Where are all the parents of kids who are average or below?

[DrNortherner]

It's great to see so many parents of kids on here who are doing really well at school, high SATS scores, G&T etc.

My ds is 6, in Year 2, and below average in most academic areas. He tries hard, contributes well in class, is popular, funny and a joy to be around. He loves school, is supported well, but will never set the world alight with his academic prowess!

Sometimes I worry - should I be doing more to help him? We seem to be in a world of pushing our kids to be hight acheivers at school.

But you know what? Dh and I are happy with this as our ds is happy. We always encourage him and praise him no matter what the outcome.

Anyone else in a similar position?

Well done- but it made me smile as I think of my 2 DSs, mentioned a bit earlier:

DS1, age 9 is a bit above average. He got a Headteacher Award for 'An excellent Powerpoint presentation on The Tudors'

DS2, age 7 and hovering below average got one for 'Sitting nicely'...

Only just seen this thread - just wanted to add - "well said pagwatch!"

Remember, half of us have to be average or below!!

jajas - I have DT boys too and one of mine sounds like yours. I think I would have died and gone to heaven if I heard the word "average" used to describe Dt2. Dt1 is above average so hard not to compare. Dt2 was awarded a statement last october .He is 7. Mine is not helped by being the youngest in his year and also being premature by 5 weeks so should be in the year below really. But then so should Dt1 and I think that would have been a disadvantage for him

Oh dont start me on school going age. Its difficult seeing the difference between them daily and its hard to enjoy Dt1's progress without wishing for DT2 to do the same. However i guess i only have to fight for one of them. Concerns were raised in October 06 when he was in yr1. He was then referred to the EP in jan 07 and not seen until June 08. Once he was seen things moved fairly quickly despite it being the summer holidays. His statement was in place for October 08. I didnt have issues with reports. All reports were produced by the various professionals within the timeframe outlined in the communications from the Education Board. I moved both boys to a new school in November with Dt2 goung to a unit attached to MS and Dt1 is going to MS. Dt2 has benefited from being in a very small class and he has made good progress to date. he could have stayed in MS but I wasnt convinced he would get enough support or the right type of support

Agree that a small private primary might be the solution. DS1 is in a non-selective private pre-prep (12 per class with a teacher and assistant ) and it gives support at both ends of the learning spectrum. Kids have different rates of learning, as many have pointed out here, and those who are "lagging" usually benefit greatly by the attention and extra support that this kind of school offers.

My own DS1 was dismissed by the other competitive parents in pre-school and nursery because he wasn't one of the beautifully behaved children. He was the loud, boisterous, "naughty" child. However, in the small, supportive, and structured environment, his Reception teacher was able see that DS1 was naughty because he was intellectually bored. She has been giving him extra work (he is reading several years above his year), and put him in a special math section with 3 other boys in the year (funny, the other 3 are also the more "naughty" ones) where they are doing maths ahead of their peers.

I'm certainly not smug, because, although DS1 may be academically ahead, he is WAY below average in other just-as-important areas.

Guess what I am trying to say is that all kids are less than average at some things, and better than average at others. I think our role as parents is just encourage them in the things they are good at and support them with the things they don't do so well in. It's really hard because of competitive parents and pressure on school about results to brush aside less than average academics. Too bad they don't give grades for all aspects of the child (league tables for politeness, kindness, creativity, etc don't exist).

Jajas No,my boys are not in private school. We are in Northern Ireland and the set up is probably a bit different to GB. There are not that many private schools here and the standard is pretty good in most state primary schools . My Dts were in a small school and the class sizes were small in the early years. Merging of classes led to bigger classes and I didn?t feel that there was a strong enough SEN in the school. Dt2 would only have got 2 hours a day 1 to 1 if we had kept him there and I would have been concerned that his 1 to 1 would also have been used for other children and there would have been no back up for sick leave. I have a friend who is a 1 to 1 in the school and that?s what happens. Dt2 is now in a class of 11. There is a FT Special needs Teaching assistant and a Special Needs teacher in the class. Often there are only 6 or 7 in the class as the younger ones go to their MS classes for PE and other structured play activities. I think DT2 is in a great environment for him. He is very keen to learn there and his reading in particular has come on leaps and bounds.
And both boys have moved into a brand new spanking school building this morning which is fantastic.

I worry about Secondary too though. It?s the aim of the unit to have children off statements by the time they leave primary school and in most cases that?s achieved but not always.