Conflict of interests and dh very cross.

[ComeOVeneer]

I have a bit of a dilemma. DD is at a lovely small primary school. I am the chair of the PTA of said school. It had for a few years a low intake but this year it was oversubscribed for the Sept intake.

ANyway the headteacher wants me to speak at the open day, attend coffee mornings etc to ensure the following years intake is good again.

Here is my dilemma. DS will be in that years intake. We live a fair distance from the school. DD got in there because she started mid year and there were spaces. She will have moved on to another school across the road when ds starts so the sibling rule will not apply. DH doesn't want me to help recruite because it may well mean that ds doesn't get into that school. So I am torn between my loyalty to the school and the good of my son.

Now I am not so full of myself to think that I will make such a huge difference to peoples decisions as to wether to apply for the school, but if I sway 1 person and ds misses by 1 place....

Not really looking for answers just wanted to rant a bit!

As a sibling won't he get priority?

No because dd leaves in tehe JUly and he starts in the Sept so he won't have a sibling there.

when do you fill in the forms? Id do then today while he has a sibling there;)

Talk to the headteacher about it.

Tell her about your conflict of interest. Say that you cannot recruit unless you are sure your own DS will get a place. She'll understand (unless she is really very dim).

A tricky one - the only solution really is just to keep your speech strictly to what the PTA does - the events you've had, what the money raised is spent on. And just be very concise - "We held a quiz night in May" rather than "we all had a fantastic evening in May when the quiz night was a great opportunity for the parents to make new friends..." etc. So talk about the role of a PTA rather than the social opportunities etc. Most schools have a PTA so just learning that one exists at your school won't on its own sway a new parent.

I had a similar conflict as a parent governor: when DS2 moved on, DS3 didn't get a place and went to the neighbouring school. I stayed as a PG, and the 2 schools merged after a year, but it felt very odd.

Would your child have got in this year when it was oversubscribed? Or would you have been too far away? If you're seriously worried your ds wouln't get in then I wouldn't speak. As you say I can't see that you talking at open day and coffee mornings would make that much difference - not demeaning your abilities here!!

Keep zip and just say " Hmm nice school."

I see where you are coming from. I think in your situation i would feel conflicted too. Of course if you were really ruthless you could do the presentation and do it badly

Completely off topic, but just looked at your profile and those cakes are amazing !

Ds wouldn't have got in this year when it was oversubscribed. I don't think I can do the forms yet and I think the sibling rule is only taken into account if the children are there at the same time, not if there is a child at the time of applying.

The places are not allocated by the school so the head couldn't influence/promise me I would get a place for ds.

As I said in my OP I know me talking to potential parents in not going to make a huge difference, but it will be horrid doing it thinking it may be affecting ds's future.

Thanks schilke.

Explain the situation to the head teacher and say under the circumstances you don't feel you can do the talk. I'm sure she will see your point. Do you have a decent alternative school?

First thing I would do is speak to the Head. I wouldn't tell her what your husband said though.

I think it is quite sad that people are advising you to basically not help the school as you might not get anything for it.

There is a decent alternative school, but it is big, this school only has 5 classes in total which I think would be much better for ds. Also as dd would be at the school across the road the school run would be easy. If he went to the other school one child is going to be late every day as they start at the same time and it is a fair drive between the 2.

But NAB, it isn't that I'm not getting anything for it, I could effectively be shooting myself in the foot.

I didn't become the chair of the PTA to "get" anything, lod knows it is a pretty thankless job. I don't expect to be given any special treatment because of it, but I also have to think about what is best for my child.

Oh, I see that but if you weren't on the PTA you wouldn't have any influence anyway. And you don't know but you do have knmowledge now that it may be a problem which is why you need to speak to the Head. She may be sympathetic and be able to reassure you.

And you don't now....

I know it is hard but you can try and sort it out.

I think the fact that one child will be late everyday if your DS doesn't get in would certainly be looked at if you appealed a LEA decision re places.

But surely loads of parents struggle to get their children to different school on time?

True. Why not say you love the school and really want your son to go too and is there anything she can do to help if she thinks it is going to be oversubcribed?

The more children the school has. the more money they get - even one more child makes a difference to the budget, which would benefit your DS

It won't benfit him if he isn't there.

I think I will do that NAB. No harm in asking!

can't she help if you need to appeal?

I don't know tbh, I now nothing about appeals, and hope I don't need to learn!