Conflict of interests and dh very cross.

[ComeOVeneer]

I have a bit of a dilemma. DD is at a lovely small primary school. I am the chair of the PTA of said school. It had for a few years a low intake but this year it was oversubscribed for the Sept intake.

ANyway the headteacher wants me to speak at the open day, attend coffee mornings etc to ensure the following years intake is good again.

Here is my dilemma. DS will be in that years intake. We live a fair distance from the school. DD got in there because she started mid year and there were spaces. She will have moved on to another school across the road when ds starts so the sibling rule will not apply. DH doesn't want me to help recruite because it may well mean that ds doesn't get into that school. So I am torn between my loyalty to the school and the good of my son.

Now I am not so full of myself to think that I will make such a huge difference to peoples decisions as to wether to apply for the school, but if I sway 1 person and ds misses by 1 place....

Not really looking for answers just wanted to rant a bit!

and if you ds doesnt get in, you prsumably will give up your PTA work.

my dh would have the same pov as your husband, btw

I think you should just explain your situation to the head teacher.

Its a real tough one isn't it

on the one hand I agree with NAB, but I have to be 100% honest and say I'd want to be selfish and not bag the extra children, to ensure my DS had a place - sorry, but its true.

What is your relationship like with the Head? Is there any way she could help with securing DS a place at the school? I bet she'd be sorry to lose you if DS didn't get in: would you want to continue with PTA if you didn't have a child at teh school, or would you "move" to the PTA at new school?

P.S. I am in absolute awe of your cakes [jaw drops]

If my ds doesn't get in once dd has left I can't be a member of the PTA. I guess I should make an appt to see the head.

As someone who looked around schools in the last year or so I can say absolutely that the person doing the talks etc does make a difference. If you are (as you sound) warm, friendly, helpful, etc then prospective parents will warm to you and have warm feelings about the school.

Personally I would advise the Head that you will continue to help behind the scenes but that you will not be able to speak because, while you care greatly about the school, you really want DS to go there. She will understand.

Thanks mamaG. Not sure if the head could have any influence. The applications for our LEA are dealt with centrally and they allocate them. Not sure what (if any) involvement the individual schools have.

I don't really know the head that well, she isn't a particularly easy person to chat to. The PTA has raised over £2000 more this year than it did last year (since I started as chair), so I think she probably will miss me if I go, especially as it is really hard to get people to volunteer to do thankless jobs like this.

"I don't really know the head that well, she isn't a particularly easy person to chat to."

She's asked you to do the talk, just tell her why you don't feel you can do it.

"It won't benfit him if he isn't there."

I was going to add maybe you could promise to do the talk next year if your DS gets in, but I thought maybe it sounded a little too calculating....

Soupy that was in response to MamaG who asked what my relationship was like with the head and wether she might help securing ds a place.

do you know how many children there are in the catchment area for when your ds starts? at the nursery etc., are the birth rates lower by any chance?

No idea. How would I find out?

sorry, no idea how you would find out
apart from word of mouth

You could call your local authority education dept and find out how many applicant put the school as their first choice. I think that may be a good starting point. Also then to call the school and find out how many are on the waiting list.

The term 'oversubscribed' can be misleading because it accounts for all 1st 2nd and 3rd preferences.

hth

i thinkj that information is in your schools admissions book, from lea

Is your dd going to the junior school on an 'adjoining site'?
If so your ds will get into the school under the sibling rule.
Well, this is how it worked at our school. I applied for dd to join the infant school, ds had moved on to the junior school across the park.
According to the LEA this counted as 'sibling at school on adjoining site' and as they are aware parents cannot be at two places at once, dd and lots of her contemporaries got priority under this sibling rule.

Hope this rule applies to you, check with the LEA.

Scrumptious cakes btw! Truly stunning!

Our LA doesn't follow that rule - if you happen to live in a catchment area that has infant and junior schools as opposed to one primary, they are treated separately - attending the linked infant school is a lower criterion than living in catchment for admission to the junior school and the sibling rule doesn't apply between the schools - last year 3 children who had siblings at the junior school I work at were refused places at the linked infant school and only two of them got in on appeal.

They have developed a system by which the child can move to the junior school having been at the infant school in the last year. However the sibling rule does not soan over the 2 schools.

Difficult one! I think I would speak to the head, and talk about your worries about your ds.

I presume appeals are heard by the governors - so presumably if your ds didn't get in, they might be able to let him in on grounds of something like 'established relationship with the school', 'knows the school through sister and mum', 'very distressing not to get in' or something like that.

Or you could print the wrong school address on any literature you send out to prospective parents!

You should have a word with teh head and say what you're worried about.

You are chair of the PTA and I do think it's unfair for you to have that position if you feel unable to promote the school to all due to favouritism (no matter how understandable) towards your ds.

I thought the sibling rule had already been scrapped? Certainly when offered DD's school place last year it was made clear to us that the sibling rule would not influence whether we later get a place for any younger siblings (fingers crossed for DS...)

It depends on the area - some give siblings higher priority, some don't

I don't think you do have a real conflict of interest. I think its a self-chosen self-perceived conflict.

We can't control the whole world

Basically you're in a role which reflects your current position, ie PTA member, child at school.

Life moves on all the time.

I would say to the Head that with DD moving on before DS can benefit from the sibling rule, that your personal interests are best served by the wider catchment of less competition, so you might not be the best person to be out recruiting!

On the other hand, if you don't do it someone else will, the school was already oversubscribed last year and may well be again, so your community networking will be neither here nor there...and if you do it, you have the option to do it in your own special way:

"I'm a dentist - we on the PTA have adopted the 'no pain, no gain' approach to fundraising - everyone is expected to undertake the nasty but necessary tasks. NO exceptions!"
"Daaaahlings, if you get to be on the special committee with peopel like me you may find all sorst of special favours pop up that the rif raff sin=mply aren't aware of"
"The school has beeen doing extremely well since we learned to work the Ofsted system - I mean it's all about house prices really, isn't it? Primary education is hardly rocket science, as long as most of them can read they should be ok"