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Original poster

My ds is being picked on because he doesnt have a Nintendo! Help!!!!

87 replies

Yurtgirl · 18/12/2008 20:24

As the title says!

My ds is 7 with aspergers - so I suspect stands out rather from the rest of the class as being perhaps rather odd.

He has for a while asked for a nintendo ds - for various reasons I am not inclined to buy one atm. According to him the whole of his class have got one (I suspect this isnt true!)

A delightful child has being calling him a "baby" because he hasnt got a nintendo - Same child also kicks him whenever he gets the chance and seems to have got other children to join in, in picking on my ds

Help!!!!!!!!!! What shall I do?

All helpful thoughts welcome!

OP posts:
cory · 18/12/2008 20:27

Speak to teacher. This is bullying. School needs to deal with it.

LynetteScavo · 18/12/2008 20:28

Surely it's not really to do with him not having a nintendo?

What have the school done about this kicking?

UnfortunatelyMe · 18/12/2008 20:28

I dont know any children without a ds But it sounds like this kid would be kicking and picking on ds anyway
Im never sure whether statements such as a loud Leave me Alone etc are good, so wait for someone else to advise about that.
Record each incident with the teacher, make it a problem that needs to be solved.

SammyK · 18/12/2008 20:29

Aw your poor ds

Are school aware of this bullying?

Can you point out some lovely things he does have (don't hve to be material things), and also discuss why bully may be behaving so horribly.

I know a 3 year old with a ninentdo ds
My ds not hving one until 18

cory · 18/12/2008 20:29

Ds is 8 and hasn't got one.

Original poster
Yurtgirl · 18/12/2008 20:47

Thanks for your thoughts so far

We had a 20 min fretful discussion about this at bedtime tonight, not fun

I reminded him of all the brilliant things about his life, things that plenty of children at school dont have (a mum who listens and cares for a start!!!!)

I reminded him of the many children around the world who are grateful for the very little that their family owns - and who possibly live in a shack

I reminded him that if he had a nintendo for christmas that would mean one present - the nintendo and thats it. As it is he will get a heap of fabulous things - games, books, things to fiddle with etc, things that will entertain him and intrigue him and his sister for hours

He was not convinced though - still moaning about how mean I am

OP posts:
Original poster
Yurtgirl · 18/12/2008 20:51

FWIW this kid would pick on ds anyway - my buying a ds isnt going to solve the problem in itself

I was really when my mum offered to buy him one so that he wouldnt feel different (even though she has already bought his presents)

The combined total of presents from me, his dad and my parents will come to £100ish which I think is fine - If he gets a nintendo that will be it, to spend more seems excessive surely

OP posts:
UnfortunatelyMe · 18/12/2008 20:52

Has he got any sort of handheld? We have a gameboy advance here thats no longer needed.

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 18/12/2008 20:57

I agree that buying a DS isn't going to stop the problems. You need to speak to the school and insist they sort this bullying out.

lil · 18/12/2008 21:04

As you know, a bully will find any reason to pick on a child they wish to torment, be it too brainy, too dim, too fat, too skinny, religion, hair colour..its endless, so the nintendo is not the issue. You have to decide whether the school, you or your son is the best person to deal with this bully. Especially if he is SEN, the school will want to know/deal with it for sure.

Original poster
Yurtgirl · 18/12/2008 21:05

Unfortunatelyme - thankyou for the really kind thought. Persumably you have got games that work on it to that you no longer want? Or are the games interchangable with a ds

How much would you like for it? It is a tempting thought if it would help DS to cheer up!!

OP posts:
UnfortunatelyMe · 18/12/2008 21:07

We have some kicking about. KIds are off tommorow, will make them locate all thats needed. No money required. You can also pick up games for a couple of quid on ebay...will get back to you tommorow okay

Original poster
Yurtgirl · 18/12/2008 21:15

Thanks UM - that will no doubt do the trick about this particular issue.

