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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

unconditional parents- how do you deal with reward systems in school??

108 replies

thisisyesterday · 11/02/2009 19:59

ds1 is due to start school in september and on my big list of "things to worry about" is the kind of reward systems they may (or may not) use.

I have heard about schools using reward charts for good behaviour, and in some cases even having things like a smiley face chart on the wall where a child who "misbehaves" gets an unhappy face stuck up. or gets their name moved from a sunshine to a grey cloud.

I was just wondering how you deal with this really??? do your kids just accept that school have a different way of dealing with things? do you feel pressured to do it at home too?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Littlefish · 12/02/2009 19:23

Thread about positive discipline in schools in case anyone is interested.

cory · 12/02/2009 19:26

Prison may not work. But in the case of my 8-year-old, the threat of lunchtime detention works pretty well in making him remember his homework

muppetgirl · 12/02/2009 19:35

Hi Littlefish!

It can work in schools but as the posters point out on the other thread (by littlefish) it takes time, this is what we don't give children in schools. We want instant control over the children so we can teach them stuff. What we are missing is that many children come out of school not being able to get on with people, use intitiative, have a bad attitude to work etc. Industry is constantly complaining about youg adults...

Original poster

thisisyesterday · 12/02/2009 19:36

wow am enjoying that thread littlefish, thank you for linking to it.
it's so nice to hear that actually teachers and schools are capable of doing things without rewards and sanctions. and how lovely you all sound!!!!

am now going to be incredibly disappointed with ds1's alloted school I fear lol

OP posts:

muppetgirl · 12/02/2009 19:44

I think a lot of teachers are frightened of letting the reings go on their classes. Children are the most fabulous wonderful lot of beings you will ever come across. They ask the most amazing, non inhibited question butthey have a thirst for knowledge that seems to get hammered out of them during their education.

I loved working with the difficult lot, they were hard but they were by far the most rewarding and not a sticker in sight. If you build a child's sef esteem and teach them how to evaluate themselves they don't need to look to adults for sticker rewards. They get to like the feeling of doing well.

londonone · 12/02/2009 19:49

muppetgirl - I agree these things take time and for many children who come from chaotic homes they need perhaps a year or two of socialisation and learning to learn before we can teach them anything. When you say we want instant control over children I think that implies that that is what all teachers want, I would suggest that most teachers would prefer to teach far less academic content and far more social content at primary. If we did this then I have no doubt we would reap the rewards as children would be far more able to learn quickly and effectively once the academics were introduced. Unfortunately the government seem determind that children should be academically drilled and measured and tested from the youngest age possible and it is this pressure and the associated horrors homework, league tables and overstuffed NC that lead to schools feeling they must control children ASAP in order to fill their brains with 18 different genres of writing!

londonone · 12/02/2009 19:54

muppetgirl - you said "I loved working with the difficult lot, they were hard but they were by far the most rewarding and not a sticker in sight. If you build a child's sef esteem and teach them how to evaluate themselves they don't need to look to adults for sticker rewards. They get to like the feeling of doing well."

I have to disagree with you on this, this is not applicable to all children. Same as some adults enjoy destructive, violent or anti social behaviour so do some children. They are a tiny tiny number but they do exist.

Original poster

thisisyesterday · 12/02/2009 19:54

now that's a post I can agree with londonone

OP posts:

muppetgirl · 12/02/2009 19:55

I totally agree londonone. I didn't mean to make sweeping statements and all my teacher friends do hate the 'too packed' curriculum we currently have.

It's definately the reason why teachers have to have instant control over their class as they have a huge amount to get through in the year!

muppetgirl · 12/02/2009 19:57

I agree with your second post again, didn't mean to make sweeping statements about every child reaping the rewards of a more reward free approach. There are always going to be some children teacher's can't reach for whatever reason but there are a heck of a lot more that you can...

londonone · 12/02/2009 20:00

Total thread hijack - In fact I may even start a thread, but what is it with some (many/all?) obsession with homework?

If I had my way there would be no homework in primary save perhaps for towards end of Y6. Encouragement to learn times tables etc but not formal homework.

Original poster

thisisyesterday · 12/02/2009 20:03

oh absolutely, another thing I am dreading. how can it be necessary at primary school age?

OP posts:

londonone · 12/02/2009 20:08

short answer - It isn't!

muppetgirl · 12/02/2009 20:08

londonone -just thought about what you said whilst emptying the tumble dryer!!

