were into september not long now frantic label sewing, shoe buying and general getting organised and breath!!

[bodenaddict]

hi ladies here is our new thread

Ooh, Moodlum, your weekend sounds fab.

The whole girly friendship thing is a mystery to me. I have decided to pull my head out of it all for a bit and leave things to run their course without my overanxious involvement. I will continue to arrange playdates in the hope that dd1 will have lots of lovely friends, but I'm not going to worry about any of it unless she's really upset. And basically I think she is fine really. They're quite tough, aren't they, 4 year olds? I suspect we (I?) get overconcerned sometimes because we remember how all this stuff felt when we were 12, when it was Very Intense.

I need to figure out what to do about dd1's birthday... to party or not to party? And on what scale? I wonder if it's too early on to get away with 4 or 5 friends? The friendships seem so fluid at the moment. But I so wanted to avoid having to organise another Big Party.

Can I use some emoticons now please?

Moodlum She looks like she really means it with that hat on no? London sounds like all my dreams. Sigh

Ha - no halloween allowed at our school. Woo Hooo no mad dash to supermarket for last fancy dress item left but only for a 12yo. We have a non uniform day on last day of term.

This pm good.Was on with selling stuff for funds so no tabard for me. Have got my fix from that link though

Fantastic things -->

Oo missed your post paisley apologies, Glad minileaf is a bit better - I hope she gets a few days back too. It's their first break up!

Chiropractor for dd1 and dd2 tomorrow, then I might go to our nearest city for a mooch about some nice shops. Its hour and twenty mins sadly Nanna has asked to have both dd's on Sat night [lives 60 miles away] so might let them go, am just anxious she gets as much sleep as poss.

So tonight I heard a scream and a sob from the loo. I ran inand dh was there with her, holding her. She had done a poo that was soo huge it really really hurt. Seriously, on scale I reckon this would be like a poo as long as your forearm and as wide as a can of beans. She was pale and shaking. Think is she has done one everyday - so I don't know what more I can do to help her. So awful, she said her botty was sore for ages after.

Sorry for the off-topic, although it was a shared worry all those moons ago when we were waiting for term to start. Hasn't it gone quick.

Hello Arnea.

We asked the teacher for names of those dd plays with. SHe came up with 6, dd then added 8 more

Paisley - hope you are all fit and well to enjoy half-term.

Moodlum - that sounds great. I had a day in London a few weeks ago - sometimes it's nice to revisit the time when I had a life....!

Aranea - you are right - I don't remember much about my friendships at primary school and I don't suppose dd will either. I wills til try to get her to be a bit kinder and less blunt (I seem to remember this was a failing of mine - probably still is....).

tree - well done onthe tee - you have Done Your Duty. Have a specially sparkly sticker. We were doing so well on the poo front but not quite so great at the moment - so stressful isn't it and so hard to know exactly how to help.

Dd was very excited at the prospect of her first film tomorrow - until I told her it had no fairies in it She wants a film about a fairy and a squirrel and I sadly explained that there didn't seem to be one just at the moment.

Counting down to the last week before half term.....

r u chilling then in half term golgi

i am planning on mummy time with dd1 and lots of recharging of her batteries

Ha! Chilling would be good.

Have visiting inlaws (although they are not staying with us, we have no room so they've booked a self-catering cottage) they are here for a week so will have to do lots of entertaining, plus more relatives will turn up over the week to see them, I'll probably end up feeding them all.

And then I've got next half-term to plan for (I'm a teacher) - I need to set end of term exams for all my classes and should probably start on the 180 reports I'll need to write before December......

Luckily husband has a few days off so he can do the childcare / in-law entertaining while I get some work done.

looks loke dh is taking dd1 i am very orried she will get 2 tired

Oh, see now it was so easy for me to write all that stuff about not worrying about friendships while everything seemed to be going OK. But is it OK for me to now want to rip the head off the child who made my dd1 sob miserably at pickup time this afternoon? Argh it was so painful to watch. Some mysterious misunderstanding had made her say something unpleasant to my dd, but even when we unravelled the misunderstanding she refused to make friends again. Poor dd1 was crying and crying and saying, 'I'm sorry if I upset you, I didn't mean to upset you, can we be friends again?' And the other little girl was just refusing to even speak to her. Dd1 wanted to give her a hug and hold hands, but she just kept moving away and refusing to speak. It was horrible to see dd1 so sad and just howling with tears rolling down her face.

Oh, but apparently I have to forgive X because she is her very best friend. Though she apparently also makes dd1 upset quite often. Bleugh. I suggested that if I were going to choose a best friend, I might want it to be someone who didn't upset me quite so often, but she wasn't having any of it.

