Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Where are all the parents of kids who are average or below?

109 replies

DrNortherner · 26/02/2009 11:51

It's great to see so many parents of kids on here who are doing really well at school, high SATS scores, G&T etc.

My ds is 6, in Year 2, and below average in most academic areas. He tries hard, contributes well in class, is popular, funny and a joy to be around. He loves school, is supported well, but will never set the world alight with his academic prowess!

Sometimes I worry - should I be doing more to help him? We seem to be in a world of pushing our kids to be hight acheivers at school.

But you know what? Dh and I are happy with this as our ds is happy. We always encourage him and praise him no matter what the outcome.

Anyone else in a similar position?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

jenkel · 26/02/2009 22:17

DD is 6 (Aug birthday) so youngest in her class and its think she is slightly below average, I'm quite frustrated with the whole school thing. I've never put any pressure on her, just encourage her to try her best, we have always done homework, but I dont do anything extra with her, I think they spend enough time at school and when they come home they just need to chill, but it is becoming obvious that we do need to spend more time with her helping her. But, we are not teachers and I really dont know if we are teaching her the right way, perhaps making her more confused. It just seems that we are constantly playing catch up with her, think she is OK with her reading but Maths and writing things down are a bit of struggle.

jenkel · 26/02/2009 22:22

Just want to add, she is really good at PE, won all her sports day races, very good at ballet, and I think very friendly (she has a large group of friends) and caring of which I am very pleased, just sad at the pressure she seems to be under at school to achieve academically and she is only 6!.

ingles2 · 26/02/2009 22:26

ds2 is distinctly average or below academically... he has dyscalculia but is mainly lazy.... However he's very quirky, entertaining and quite dramatic.
People ask me if I will tutor him for the 11+, and are then surprised when I say no. It's just not his bag of tricks... why would I want to send him somewhere he'll struggle?
ds1 on the other hand is very bright and sporty and people are always comparing them. which is a shame for ds2, as he is much more imaginative, creative and generous than ds1 but that doesn't seem to count

paddingtonbear1 · 26/02/2009 22:31

My dd's school seem to have their own standards, and dd is below 'their' standard in almost everything (it did say this on her last report). She has problems with concentration 'on things she is not interested in' (her teachers words). She has realised she's behind a lot of the others and says she's no good at reading/writing etc. She prefers creative stuff. She is 5, in yr 1 and young for her age - still prefers playing to school work. I can't bring myself to push her yet, I just don't want to at her age - we do reading and homework but that's about it.
dh and I were both very average at primary and had to work hard at secondary, but we do OK now.

stillenacht · 26/02/2009 22:32

Oh thank God for this thread! My DS is below average at his good state primary. I was very academic as a child and am a teacher. My husband was the same and is also a teacher and yet our son is very practical and hates reading and writing with a passion. We really struggle to understand his motivation for things and his total lack of interest in all things classroom based.

paddingtonbear1 · 26/02/2009 22:34

ingles2 I know what you mean, my dd is creative, imaginative and generous but never gets much praise for that! (except from me)

stillenacht · 26/02/2009 22:40

yes paddington - my younger DS has severe SEN and so my older DS (the one who is behind academically) has MUCH greater levels of tolerance, empathy, generosity than his peers - is this ever commented on by his teachers etc..NO! (and as i said i am a teacher and don't go into the slagging off teacher thingy as i know what they do all day). It pisses me off that so many qualities that my son has ingenuity, creativity, constructive skills are not praised in the classroom.

kylesmyloveheart · 26/02/2009 23:03

ds 7 is having problems at school. would not have worried me at all if he was just 'average'.

but he is struggling to keep up. have just started Kip and doing an hour with a friend of mine. when he catches up and becomes average i will stop these sessions.

but not that any of this matters anyway he going to play for england and chelsea !

faraday · 27/02/2009 14:16

I admit I am a bit nonplussed as to why our DSs aren't more academically able! But I realise that that is because I can be a bit up myself academically. I recognised that remark about being ex-grammar school, then not taking THAT much advantage of being supposedly above average academically, going travelling, (and not regretting one year of it!)- yet now I'm SATS central with my own DCs!

