were into september not long now frantic label sewing, shoe buying and general getting organised and breath!!

[bodenaddict]

hi ladies here is our new thread

DD didn't want to go i today. I felt bad leaving her with the TA. It's perhaps dawning on her just how much time she has to spend at school now.
Oh, and it's started.......native American costume for next week, inc homemade head dress (you'd think that'd be something fun to make in the class together).

Roundabout, our first choice school (that we didn't get) had a nice system at playtime. Some of the older children were designated as red hats (and wear red caps). And dotted around the playground are benches, or waiting stops, where you wait if you want to join in with something. The red hats pick children up from the stops and organise games/play with them. I thought it was a lovely idea, and the older children love their important job.
I worry about my DD being lonely too - she wants to have friends but is shy and can come accross as being quite aloof.

Thanks moodlum, dd's school is very big on personal development & bringing them out of themselves so I did expect a better response - although dp is pretty useless at relaying info so he may not have got what they right anyway! Hopefully she'll do better today.

Paisley - Sorry your dd's not happy either. It's dawning on my dd how much time she'll spend at school, she's a nightmare about going to be even though she's knackered as she has so much at home she wants to do. That red at thing sounds a great idea, shame all schools don't have anything like that. My dd comes across as grumpy & it's just because she's so shy, if there was another unhappy lo she's be in her element looking after them,problem is everyone elase seems happy & no one wants to look after her - how typical is that!

DS was exactly the same this morning. Hysterical. Lying on the floor of the bathroom saying how he didn't understand why he had to spend so much time at school and why he couldn't just be at home with mummy. In the end he decided to come to school, but what made me sad was that I think he did it so as not to upset me, rather than because he actually wanted to.

Anyway. We got there eventually after I said that even if he refused to get dressed he would still have to go in just his pants. One of the TA's phoned me to say he'd had a lovely morning and a good lunch, which I'm so grateful for her doing. I think they think I'm an emotional car crash but hey ho.

Lol at the emotional car crash moodlum...I think DS's school think that of me as well especially after I complained to the office this morning that his book bag split after he'd used it once yesterday and that DS got upset cause he thought they'd think he'd broken it!
Roundabout & paisley-really sorry that your having a hard time too. I think the playground thing can be really scary for them. DS's school have a separate playground for the reception classes so they can see the others but are only with the other reception ones which I think has really helped him at playtime if not I think I would be saying exactly the same thing.
Well yesterday went really well and he had a lovely day...apparently they had to paint pictures of their friends and vice versa-should be interesting to see cause DS is no picasso! He said this morning on the walk to school"mummy I do so love my teacher & I the only reason I was so sad was because I miss you but I know you'll come to get me so I'll try to be happy at school". Honestly I was sniffing all the way to school!
He went in again fine this morning so fingers/toes crossed we may have turned a corner...although they've got pe for the first time tomorrow so can see that causing problems lol! He can dress/undress fine but can't do socks at all-I presume someone will help them??

Can i join in!!
My DD is in her 2nd week in reception and since Fri we have had problems. We had problems in nursery in the same school aswell.
I am a terrible emotional wreck and i'm sure i should be harder with my DD but i just can't be.
I'm feeling really upset with my school choice now, maybe things would be different in a smaller classroom/school?

Hoodlum - sorry you're having a few probs too, really nice that the ta rang to say all was well, bet that's reassuring.
norfolk - bless your lo not wanting to upset you. My dd is worried about changing for pe too, they had it yesterday but didn't get changed but are next week. My dd is quite good at getting herself dressed apart from polo shirts, have told her the teachers will help & everyone else will prob need help too but still she's worrying about it.
debs - hi sounds like we're in the same boat! I've been wondering about my school choice but stupidly really as I know there's nothing wrong with the school although the teachers attitude could be more helpful! Think we're probably torturing ourselves, my dd would prob be the same wherever she was, she found moving rooms in nursery very traumatic but once she'd got over it she was fine. Think we'd try & do anything to ease their anguish. Hope your dd has had a better day today.

oh roundabout you must be having a hard time and i am not suprised you are emotional after a miscarriage i cant imagine what that must have been like. i am sure that dd will find it easier the more she is there.
my dd1 starts in the morning

Good luck mini-bodenaddict!!

