My daughter will be the only girl in her school year

[Ilovemysoil]

My 4 yr old daughter is starting primary school in September - we are really happy with the school but for one problem. The school year is small, only 8 in the class. My daughter will be the only girl. I'm not sure how I feel about this and my husband isn't either. Whilst she is an outgoing child and has a few boy friends at nursery, I'm more worried about as she gets older as girls and boys naturally develop different interests.

We've spoken to the headteacher and she was reassuring and gave a few options as to how to ensure she doesn't feel left out - but it is nagging at me. Even if there was only one other girl I would feel much better.

My questions is - what would others do? Would you consider another school?

@TizerorFizz did you mean to @ me? I agree with everything you said except perhaps your first sentence. It's happening thick and fast around London.

@Blomama Probably tired! Apologies. However I’ve noted CofE schools have expanded in my LA and leave some other schools short of pupils. There are ones that have kept two small infants schools open near to each other and a third former infants has become a junior school. This is an expensive model with three schools very near each other with two heads and three buildings. The junior school now competes for pupils with the nearby primary school that it used to feed. CofE is keen to preserve their interests but not support neighbouring primary schools. Lots of rural CofE infants have expanded to primary where there wasn’t any pressure on places. It seems very unplanned. One of the infant schools above has 42 pupils, so 14 per year. These schools are quite a luxury..

Hi, sorry to jump on here but my daughter has just started junior infants this year and is the only girl with 6 other boys. Juniors and seniors are in the same room. Some girls are in senior but they will move to the next room next year. She is very shy and anxious hence why we started her in a small school. My other daughter is nearly finished in primary school but her class was 25 students. From the sounds of it I hear people are saying the smaller classes are great. I am already seeing the boys and parents bond much more. I think I’m just looking for some advice or reassurance please.🙏

@Mumsy2025 Small isn’t great when it’s too small? How will she make friends? I’d be moving on - 25 is a nice number.

What year is 'junior infants'? That's not a term I'm familiar with.

Didn’t see this before but our primary school (I’m a governor) had 15 girls and 1 boy in one class. No rhyme or reason to it.

Will she be able to play or work with girls in other years?

My kids would hate it.

Never understand why parents think these tiny classes are a good things

Purposely chose a two form entry for ours after my bad experience at a tiny village school - not enough kids for any sort of social experience. Would no way leave my Dd
as the only girl. How crap will that be for her?

@howshouldibehaveSchools can be labelled like this (JMI was junior mixed infants) or Primary or Combined or just Village School. Essentially it means YR to y6. So it’s tiny. Around 50 dc I would think. Probably should close!

My daughter is the only girl in her school year. It’s fine as she has friends with the girls the year below and it’s not obvious that they are different ages. They are in a mixed age class.

My worry is at comprehensive school she will be going there alone. But I can’t control that now so trying to put it from my mind.

It's P1 or Reception (age 4-5). So the first year of school after pre-school. Senior Infants is P2 or Year 1 (5-6).

I was the only girl in my class of 5 at a very small school, one teacher took 3 year groups. It was fine in junior and senior infants but I really noticed it when I got to age 5 or 6. The girls in the other classes became firm friends and I was on the outside as I didn't sit with them and could only play at break time. I didn't want the same for my daughter so she is in a mixed class of 28 and loving it.

@Mumsy2025 we decided to go ahead with our chosen school. The headteacher announced in August that the preschool and reception years would merge, so there is now 15 in our daughter's class with 5 girls and 10 boys. Our daughter is loving school, and so are we! I like the small number of pupils, she has bonded with one of the girls and one of the boys in particular. From how you describe your daughter's temperament, a small class is right for her and in time she will form friendships.

The gender imbalance still plays on my mind from time to time - as although her class is bigger, in reality she is still the only girl in her age group, but time will tell. Our daughter has made friends with some yr1 girls at after-school club and at playtime, so we're happy with the situation for now.

My overall advice to you is see how it goes! And on the bonding thing - it might be you've got to take the reins on organising some social activities outside of school so your daughter isn't left out - a picnic in the local park is always a good shout. We're doing another one soon with our daughter's class.