DS1, Y5 is perhaps a little above average, largely in the second group out of 5 for his core subjects. However, he cannot be bothered and has the attention span of tarmac. But he is quite street wise and is nobody's fool, iyswim. DS2, Y3 is at very best average. A far more open, simple and disingenuous (and socially immature) DS you'd not meet BUT my fear for him is that secondary will make mincemeat out of him. To that end we're moving into the catchment of what is considered an excellent secondary. It gets 88% A-C in the core subjects. Great. But the thing I want it for is simply it is considered to be doing great things with its less able pupils, not just the high flyers. The other thing is- and here it gets controversial... this school is in a 'nice' area. My fear for DS2 is that with his relative lack of academic ability, his chances of being in the lower groups is high. In our local catchmented secondary these lower groups are full of DCs with behavioural difficulties, neglectful backgrounds and cleverer DCs who can't be arsed and are thus determined to wreck the lessons for others.

DS2 doesn't need that! He needs ability appropriate learning in a disciplined environment!

I also laughed at the "We Want Grammar Schools" idea. It amuses me how the DCs of parents who can't afford private any more ASSUME Tybalt and Persephone will get into a local state grammar, like it's a birthright!

Finally, last whinge, what I dislike MORE than "My DC is gifted and is one stage one million in ORT" is "Oh, DD is driving us mad! We can't get a minute's PEACE as it's constantly, 'Mummy, explain relativity again!' or she's desperate to play her grade 8 piano piece to us AGAIN! What can you do?".....

Litchick · 27/02/2009 14:37

stillenach - I think it's appalling that your son's talents and virtues are not appreciated. Absolutely appalling.
I went to a parent's evening recently and my very average DD's teachers all sung her praises. 'a gem', 'a one off,' 'she lights up the classroom.'
One even said he thoroughly expected to see her in parliament or on the telly.
If anything the teachers were more effusive then for her very able sibling.
Goddness, this sort of crap makes me cross.

morningsun · 27/02/2009 14:42

lol "explain relativity again"

OrmIrian · 27/02/2009 14:42

"We can't get a minute's PEACE as it's constantly, 'Mummy, explain relativity again!' or she's desperate to play her grade 8 piano piece to us AGAIN! What can you do?".....

ROFL! Mine are information sinks to a certain extent. They want to know but when I really get going I will suddenly realise they have that look on their faces and one of them will gently say 'Mummy, that is very interesting but please can you stop talking now'.

chainstitch · 27/02/2009 14:44

yes to op

PrimulaVeris · 27/02/2009 14:51

rofl @ "relativity again"

MascaraOHara · 27/02/2009 14:52

DRN, only read OP at moment but I'm in exactly the same place with DD, also 6 and in year 2

TotalChaos · 27/02/2009 18:48

rofl faraday, ah yes, I'ld forgotten about the disguised boast under the guise of a problem technique....

colie · 27/02/2009 19:10

Dd1 is in the bottom, the plankton, group for maths and spelling. Think she is in the average group for reading.
Thank god I do not have the only child who is below average.
I would just love for her to be average at all the subjects.

Jajas · 27/02/2009 20:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jajas · 27/02/2009 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoffinMum · 27/02/2009 20:38

My DS2 is average IQ and is very low centiles in some things, so he has a statement of SEN.

He is probably the most happy and popular boy in the class though. He likes the Egyptians and his reading age is a bit above his chronogical age, because he's put in some effort with this. He loves music and I recently thought 'sod it' and put him in for a choristership at his request. After all, you never know who else is going to turn up on the day.

It's no big deal, the average thing, as long as they're literate and happy.

ingles2 · 27/02/2009 21:15

Ha! Had to post again, because ds2 got recognition today!
He got.... A Headteachers Award!!!!!!
For enthusiasm and excellent research in his topic work....
It was Vikings, history is his favourite subject and he wants to be an archaeologist...
He is so chuffed and excited and I am so chuffed for him.....

BoffinMum · 27/02/2009 21:19

That is ACE, Ingles.

Jajas · 27/02/2009 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ingles2 · 27/02/2009 22:00

Thank you... power to the average dc!!!!

colie · 28/02/2009 10:25

Oh well done to your son ingles.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5