Its great the TA rang you Hoodlum. Thats really good, it puts over the message that they see and hear your ds and you. Thats good.

Roundabout - thats bad. I find that response really unhelpful and a bit surprising really. I thought generally the idea of child centred schooling and compassion towards children and parents was the done thing. I'd go myself once I felt able to without chin wobbles, and make your points again. If the response is as dp reports - I'd be saying something along the lines of respecting individuals, their personalities and rates of development and change. Tell them this is not how you parent and don't think it will help her in the long run.

I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. You are in a stressfull time, you must be tired out.

Like my dd, who was asleep for 7.15, so she is getting 12.5 hours a night! And is stil pale and knackered.
She had a less good day, she had school dinners but it wasn't what the menu said so she ate half a bun and also had an issue with copysrite ownership over a picture she helped a lovely little boy woth, who she gets on with great.SHe cried and cried which is a sure sign of beign frazzled and tired in my girl. She came out with the wrong bag and her coat upside down too. SO yes, finding all the new info tough to asimilate.

Norfolk - bless his sensitive soul. DD says things similar and it makes my chin start the wobble!

I have decided personally that it is inevitable I will be 'one of those mothers' so I figure I may as well get on wih it and not give a flying hoot what the school think of me. I only care about dd anyway
At her playschool I trusted the staff completeley, so I accepted lots of things that I might have been a bit unsure of. I may be like that at school too, but I feel they have to earn our trust by showing compassion, understanding and direction, you know?

As regards our broken cars, the wind has been biting, so grandpa is driving us everywhere. It has been glorious! We have gym tomorrow night which will be a)nightmare to get to and b)might finish her off in terms of energy!

Welcome Debs!

Oh roundabout. I am sorry to hear about the miscarriage. I think it can knock you more than you realise when you have an early miscarriage.

Your dd's teacher doesn't sound very helpful. Maybe invite one of the other little girls over for a playdate?

Serious grumping in the evenings here - I think it's the strain of being good all day.
And that's just me!

Well done comicdelivery and good luck mini-Boden!!!

Golgi - I soooooo know what you mean!!!

Our news is...

Yeeee-haaaarrr

• dd and two of her new class mates went on a pony ride around the park after school today!

Great fun had by all!

The French goutér is a great excuse for making friends. We stop in the park by dd's school for a snack and drink and so do lots of other Mums and children. All the children have a bite and there seems to be an expectation that they taste each other's snack and then have a play together. There are boat swings and a merry-go-round, a sand pit and big conker trees as well as a playpark and today for the first time ponies to choose from too. While us Mums always choose nattering as our activity .

roundabout - I really do hope things start to look up for you soon. Being in your shoes must be simply awful right now but it is not always going to be like this.

dd1 started this morning all excited ran in and all good.

tea . In fact, have another . That just sounds so cosmopolitan and glam! Am really glad dd is happy.

How you doing roundabout?

Good luck miniBoden!

Not so good here.
The school got the menu wrong so lunches aren't as expected. DD opted in on the days she likes and out on the others, so she is a bit confused and not trusting them as much. I have no idea what to do about today, she is expecting one thing and going to get another. She will hate that. SHould I ring school and ask them to tell her the choice. If she hates the choice do I walk the 5 miles round trip with a post vaccine baby with a pack up? She has a cold and really needs food so I will do it cheerfully. But is this the thought of a bonkers mother of a pfb??? Yes.
Do I care? WHat do you think I should do people?

SHe cries, sobbed and wailed when I left too - first time ever ever ever. ARse.

Its gymanstics tonight too, we might really have to miss it, its about 2 miles so will be a rusha nd she will be tired. We missed last week though and I have to admit I'm a bit about loosing the fee's you know?
I should keep her out shoulsn't I. A 2 mile walk home at 5:15 is not good when you have had no lunch, a headcold and have just started school

Slap me ladies - I am mithering about her!!

Phone the school, find out what it is. If its something she hates I'd take it in. Well, if you think your baby will sleep in the pram on the way...

And skip gymnastics. Ds1 collapsed on the sofa last night after school and stayed there for 2 hours, whimpering occasionally. Ate half his tea and went to bed an hour early. And it was only Wednesday! He went off happily enough this morning though.

