Where are all the parents of kids who are average or below?

[DrNortherner]

It's great to see so many parents of kids on here who are doing really well at school, high SATS scores, G&T etc.

My ds is 6, in Year 2, and below average in most academic areas. He tries hard, contributes well in class, is popular, funny and a joy to be around. He loves school, is supported well, but will never set the world alight with his academic prowess!

Sometimes I worry - should I be doing more to help him? We seem to be in a world of pushing our kids to be hight acheivers at school.

But you know what? Dh and I are happy with this as our ds is happy. We always encourage him and praise him no matter what the outcome.

Anyone else in a similar position?

DD1 (3.5) can't do lots of the things her peers can do but I don't mind yet. Hate hate hate the idea that they will be set so early in school ... my teacher sister did some training at a school where the table names were sea creatures and the 'lowest' table were called the planktons . FWIW, I was dreamy and slow to 11 (even kept back a year) apart from literacy then it all clicked and I was clever!

I'm another one. 2 of my 3 are distinctly below average. DH and I were always academic high-fliers (both Oxbridge educated). If I'm honest, it took me a while to accept the fact that our kids aren't academically bright as it's something I never expected. I also went through a stage of beeing quietly resentful of other people's brilliant kids. However, our children are happy, confident, outgoing, healthy and well behaved and that's good enough for me.

"the 'lowest' table were called the planktons"

Un-fecking-believable

At least ours are innocuous (red, blue, green table etc)

"I also went through a stage of beeing quietly resentful of other people's brilliant kids"

I think that's quite reasonable. Some of them (a vocal minority) are so ostentatiously showy about their child's 'brilliance'. I felt like hitting a friend of mine who referred to the 'thickies' in class. Secretly I fantasise that dd will blossom at some stage and far surpass their children

ooh yes HMC, that's one of my fantasies too. I know it's horrid but I was secretly pleased recently when the smuggiest of smug mummy's "brilliant" daughter failed to win a place at one of the country's top girls school on account of her "appalling rudeness to her fellow applicants and assessors" on the day. Academic brilliance clearly isn't everything.

I still though deep down struggle to understand why our children aren't as good as their peers. I also find it hard that because our friends know DH and I have always been strong academically that they assume that our kids are too and will sail into the best schools etc.

OOOOh, I am vicariously living through you and enjoying that story about your friend's daughter too

Chocolatedot - I constantly ponder the same (why isn't she doing better...considering her home environment, parents appetite for learning etc)

DS1 is a 'high achiever'- he is two years above my 'below avg' DS2.

I now realise what a smug twat I must have sounded in the playground when discussing DS1's 'fantastic ability'.

Life is far too short to worry about KS Levels and farking SAT results.

My only hope for them academically is that they are both capable of pursuing a job that they enjoy in adulthood.

DS1 wants to join the Army (but as an Officer he tells me)- Ds2 wants to be a hairdresser.
This is good enough for me.

at 'smug twat'

Ha! - I expect we would all be prone to that if our firstborn showed early promise

God my Mum used to go on and on about how clever I was, how good my marks were etc etc ad infintium

It used to make me squirm

My A level results were a crushing blow to her - bsolutely nothing to boast about at all. She was far more bothered about them than I was

HMC -yeeees sometimes people are a little keen to boast about their offspring's wonderful writing skills or being on level one million on the ORT.

I know- I laugh at myself, because when I look at DS2 and how happy he is regardless of sitting on the 'Planktons' (that is awful) table, I realise that all this 'high achiever' shit is a load of bolleaux.

I cant believe I allowed myself to behave like a neurotic mother for the first few years at the school. I find other mothers talk to me more now!!

My daughter has her very own "plankton" table and is the only child in the class with easier spelling words. To cap it all, she's rubbish at sport too (her word not mine).

My ds has just managed to work his way up from the bottom set to the next-to-bottom. So not a shining academic star. Doesn't mean I can't be proud of him. I can see him in one of the caring professions; his people skills are very good.

No grammar schools in our area, so he won't have to stress about the 11+. (and he is bright enough to understand that SATS don't matter)

dd1 is average too. When she was in year 2, she scored varying level 2s in her SATS. It felt like she was the only one on MN who did not get any level 3's. However, she adores art, and I think she is above average in that. They all have their talents, and they are not all academic.

What an excellent thread. My dc's feel very average in their primary - though that's partly because there are so many bright/pushed kids it's hard to get a hold on what bright/average means round here.

DD's position just above plankton, but actually I think she's doing well

Ds usually on 'plankton' table but I think he's doing fine

Quite often asked casually "are your children academic, Primula?" and I can never work out if the real question is; 1. Are your children at a lower level than mine 2. Please tell me you're not also competing against my gifted child for a place St Twat's High School

tbh i'd have thoiught plankton wouldn't be so bad, he's a great spongebob character.

DS1 is below average in most subjects except PE and well below average in maths (he has dyscalculia). It doesn't help him much that his three younger siblings are all very able academically. But he has other talents and hopefully will be able to find something not academic that he loves to do and be successful at it.

DS1 (7 yrs) was on the Plankton table for the first year but has slowly made his way up. Now he is nearish the top. I would be lying if I wasn't worried at first but then remembered I had been the same.

My DS is below average in his class but he is happy at school and enjoys learning. Although I mix with lots of pushy mums, I do not believe that you can write off an average child - maybe my DS will not be a doctor, solicitor or investment banker, but that does not matter at all! There are plenty of average people out there who have happy and fulfilling lives. (and good jobs!)

Here !

DD struggles with maths. She has, however, come on leaps and bounds in her reading in the last 6-8 months so now she is average, I would say.

She loves science and crafty things and has an elephantine memeroy and great vocabulary. She is much more of a do-er than a thinkier, but then I'm inclined to think that most 6yo children are much more practically minded than academically.

thinker, not thinkier!