I never did get to the bottom of my headbanging child. He still did it but I think by working with the class in the way we did we managed to alter the other children's attitudes towards him. They learned to separate him from his beahviour and I remember we all were chatting and I said that we think A is a fab boy and the class started joining in telling him they thought he was great. He cried as no one had ever said such nice things to him -he'd always been the weirdy child who banged his head against the teacher's desk but couldn't tell you why. He started to have friends which was so great to see. I agree though, I never did alter his behaviour!

muppetgirl · 12/02/2009 20:15

I swing wildly with h/work and I'm abit to admit it. Ds has never been a 'colourer' didn't touch playdough, and all other fine motor skills activities when he was little despite his teacher mother desperatley laying on (she thought) exciting things for him to do so now he has found writing difficult as his muscles can't cope with it and his hand tires. We do a little letter formation at home, learning the words his teacher wants him too. Also we do reading everyday but then he's desperate to read....?

I do think on the against side that homework does encourage a blur between home and school/work. We all know we work some of the longest hours in Europe and here we are encouraging children to carry on working after school has finished. Shouldn't work be work and home be home?

piscesmoon · 12/02/2009 20:17

I was glad to read your last post muppetgirl, the curriculum that we have to get through doesn't allow for a lot of things that you want to do as a teacher-time is a great luxury.
I agree entirely with your way of dealing with a difficult class but it takes time to build up a relationship with them all!
I don't know if you have tried supply teaching but if you go into a difficult
class, knowing no names or the school system, with someone else's lesson plan and a load of work to get through you sometimes have a use for a quick reward system!
Classes can be very different within the same school, some are a delight and some are a battle. Luckily I don't have to go back if I don't like them.
In actual fact it is the adults who make me decide whether I like a school or not.
One of my favourites has some children who are quite difficult but the staff are very supportive and they have nurture groups etc. The schools that I won't go back to are the ones that leave you to cope on your own with no support-and yes I use bribery.
Today I had a potentially difficult class but I had 2 TAs in with me and we got on really well. Yesterday I had Yr 6 (always the most difficult), there were 32 of them and just me and they were a pleasure.
I generally like to reward whole class behaviour with special golden time at the end of the week when everyone can relax a bit if they have deserved it.

piscesmoon · 12/02/2009 20:18

Sorry it moved on-it was your last post when I started writing but I think it ended up 3 back!

londonone · 12/02/2009 20:20

piscesmoon - whereabouts do you supply? Agree about the adults not child thing btw!

popsycal · 12/02/2009 20:23

I sm really interested in this from avariety of perspectives....
MIL is of the variety who witholds pudding if sufficient dinner isnt eaten
my mum gives 'pocket money' for good reports.....grrrrr

I am also a teacher who cringes when the naughtiest child getsm their 20 merits certificate but the 'mild mannered majority' as I call them (not to their faces). Those children who do evrerything expected of them but eget missed out as they are not at one extreme or the other and then there is child X who the previous day had caused merry hell getting a merit for putting his hand up to answer questions rather than shouting out

bugs me to death

piscesmoon · 12/02/2009 20:25

In a very nice area lononone so I hate to think what the schools in a bad area are like! I don't go in to crowd control, it is horrible and not worth the pay-whereas if you have a nice class it is the best job ever! All DCs have a good side but you need time and support to find it. A large class, no help and a packed curriculum are very frustrating-with the best will in the world you can't do it (not in a day anyway!)

popsycal · 12/02/2009 20:25

but the 'mild mannered majority' as I call them, don't (not to their faces)

typing in semi-darkness sorry (dson't ask)

popsycal · 12/02/2009 20:51

I have just ordered this book from AMazon - thanks for pointing me in its direction - it kind of summarises how I feel about thwe whle issue but have not really been able to put my finger on it!

muppetgirl · 12/02/2009 20:59

piscesmoon - yes I did supply as we were technically qualified teachers after our 3rd year but we still had another year of our subject before we got the degree iyswim. I did it for a year (as did all my friends) and went to some very inner city schools in and around Reading. I agree what you do with a class on a day to day basis is very different to what you do on supply!! I remember my favourite chants were

the bell is a signal for me to finsih my lesson not you to pack up
I get paid to be here all day so I don't mind if I sit here or in the staffroom...
A day with a supply isn't a day off just a day with a different teacher....

I must have bored them for England!!

I do remember the day I had a particularly hard class and when I got home I was told my my ex he had just arested a man right outside the school whilst I was teaching!

I take my hat off to you if you do this on a daily basis!!!

imaginaryfriend · 12/02/2009 21:23

I feel exactly like you popsycal. I wrote expressing similar annoyance earlier in relation to dd who is a mild-mannered majority and is always frustrated about her 'invisibility.'

muppetgirl · 12/02/2009 21:28

...unlike my ds 1 who makes himself very visible

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