Aranea - hope they do the usual little girl thing of making up tomorrow and being best friends again.....

The boy came home with two stickers today "one for tidying up, and one just for pure goodness" according to himself.

Awww, how lovely to have a purely good little boy!

at the purely good little boy. Lovely sticker to get!

Wibble at your experience Aranea. That is my issue with girls, this stuff. I'm sure [I have no experience and rose tinted glasses] that boys would swop stickers and crack on. YOur poor dd, she sounds lovely and sensitive.

We need to start our own school people!

golgo - bummer about your busy week. You have my sympathy, having to work is pants although mine is totally free. Apart from a photography session we got as a CHristening present. Yay! I'll get total payback when I am back at work and on a night and 2 long days over 5, or something equally as hideous. Urgh what a thought.

Not long till school is out!! Non-uniform day Fri, resisting urge to order fabby new outfit from odd competitive mummy type instinct[£10 Boden vouvher burning hole]. Still though, what will she wear........

3 more days.....

Tree - don't be tempted by the fabby outfit for non-uniform day because they'll probably decide to do painting or making-things-with-clay on that day.

I have my first parents' evening from the parents' side of the desk on Thursday (and then one from the teacher side on Friday!)

Ooo I bet that will be odd golgi!

Oo, we have first parents' evening coming up too. Am quite excited which is pathetic I know, though at the same time I find it hard to imagine I'll hear anything I don't already know. The teacher is so nice and communicative that it would be odd if there were any real surprises.

We've finally had our first reading book home! Dd1 is so pleased and proud . It's great - I so hope she can stay this enthusiastic.

Dd is still refusing to read her school books with me but is fine with the teacher or TA. She will have me read to her endlessly from her own books. I so looked forward to helping her learn to read - apparently she is starting read read words. It's very frustrating and I'm a bit upset about it. I'm going to start helping with the reading in classs but I'm worried that might just make her worse.

Our parents' evening is next half-term. It will be interesting to see how well the teacher knows dd - it must be hard with a big class.

We're all coming down with rotten colds and dd has an ear infection - so we are quite ready for half-term. I have some work-related things this week that combined with this heady cold are making me somewhat irritable and less than a pleasure to be with.

Parent's evening here too at 8-45am on Fri (OK, so that's not evening....)

DD is on a trip to the wildlife park today, they've had a trip nearly every week. It's the Hop-tu-naa disco (halloween) on Thurs, it's all go, I think I need a holiday - all this organising doesn't come naturally. DD is the Duracell bunny, I'm just waiting for her batteries to run out.

We've had reading books home since day one nearly and they are doing Jolly Phonics, which I'm pleased about as it's a fab scheme. But mostly they play .

Acinonyx - Maybe your DD just wants to read her more interesting home books with you, as let's face it, reception reading books aren't the most exciting.

Her own books certainly are a lot more interesting but they are not the kind of books she can learn to read from.

Dd is also on duracells. I asked her teacher yesterday if she is getting tired in the afternoons as she doesn't seem to sleep as much as other children - but apparently not.

Acinonyx, that sounds very frustrating - but I expect that one day when she is feeling all confident and proud of her reading she will volunteer to read something to you. Anyway, reading her books to her is helping her learn to read. And it's the fun bit of it!

Ixia - a trip every week?? Good grief, they're energetic. We've no sniff of a trip anywhere yet, but I can't say I blame them!

Paisley - Hope lo is recovering from chicken pox, will she be making it back to school before the hols?

Aranea - That sounds an awful situation with your dd, girls can be so mean at times - none of ours obviously! Makes you just long for the simplicity of boys where they just run around & make friends again within minutes.

Acinonyx - my dd isn't keen on reading school books with me, she much prefers her own. Suppose it's because she reads/sees school books at school & just wants her own favourites for home. Makes it a bit tricky though.

tree - I'm dreading non uniform days, dd will be spending ages choosing what to wear & then be disappointed when she gets to school & will be wishing she chose something else, I can see it now & she's only 4, it can only get worse from here!

My dd was off school on fri, she seemed unwell on thurs & looked awful but went as it was harvest festival. When I picked her up at home time she looked awful, promptly burst into tears saying she felt so poorly & couldn't walk home. On fri she seemed loads better but by that point had decided she could have a sickie (had to keep telling her she had a v. high temp though!) She's had an iffy tummy for days now & today wasn't herself but have sent her in. Think she may have a little bug & then the tiredness is making everything worse.
I was hoping for a quiet half term but we seem to be busy with parties & playdates. Hard to know what to do for the best, want her to see her friends who don't go to school but at this rate will end up even more exhausted after half term!
We had our parents evening on mon, was reassuring to know everything is going well. She's still very shy with the teachers but is very popular in her class & has loads of older girls who think she's cute & want to look after her at playtimes.

