Why are teachers failing the narrative for boys, is boy playing incompatible with school

[Leteer]

Does anyone feel like boy play is deeply unsupported and thoroughly discouraged in school up to the point where boys are questioning if play is actually good / encourages boys to question if their hard wired need for play is a bad thing. Isn't this a downward spiral for boys to not support what nature gave them which could in turn affect academic work.

Our local primary school has 1 hour of pe a week. Playground time (with access to a space to allow running) is not every day either.
Only the most sedentary child will be able to stay sane in there!

I totally agree with this. Girls naturally want to do all these things too but they are socialised out of it at a young age. Boys are perhaps less agreeable/compliant than girls and/or their boisterousness is more tolerated at home and elsewhere.

And if you cant change school to one that supports play fights, organise play fights at home in your garden @Leteer , you have to be part of the solution.

Or of course let your boy take part in intense physical activities after school, he could do football training a few times a week, lots of boy like football, or rugby, swimming, ice hockey, the options are endless. take them to lazertag, trampoline park and teach your boy to control himself in school. No one like a little brute in my experience but if he is sporty he will have a great time making friends.

‘Play fighting’ is a contradiction in terms. A 7 year old child who watches fighting on Tv has no idea how to control their body in order to not hurt someone else. We talk about body autonomy, no touching, boundaries then we are supposed to ignore one child hurting another because it’s ’play fighting’? How is a child supposed to know the difference?
How are 3 members of staff on playground duty with 120 children supposed to ensure that any ‘play fighting’ that goes on is safe, that no one will get hurt, that it’s consensual, that it’s not actually one child picking on another?
My opposite sex grandchildren spend a lot of time wrestling each other at home, the difference being there’s no other children there and the adults can easily judge if it’s safe or going too far. It’s a very different situation than a busy school playground.

Why do you assume I'm asking for myself?

I'm noticing a pattern over many many years of being around different children, studying psychology at university, reading articles, hearing parents pull children out of school, hearing parents say they were considering diagnosing their child because they would sit still in a classroom, is this all normal and are we aspirational as a country for our education because I'm also hearing lots of teachers complaining too.

I thought it was supposed to be 2 hrs, legally?

I completely agree that children should be more active. Climbing, jumping, team games, and many children struggle when not active enough. Out door active learning.. We sit children at desks for far too long and too soon. Risk taking is important too. Things like forests schools are fabulous for this.

I have never known a school allow play fighting though, parental complaints would be through the roof. I can see a place for taught martial arts maybe, but you would need proper qualified teachers.

My DD’s school have just introduced somerging called Opal. Outdoor Play and Learning. I have been very impressed with it - the children get more time outside, and behaviour issues have improved immensely. Most importantly of all to me, my DD doesn’t feel intimidated in the playground anymore because it used to be feral. It is unstructured, as in the children can do what they like, but it channels the children’s energy in positive ways.

I do also agree with this. It starts at an extremely young age. By 3 my boys both had some gendered expectations picked up from nursery, which I quickly busted.

Look up OPAL play. Lots and lots of schools are recognising the need to bring meaningful play opportunities into the school day.
Find a school that follows this and send your child there .

opal play is brilliant.

Ive watched y5s and 6s hurling each other around in wheelie bins at playtime! Equally split between the sexes.

I can’t stand the whining about poor boys not getting enough time to play etc. while girls are supposed to put up with it. Kids all need physical activity and the school day should be structured to allow for that.

Opal play is all about risk taking.

I’ve got a boisterous boy, he’s like a bull in a china shop.

Outside of the opportunity for play or physical activity at school, I do not expect him to be allowed to charge about. He goes to school to learn, not push his mates around and hurt people.

The boundless energy he has at school (and at home) is channelled into bike riding, games, climbing, using play equipment, etc.

He does not “need” to play fight with the other children, or be “rough” with them, and I certainly wouldn’t expect him to be allowed to do that at school.

I think how much supervision is needed depends hugely on which age we are talking about, 4 year olds definately, 8/9/10 year olds- not so much.

The school I work in uses OPAL, it’s great. We have lots of climbing equipment and bikes, tyres and the children are outdoor in all weather. It’s great.

School is not the place for “rough and tumble” give your precious boys space to do that at home and you can deal with the fall out.

There are plenty of opportunities in the schools I work in for kids to engage in active play and the boys and girls both love running around, building things, etc.

Take your boys will be boys mantra and shove it!

Maybe those stats - whatever they are - show that parents of boys have lower expectations of their capabilities and treat their sons differently than their daughters.
All the stats I have seen regarding achievement for different demographics do tend to show girls outperforming boys in certain subjects. What those stats don’t do, however, is explain why that’s the case. The difference of attainment for sex at GCSE in the 23/24 school year showed girls outperformed boys by just 5%. More research needs to be done on the reasons for any difference.

Parent of a boy and teacher. Our school allows play fighting as long as the children stop when someone clearly is hurt. We encourage a caring ethos so they can resolve the situation between them rather than involving a teacher every time a child says He bumped me with his elbow. But as other teachers say it’s a lot of children to supervise. Sometimes someone does get a proper injury and it’s not always clear as you can’t keep your eyes on everyone so we need to err on the side of caution as I do get complaints from some parents when children have a tiny graze or scratch and there’s no medical form. We also have OPAL - excellent play scheme.

It’s because too many parents of boys excuse their sons poor behaviour rather than parenting them effectively. Four and five year olds who think kicking, shoving and pushing is acceptable have been poorly parented.

This is true. In Scandinavian countries school starts at 6/7 y old. Before it's preschool where they learn but it's playoriented and physical play is given most time. This is to align with children's development and no difference is seen in learning outcomes later on.

You think fighting for boys is 'natural' and should be allowed in schools? Jesus wept, no wonder we've got a problem with male violence.

@tackytriceratops its s guidance, not law.
Technically it is scheduled for 2 hours (still ridiculously low!), in reality the 2nd hour is mostly spend on catch up for other stuff (sats, phonics screening, timestable practice. …)

I really recommend some of you read 'delusions of gender' by Cordelia Fine, if you want to understand that these 'innate' behaviours in boys are all socialised. You only have to attend a toddler group to see how this is reinforced from a young age.

There's also heaps of evidence that schools working to undo some of that socialisation is really good for boys' educational outcomes, especially their vocabulary and English skills. Saying behaviours are innate is bad for boys, as well as girls.

They are also intimidated out of them by the aggressiveness of the boys. By the time they get to y6, very few girls are left on the football pitch for example. Oh, girls don’t like it as much. Round and round it goes. They love football, what they don’t love is the slide tackling, swearing, shouting, shoving, pushing to the ground, being told they’re crap etc.