Why are teachers failing the narrative for boys, is boy playing incompatible with school

[Leteer]

Does anyone feel like boy play is deeply unsupported and thoroughly discouraged in school up to the point where boys are questioning if play is actually good / encourages boys to question if their hard wired need for play is a bad thing. Isn't this a downward spiral for boys to not support what nature gave them which could in turn affect academic work.

This!

Apart from fighting, that all seems to go on in the playground. I don't really see how that is 'boy play' though, that seems a bizarrely outdated view.

Have you observed children's play lately? I have, in a good number of schools as part of my job. Here is still generally a difference down the boy/girl line even if it's not 100%.

It’s broad sweeping statements. “On average” some boys seem to need to be super active where the girls don’t. I’ve seen it over and over again. Not all though. My eldest was not interested in rough and tumble with the boys at nursery and would play mummy’s and daddy’s with the girls.

On average, OT’s will see more boys than girls for fine motor issues.

Chasey games started in reception/ y 1. He’s a child who never stopped outside school but was very very focussed in school.

Unfortunately there are now too many boys whose parents don't ensure they have sufficient physical activity each and every day. They don't take them to the park and playground as babies and toddlers, don't teach them to scoot or cycle, they don't learn to ice skate or roller skate, not playing out with friends but stuck at home on their games consoles. No wonder they go feral given half the chance.

On top of that many kids do no longer get told 'no' at home and cannot tolerate boundaries, main character syndrome is rife so I get why schools are banning perfectly normal games such as tag, there are too many children who are totally out of control.

If op has such an issue she should make sure to take her boy to sports activities and to the park for a ru around every day. Football, rugby, learning an instrument helping with chores, all good to regulate boys. A firm but loving male role model such as dad or other close male relation sports trainer etc is also vital.

Why blame school?

I’m a teacher and I’ve taught both KS1 and KS2. I also have my own children who are a boy and a girl. My thoughts are:

1. Gender differences are massively over-exaggerated. Boys and girls are far more alike than they are different. When I look at my playground, the children running round like lunatics are both boys and girls, and the children wandering around chatting to friends or playing imaginatively are both boys and girls.
2. Schools have changed since we brought in Ofsted and SATs and children have far fewer opportunities for fun. I’d like to do more movement breaks with my class but that’s strongly discouraged at my school. As is fidgeting. I know plenty of adults who struggle to sit still and listen with their hands still in their laps so it doesn’t seem fair to expect this of children.
3. Boys are failed when teachers (and parents) expect less of them. They are perfectly capable - for the most part - of being kind, respectful, neat and hardworking.

Rough and tumble - ie fighting. Tell us why you think fighting should not be banned in school?

(I know cos I am also one! The struggle is real and I can only work part time. Movement is actually what helps me!)

These are still nurtured expectations rather than nature.

I think this is correct but I also think that girls learn not to be active from a social perspective, earlier.

it’s getting better since the lionesses etc

Every day thanks and there isn't much difference. The girls are running about and playing things like tag and chase just as much as the boys. There are also plenty of boys who enjoy playing quieter games, picking flowers, doing imaginative play etc.

Age old question, nature or nurture. Whichever it is, many boys still miss out.

I would say that in those schools where 'rough and tumble' is prevented, it's probably down to parents complaining.

I have learned due to this thread it is not banned in all schools, it's called play fighting but in some schools it is banned.

To a point - the fine motor difficulties are definitely more pronounced in boys. I’ve spoken to many OTs about this. Also speech delays.

There are children of either sex doing both. My experience in many schools is that it is still majority of boys playing differently from majority of girls.

It’s all nature first then nurture.

But the right nurture is needed for the nature.

My experience differs greatly, perhaps it is regional.

Of course play fighting should not be allowed in school, it's school, not a gladiator training ground

Why not arrange play fights in your private time op? You could host play fight play dates? make sure your first aid kit is up to date, might be popular you never know.

You might not see it but when stats say consistently boys are not doing as well in school as they should something is wrong.

It is allowed in many schools

change school then

Structured sport with rules is a perfectly acceptable outlet for boys and girls.
By year 3/4, most children learn to play according to rules and that violence towards others is unacceptable. The exception would be unmet SEND needs.

Both girls and boys who still use violence in their play when they do not get their way with other kids, have to be sanctioned.

This in bucketfuls!
I spent last year teaching in EYFS. I was really sad to see children being negative towards other children around the choices they would make in their play. For example, one boy wanted to put on an Elsa dress from the dressing up box, so I helped him. Several other children commented about him not being a girl so he couldn’t wear a dress. When a girl wanted to play in the construction area, often boys would not let them join in. Boys would push girls out of the way on the climbing equipment. Staff spent half their time modelling appropriate behaviours (and addressing inappropriate ones). These children arrive in school with these gendered behaviours already entrenched.

On what?