interviews, but I will ask the school to practice more this week for next week. 🙏🏼

We gave them the list of both state and private school that we are applying to and they said it’s a good choice and she will get into one of them.

funny I’ve been telling her just thought that if they said no, it means it will make your decision to choose another school easier. let’s hope she over comes this.

she’s dreading school on Monday 😞

We only applied to one. It's only a couple of hundred yards away so pretty much on the doorstep, and the next nearest would have been a school bus ride away in another town entirely.