I abandoned the idea of doing school dinners - he won't eat if he doesn't like the look of it and he needs to eat. And he isn't my pfb either. He is my psb!

Oh newspaper poor you. I'd deffo take in lunch - it will mean so much to her (as long as you are clear that you won't do it every day ). And I don't think anyone will think you're silly and if they do, they're meanies. Its very easy for people at school to be blase about how easy it is in the first term, because they see it all the time - but if its your child, you do what's right for them, end of!

And, sorry, yes, deffo skip gym. Sorry she went off crying - they are so so tired at the moment aren't they.

DS was ok this morning, dh took him in and he was pretty chipper apparently. He's having a little friend over after school, which will no doubt be a disaster because he will be tired and ratty.

Hope everyone else has done OK this morning.

I love you both.
Oh the refief of not being a nutter

O having company as a nutter anyway

Emailing gym now..........

Id take lunch in as well. DS had school dinner on the first day and hated it and ate absolutely nothing and there is no way they can last all day with no food.

Well our days started well with DS all happy to be going to school-they've got pe today for the first time and he had a bit of a wobble when talking about it and then I realised I hadn't explained what pe exactly was...oops bad mummy! As soon as he realised it involved running and jumping around he was even more excited about going!

Got half way there walking and then realised I hadn't got his water bottle so went all the way back home to get it and then realised we weren't going to get back in time so took the car...came out of school after dropping him off and carried on walking down the road completely forgetting I had the car with me. I got all the way into town before realising so had to walk all the way back...have definitely had my exercise for the day!
Am taking DS and his friend to soft play tonight after school with her mum...I just feel like I haven't done anything with him apart from taking him to and from school for 2 weeks.

Morning everyone
Thank you thank you thank you ladies for all your support, it means a lot xx

Boden - I'm so pleased your dd went in happy, you must be so relieved.

Newspaper - Oh dear, I think the trust thing is crucial in the early days, my dd likes to know where she stands. A packed lunch would be nice, make sure she knows it's a one off though, if your lo is anything like mine she can be quite manipulative at times! Def skip gym as it's such a long day for them.

We're having big big lunch probs, I wanted dd to have school dinners but as she was worrying I'd said she could have packed lunch til the weather got colder but she's have to eat it. First day fine except she took too long, all her classmates went out to play & then she got lost. Since then she hardly eats anything & just cries & cries. Yesterday she ate one bite of a cream cracker & a few gulps of apple juice. The staff try to get her to eat some more but she just cries some more, eventually they let her go outside. Today I tried bribing her, said if she ate her packed lunch (some not all) she could have a treat when she came home. She told me she doesn't get hungry at school & it you cry & say you're tired & want your mum they let you go outside. Am beginning to wonder if she thinks she doesn't eatshe'll be allowed home for dinners. She did seem to mix a bit more yesterday, they seem to be doing more structured stuff in the classroom now so she's happier when she's in class. Except for snacktime when she - yes you guessed it cries. Cries because the milk's too thick & it's not like milk at home. She did choose an apple at snack time yesterday but they have to wait til everyone has chosen something before they start to eat. Apparently by then she wasn't hungry anymore so she didn't eat any of it. This is a child who loved staying for lunch at nursery & had seconds & often thirds.
My dd won't go to sleep til 8/9, she stays on a high after coming home from school, think she's trying to cram in as much as she can in the small amount of time she has at home. Then I think is half asleep at school & so even more teary. She has a cold too & was trying to persuade me it was bad enough to stay at home

Bit of a turn around for ds who is now happy with new friends and seems to be enjoying learning to read very much.

But I did um cheat a bit and let him take a small toy to show his friends and they all crowd around him. Now to do it without the prop!

I sent DD in this morning with her aunty and had a call from aunty (not school) to say everything was fine.

Fingers crossed we may be turning a corner, might have to get Aunty to take her in everyday!!

I must say though, i really do not think much of the school since we started and am in two minds as to whether we made the right decision. it is very hard trying to push her to school when i'm not 100% sure of it myself.

Fingers crossed for tommorow.

Much sympathy to those whose dc are distressed going into school. I have experienced this in the past with nursery and know how upsetting it is and also how hard it can be to know what to do for the best.