But obviously there is a wider problem here

I have mentioned it to the school but I dont think his teacher realises just how upset he is by this - DS says the kids are clever at doing stuff when teachers arent looking

I am seriously thinking about not sending him to school tomorrow as the whole no uniform/toy day whatnot is going to upset him

All they seem to have done every afternoon this week is watch tv anyway

OP posts:
lil · 18/12/2008 21:16

yurtgirl, I am confused, I thought you wanted to sort out the bullying. Why are you suddenly changing your own principles about buying one, because of some bullying child??? What sort of a message are you sending your son - that bullys are right? that mum is wrong? sounds like you are making this worse.

lil · 18/12/2008 21:17

x-post!!

MrsWilburton · 18/12/2008 21:17

Oh buy him one fgs.

Original poster
Yurtgirl · 18/12/2008 21:29

Sorry UM - that should have been a huge "Ooooooooooh thanks ever so much, that is really kind of you!"

OP posts:
Original poster
Yurtgirl · 18/12/2008 21:37

Lil - I know I know I sound like a confused minx, please forgive me - it has been a long haul the last few weeks of lone parenting with ds and dd driving me slightly kooky - DS has no idea I might waver on this issue so I am not concerned that I am setting him a bad exanple! More concerned that when he is an adult he will hate me for not giving in)

Its just that unfortunatelyme was so kind to offer - I felt chuffed tbh that someone cared tbh!

By 21 Century standards this is a technology free household - no tv licence (only videos/dvd on tv, maybe twice a week), computer/internet on twice a week. No games consoles of any kind. etc etc

DS is more than happy with the way we do things until he goes to school and realises how the other half lives as it were

OP posts:
MrsWilburton · 18/12/2008 21:39

SO he is 7 and DOES realise that not only does he have Apsbergers that sets him apart, his mum is deliberatley alienating him form mainstream culture by not allowing him what other people would deem normal things, like a tv.

why would a loving mum do that then?

Original poster
Yurtgirl · 18/12/2008 21:41

Two really helpful posts mrs wilburton thankyou

OP posts:
MrsWilburton · 18/12/2008 21:42

why do you deliberately set him apart? I don't get why parents do this. All you want to do as a kid is fit in wiht everyone else. Yet you aspire to set him apart.

MollieO · 18/12/2008 21:50

I don't think the issue is whether or not he has a DS. If you got him one then these children will find something else to pick on. Bullying is the problem and the lack of a DS is not the cause. The school need to deal with this and be made aware of what is going on (if you haven't already spoken to them).

I'm against game consoles as I think they stifle imagination and creativity. A few of my friends are getting their dc DS for Christmas. My ds has asked for one too. He isn't getting one but I'm getting him an electric guitar instead. If he is going to laze around the house then he can at least be learning a skill!

roisin · 18/12/2008 21:50

This kind of issue does affect different children different ways.

ds1 was not really fussed about the fact that he was the last in his class to get a Gameboy (and only then when he saved up birthday/christmas and pocket money and bought it himself!), same with DS, same with mobile. He quite likes being able to moan to his friends that I am the meanest, wicked-witch-of-the-west mum. He doesn't mind being different from his mates and standing out.

ds2 on the other hand is much more obsessed about fitting in, and will do anything to make sure he doesn't stand out from the crowd. This is not a good thing, and ds1 is far happier because he just accepts that he is different and gets on with it.

(ds1 had severe speech articulation problems when he was younger, and still speaks rather oddly. He's also rather strange in other ways, and very geeky/nerdy. So there is no way in a million years he is ever going to 'blend in'. It's far more positive that he has accepted this, rather than trying to fight against it.)

FioFio · 18/12/2008 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MrsWilburton · 18/12/2008 21:53

Why do they haev to be learning all the time? my 5 year old has a reading age of 10 and I am sure a lot of this is becuase of reading games things. He can also build a castle, rocket, play sport etc.