Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

My ds is being picked on because he doesnt have a Nintendo! Help!!!!

87 replies

Yurtgirl · 18/12/2008 20:24

As the title says!

My ds is 7 with aspergers - so I suspect stands out rather from the rest of the class as being perhaps rather odd.

He has for a while asked for a nintendo ds - for various reasons I am not inclined to buy one atm. According to him the whole of his class have got one (I suspect this isnt true!)

A delightful child has being calling him a "baby" because he hasnt got a nintendo - Same child also kicks him whenever he gets the chance and seems to have got other children to join in, in picking on my ds

Help!!!!!!!!!! What shall I do?

All helpful thoughts welcome!

OP posts:

ahundredtimes · 19/12/2008 17:33

Thank you SM. I am surprised at them to be honest.

OP - I did buy a Wii because I thought it'd help when ds1 when friends home. And it sort of did. All these things are okay in balance - everyone still engages imaginatively with the world.

Interesting ds2 is helping a friend and her autistic child in some social programme - sorry not sure what it is - he goes round and they sort of role play social situations. She's got a Wii for exactly this reason too. Though ds2 says they got bored of it, and he tried to teach X how to play Hide and Seek instead.

Bit of both perhaps? Like most things in life.

Fennel · 19/12/2008 17:45

I do know quite a few 7-10 year olds who don't have these things, but we do live in an area stuffed with eco-hippy types, we know lots of children through woodcraft folk - lots of those are home schooled or Steiner schooled and there are plenty of Odd Anti-ds parents around. DP and I feel desperately mainstream sometimes just for having jobs we go to. Rather than doing the odd bit of pottery or being a volunteer dolphin-rescuer.

it helps, with the resisting the curse of the games console.

but as I say I would be much more bothered if my children really were the only ones at school and were socially struggling. I would take that seriously.

nappyaddict · 19/12/2008 18:30

YG - if you think he is too young stick to your guns. I think most parents actually think their children are too young to have them but because they get all the "but everyone else has one it's not fair" crap they decide to get one so they won't be the odd one out.

Even if you get a DS this boy will then probably start picking on him cos he hasn't got a wii or whatever the latest thing is these days. My cousin's children are 9, 6 and 6. The 6 year olds are having psps Between them they have an xbox, xbox 360 (the xbox was bought for an october birthday. the boy then asked for an xbox 360 for xmas of the same year and they got it him ) and a wii. i think they have also had a ps1 and ps2 and a gameboy each but they have now been sold or relegated to some cupboard.

I'm hoping to hold out until DS is 9 for all this stuff. Otherwise don't you run out of things to get them when they are older?

wrapstar · 19/12/2008 18:44

I also have a kid with Aspergers and agree with SixSpotBurnet - I WISH he was into the latest thing - it would be a really good omen for his future and a sign that his Aspergers was 'milder' if you like.
Yurtgirl, I think it is fantastic that your little boy is aware of what his peers do and have and that he wants to fit in with them. My little boy is about the same age and do you know what he wants? A Thomas aquadraw, and that makes me really sad, as it shows he has absolutely no idea of appropriate behaviour for his age, and no idea of how other people might react to this choice, which is not good news at all. If my son wanted a nintendo and I thought he would use it and enjoy it, I'd get one for him. I might even get one anyway for his birthday. It's really important to help kids with Aspergers to fit in. It's a parental duty in my opinion.

wrapstar · 19/12/2008 18:45

Agree with everyone else that you need to school to crack down hard on the little shit kicking your son (if that is what is happening - experience tells me that kids aren't always reliable).

apostropheelingchristmassy · 19/12/2008 21:58

It's possible that he's telling the truth - that he is the only one or virtually the only one without. I can remember telling my mother, all the way through my chemistry A level course, that I was the only girl in the school who still wore a 3rd form art overall in 6th form science practicals - everyone else had a white labcoat. She didn't believe me until I produced photographic evidence at the end of 6th form.

Not saying that nintendos are good - I'd be resistant too, but there might be more than a grain of truth in the "everyone has it".

melissa75 · 22/12/2008 20:53

Hi, I am a teacher in a primary school and I take bullying of children veryseriously. Most schools have a policy on bullying, which you should have in your parent handbook, I wouldsuggest you refer to it, if you don't have it, then see the school to read the policy. I would start by seeing the teacher about the situation, see if she or he are aware of the situation and try to come up with feasible solutions that will help your son to feel more comfortable at school and try to stop the bullying. If the agreed attempts at a solution do not work, then I would involve the headteacher, we had this with one of the children in my class, where the parents, the head and myself sat down and discussed solutions that eveyone was happy with and would hopefully work.

The fact of the DS is not the issue here, it does not matter what the thing in question is, even if hehad a DS, the bully would find something else...the longer you allow this situation to go on, the worse it is going to get.

justagirlfromedgware · 26/12/2008 14:28

I agree with the general mood that the OP needs to address the bullying with the school and buying a Nintendo won't necessarily help.

FWIW my DS aged 10 doesn't have any consoles of any sort, although he does have access to my very speedy laptop with broadband when I let him. There are tons of free games on the net via miniclip www.miniclip.com. I'm not against technology per se, but feel it is immensely anti-social. When DS has a friend round they're restricted to time on the computer and it's so gratifying to see them inventing their own games, or playing with the veritable toy shop that DS's bedroom contains.

Regarding the fitting in point, my son has been picked on, but not for the lack of technology at home. More due to his being small and with, let's say, unusual interests such as zoology, palaeantology, maths etc. His dislike of playing football hasn't helped. What has been a revelation in teh past year is that YU-GI-OH cards are big in the juniors' playground. He managed to acquire a small collection just through trading and donations of unwanted cards from other boys (and now he buys them quite regularly with pocket-money). Suddenly his card (and maths) skills are seen as a positive by the other children.

Maybe when seeing the teacher, the OP could ask if there is a similar craze that her DS might get into, then alongside addressing the bullying, perhaps a positive solution can be found?

Katiestar · 29/12/2008 22:30

i don't know why people think computer gaming (in moderation) is bad ,lumping them in with passive occupations like watching TV.I know of absolutely no studies that have shown that.On the contrary they help with reading and processing lots of information quickly,problem solving as well as fine motor skills.

Katiestar · 29/12/2008 22:31

mousymum · 29/12/2008 22:48

I didn't get my dd one till she turned nine,and I think she appreciated it more than friends who had them at four.We are like the poor relatives to our friends,and we can't keep up,so we usually get it in the neck from our much more hip children.I think most children today get far too much,including my own children.Do what you think is right.My husband never got half the presents I had as a child and he is much happier and has achieved much more career wise and academically.

mousymum · 29/12/2008 22:58

My daughter gets annoyed because she has never been on a plane and her friends have.If its not one thing they pick on its another,so if its really upsetting speak to teacher;I agree with melissa75.

Flip

1 2 3 4