We've got non-uniform day here as well on friday...although they have to wear something pink or red apparently!

We've been getting reading books home for about the last 4 weeks and DS has been doing really well with them and his key words that he has got to learn until yesterday he came home with a completely different book (out of a different set I mean) which is really really hard. Its called "Hide and Seek" and its about a caterpillar playing hide and seek with his friends so it goes...One curly caterpillar,two big beetles,three little ladybirds etc etc and then the last page says "lots of laughing friends". Is it me or does that seem really difficult? He sound out words etc and knows loads of keywords (he has a good memory unlike me!!) but you can't even really sound those words out at all? The teacher did say she was going to get some different books for him but didn't think they'd be that difficult!

Our parents evening isn't until the end of November and Im quite excited too!

He got into trouble yesterday at school and was very upset last night. Apparently a little girl in Y2 had called him a "stupid idiot" so when he went in he told the teacher that she had said something unkind to him so they got this little girl down (which I think is totally over the top) and asked her about it so she starts crying and saying she didn't say anything to him...DS then gets all upset and says it doesn't matter he made it all up so gets very very told off for telling lies. Teacher pulls me to one side at pick up and explains all this and basically says we don't tolerate liars etc and that he has really upset this little girl and caused a lot of trouble.

I get DS home and really tell him off and then he says that she did say it and he only said she didn't because he didn't want to get into any trouble for playing with the older children and he didn't want to get her into trouble he only wanted to tell his teacher that it wasn't a kind thing to say.

Im not one of these mums who think their child does nothing wrong cause I know he is no angel but I find it incredibly difficult to believe that he is being that specific...he knew the little girls name and where she was when she said it without it being the truth. I just can't believe that he would say things like that if it wasn't true cause he's got nothing to gain from it. Children say things like that all the time and it never bothers him...in fact last week a little boy was really nasty to him before school in front of me and DS just laughed and said that wasn't kind and ran off...so why would he be that bothered now. All I could get out of him this morning was that the other boys were just being silly saying things but this was a big girl and she should know not to be unkind.

I mentioned it to teacher this morning and all she said was the little girl was distraught saying she didn't say it (and apparently she is a lovely little girl who wouldn't dream of being unkind!!)and then DS pipes up oh it doesn't matter I was making it up so they had to believe DS. I sort of feel he was backed into a corner and said the first thing that came to his head to get out of it. Am so glad its half term next week!!

norfolk lass - Awfull for you. Big hugs!! I have to say if I were you I would tell the teacher that you feel your son is not being really listened too. That you know him well, agree there is a chance he made it up, but there also is a chance he is saying he made it up to avoid conflict. Tell them you understand they are in a no win situation as there are no witnesses, but that you do not appreciate the assumption they are making, that it is all one sided and all his fault.

I think it is vital there is openess and no blame culture and taking sides and talking about how upset another party is or was is unhelpfull. You actually do not need to hear how upset the other girl was, so you? Unless they are trying to make you feel guilty? Or do they have further issues they are pondering on, but haven't shared with you? Hmmm. I wouldn't be happy I have to say.

But then I am an upity maddam

No reading books or any evidence of anything but colouring here. AH well, plenty of time

Thank you tree...I thought it was just me being a bit pfb but I honestly don't think I am. I honestly think he was scared that it all got as far as it did cause from what I can understand all he wanted to do was tell his teacher that what she said wasn't very nice-but he didn't want her to get into trouble over it.

I don't think there is anything else going on-before all this happened the teacher and TA said last week that he was a lovely little boy who is a pleasure to have in the class. He is quite bossy and likes his own way but isn't a naughty or malicious child by any means. All she kept saying is that this other little girl was upset and that she is a lovely little girl who wouldn't dream of being unkind to someone...well she must be perfect then cause all children can be unkind at some point and tbh if I was nearly 7 and had a 4 year old Reception boy trying to talk to me I could probably be unkind as well.

Ahh well you see we have reading books but no colouring! He had to do some colouring for his homework (had to finish a colur/shape pattern ie square,circle,triangle all in different colours!) and it was like I had asked him to do something extremely difficult! He has zero patience for colouring at all but will happily look at books/words etc for hours...its funny how they are all different isn't it!