Hope that has helped - I'm glad I ignored all the unhelpful comments from some other posters on here - you know your daughter the best 🙂

@MariaDingbat thank you for the explanation-is it a Scottish term? I have taught EYFS/KS1 (in England) for nearly 30 years and have never heard it before!

I would consider another school. A large part of primary school is about social development, and to miss out on the opportunity for same sex friendships that is a standard and happy part of so many children’s childhood development is irreplaceable in my opinion.

How are you getting on with this?

I read this thread back in September, as we found ourselves in the same situation. My daughter is the only girl in a class of 6.

It has been going okay, in that she mentioned it on her first couple of days of school and then seemed not to notice. But recently she has been coming back and saying "nobody will play with her at school" because the 'boys' say she can't play because she's a girl.

My heart breaks hearing that, and I don't know if it is a phase they'll move over, or something we should be acting on.

Would be good to hear how you've found it?

@stephthemum sorry to hear that about your daughter. I haven't heard my daughter say anything about the boys not playing with her so I can't offer any advice to you, unfortunately. Although, I think in that situation I would be asking the teachers if they had observed any behaviours or heard any comments from the other children. School is still going well for us. I had hoped that at least one girl would join the reception class later in the year but it hasn't happened yet. My daughter goes to after school club with plenty of girls so I wonder if this is helping. I've signed her up for brownies too. Does your daughter have any opportunity to mix with other girls in the school? Might be worthwhile exploring this with her teachers too.

Personally, as a former primary headteacher of a small school I would not have put my daughter in a reception class with no other girls. There is not enough social, emotional and academic support or challenge. Just playing with girls after school from different classes is not the same as building relationships day by day. When the girls from other classes move on, you are left alone again.
Boys tend to have different interests and learning styles.
However the OP seems to think dissenting voices were unhelpful, so I can only say I speak as I found with many years of experience.

I moved my DD out of her school partly due to being the only girl. She did reception and year 1 then I moved her from year 2. When I had some of the boys from her class round for play dates it was obvious they had very little in common and didn't really seem to enjoy playing together. Since moving her, her social development has progressed massively. Also so has her academic achievements, she has competition from other girls in subjects they are all interested in- this is what she reports (in different words obviously) and also reported by her teacher in parents evening

Thank you for sharing your perspective. However, the decision has already been made, so I’m genuinely unclear how stating what you would or wouldn’t have done is intended to be helpful at this point.

Not all dissenting comments are unwelcome — constructive challenge can be very useful — but it does rather depend on whether it moves the discussion forward or simply revisits a decision that can’t now be changed. It may be worth rereading the whole thread from my perspective as the OP and consider whether all comments would feel helpful in that context.

Schools, cohorts and children are all very different, and experiences from one small school — even with many years in the profession — can’t really be assumed to translate directly to another setting. Education, classroom practice and pastoral support have also evolved considerably over time.

While I respect that you “speak as you found”, others may reasonably find differently, and a single factor such as gender balance does not automatically determine social, emotional or academic outcomes. At this stage, comments that question a settled decision don’t add much beyond hindsight — which, as we all know, is a luxury rather than a solution.

I was replying to Stephthemum who was seeking another perspective I thought.

Also I am up to date with current practice.

I was also giving my opinion to @stephthemum . As I explained I had a similar experience with my DD.

To be fair I thought this was quite obvious. I'm not sure why the OP seems to have taken offence that you responded to the other posters query.

For what it’s worth, I see this happening in the playground at my children’s infant school (I help out on lunch duties). There are 5 boys/ 1 girl in the y2 class and 6 boys/1 girl in the reception class. Year 1 class has 50/50 boys and girls.

It’s amazing how seperate the boys and girls play with zero influence from teachers / same toys and equipment available to them etc. It’s entirely their preference to mostly play as boy and girl groups (with a small amount of mixing here and there).

After watching the same pattern for the past 5 years I wouldn’t put my daughter in an all-boy class unless the other school options around me were completely dire. It’s must be very lonely emotionally to be surrounded by children you don’t completely click with. Obviously there are exceptions and I can think of a couple of boy/girl best friends but the risk of that not happening and my daughter being lonely and feeling out of place would be too high for me personally. The two girls from y2 and reception do play with the girls from y1 but they aren’t part of the core gang and also often play by themselves.

is your daughter moving to a junior school for yr3-6 or will she part of the same class all the way through primary?