There was a muddle with out menus too but we all have new ones now so we know what's what. DD is having school dinners every day (couldn't cope with the organization otherwise!) but still likes to know what it will be. We play a game at bedtime where we invent rediculous 3-item meals for the next day e.g. sock pie with mashed shoes and mud ice cream. Do you think your dd might enjoy that - making a joke out of the dinner fiasco?

Dd actually went a whole day (to 6 pm at CMs) with no wee accidents yesterday so she got a big lolly from the ice cream van. Let's see if she can keep that going.

I am really quite astonished at how dd has taken to school after all my worries about her being so shy etc. It is a great relief although I'm sure there will be hiccups to come. She did say some boys were mean to her and tried to put her 'in the prison' which I think was under the climbing frame. She said one of the boys hit her on the face and I asked her if it was an accident or on purpose (also asked his name so I can mentally blacklist him for life ) but dd didn't know - got the impression it was not. I said that play can get rough some times and accidents happen but if any child hits her on purpose she should tell the teacher.

She's definitley a bit more tired and I'm thinking of pulling bedtime forward to 7.30 (in order to get her to sleep by 8).

Thats great Acinonyx, she's done really well on the wee accidents Sometimes shy children seem to do really well, I think, they don't worry so much about being anything. Like being a performer, or the one who leads everyone and knows where everything is and all that.They just bide their time nad watch and join in when they feel ready. Maybe she is wise not shy

Rang school - got the head which floored me a bit SHe said she would see what the dinner is and let dd know, I think it is chicken and mash looking at the menu so I think I will let her try it and see. Even if she has a spoon of mash and a yogurt then at least she has something. She went off with a huge bowl of porridge, and fruit puree and some yogurt in her this am so thats also a positive.

Just the poo trouble now.....

Will miss gym and concentrate on getting 'him' shifted. It's always a him. No idea why.

I think the head thought maybe I had triggered her a bit by helping afriend of ours who was having lip wobbles and also by staying to long. I think she may be right - I wanted to talk to teacher about lunch and poo so I had no choice really but hopefully tonight I can give them fair warning that dd's meds for poo might mean several loo dashes! Then I don't have to hang about tomorow nad dd can get in and get on before she has time to think about it.

I will certainly try that game Acinonyx, thats lovely.

I tel you what, worrying about polo shirts and skirt waist sizes was a lot better than this!!

newspaper - lol I agree I thought th euniform part was stressful - little did I know! Good that you got to speak to the head, I hope she enjoys her lunch as you say even if she eats a little bit it's something isn't it. My dd is def much worse the longer I am taking her in in the morning, problems is there's so many people milling round a small corridor sorting out coats & book bags etc you can't get away quickly. Plus dd is in tears so I can't just dump her at a table I have to find someone who'llhold her hand. I'm looking forward to when mums don't go in, may be harder for dd to begin with but at least it will be a quick separation.

Acinonyx - A well done for your dd & no weeing y/day. I think my dd once she settles (please once & not if!) will love the structure of school, she loved nursery but her nursery wasn't the most challenging or consistent of places but they were always caring & I trusted them in the care of my dd. They weren't very good on having set routines as had so many staff changes, dd thrives on routine, on knowing what's happening & what is expected of her.

Debs & Marsha - Gladit went well this morning,just one more day & the it's weekend - yay! Thsi week has been one of the longest of my life!

I asked dp about his conversation with dd's teacher y/day. Turns out the teacher was more interested than he's originally said & it wasn't all said as bluntly as he'd first said.Men! Think he was cross about being spoken to in a "teachers" voice. Still unsure & hopefully when I have better control over my bottom lip I'll have a chat. I was hoping to have a word this pm at home time as it's obvioulsy less emotional for us all then but dp has asked fil to come with me to pick up dd as a treat. I was looking forward to coming home with dd & cuddling up on the sofa with a blankie & some snacks, now fil will whip her into a frenzy & she'll be hyper for hours & it'll all end in tears. Did make me laugh though, dp took dd to school this morning as he's away tonight, he makes out it's not such a worry for him as it is me but when it comes to him doing it it really does get to him too, not that he would admit it though!

dd1 had a great first day @ school she got covered in paint and brought home a book