My daughter will be the only girl in her school year

[Ilovemysoil]

My 4 yr old daughter is starting primary school in September - we are really happy with the school but for one problem. The school year is small, only 8 in the class. My daughter will be the only girl. I'm not sure how I feel about this and my husband isn't either. Whilst she is an outgoing child and has a few boy friends at nursery, I'm more worried about as she gets older as girls and boys naturally develop different interests.

We've spoken to the headteacher and she was reassuring and gave a few options as to how to ensure she doesn't feel left out - but it is nagging at me. Even if there was only one other girl I would feel much better.

My questions is - what would others do? Would you consider another school?

It’s around 50 parents this year, some of which don’t help, and we are on target. So it’s not impossible. Everyone is warned prior to their child starting the school that all families need to pull weight to fundraise, which is through about 6 events throughout the year of varying size.
The largest one makes £7-8k. It’s hard work and I wouldn’t want to do it for too many years running but it’s been an amazing way to integrate into a community and make friends

It sounds like a very elitist school to be honest. Most of the parents of children in my current class would struggle to pay a few quid for non-uniform days over an academic year let alone hundreds. Imagine if you had multiple children at the school.

You don’t pay hundreds…where did I say that?! you are asked to organise and help to run the fundraising events. Some of these events are quite large and raise thousands of pounds for the school.

other money comes from private donations, like there are a couple of wealthy families in the village who have a long standing donation to the school.

anyway my original point was that small schools can offer a lot, but you would have to make sure that this is the case when you look round them and ask how this is done.

I will caveat all this by saying I don’t think beyond y2 a school this small is a good thing. While there are some children who love it beyond this age, there are also a lot who outgrow it and need a wider pool of friends, the feeling of less attention on them, sports teams, etc.

what?

The reality is with only 8 in the year group, it won't remain that way in a normal state school as it won't be financially viable. They will likely be mixed with the year above or the year below. Some small village schools for instance have reception, year 1 and 2 in the same class when the cohorts are so small.

This happened to my younger daughter at our village school. She was fine. She had an older sister in another class, which helped. After a couple of years a new girl came along and they did some things together. But her best friend throughout all of her schooling was a boy called Tom, they had such good fun together and he is still a family friend. She went to dancing class after school with lots of other girls but it wasn’t really her thing.

1 of 8 is very good so if children are nice kids and the school good…wouldn’t move it for another few years!!

But then again you know best mama so if it does annoy you maybe do change.

I world be very worried about the upheaval of the school has to close.

I had one child at a very small school and another at a huge school and i would always choose the largest school possible as it will have so many more resources, opportunities, probably more diversity.

I think you have the right attitude to see how it goes.

People pay an arm and a leg for private schools for small classes.

I think as well that as there’s so many schools parents may start to realise they can get a small class for their child and some parents may want to move school for other reasons and that 8 will grow!

Our local school is exactly the same and there is quite regularly only one boy or girl in the class although there are never more than 8 in a class. Our school mix with either the year above or below depending on how many are in each class.

Another thing to remember is that children move in and out of the school all the time so she may not always be on her own. My friends daughter was the only girl with 3 boys, they are all in their 20's now and are all still best friends so it's not always a bad thing.

There’s only 16 in the entire school
for my dc. Two teachers. One TA. It’s not the smallest school in the county either!

The school's solution seems like it's worth giving a try, especially as the small class size will have its own benefits! I would consider signing her up for something like Rainbows if they have it locally so that she can meet and spend time with other girls her age on a regular basis.

i wouldn’t worry too much about it my DD8 doesn’t really like the girls in her class they play silly games she prefers playing with the boys.

The school's idea is a good one. Small schools mix age groups often so she should find girls. Although I will say both ds had best friends that were girls in their school. For those saying they cannot believe small schools exist, they do, they have qualified teachers, they do all the things kids do in bigger schools and they get the same opportunities. Our small school of 50 pupils is vital to our community and brings our community together.

We had similar but my DS was one of 7 in the class. Only one girl a d I tell you that girl was the queen of the class. Never bullied and has 5 fine young men who were always there for her as she went through school. They are now in secondary school and barring one boy who moved away all the boys still keep in touch with each other and still look out for this girl. She still got to mix with girls in the other year groups. So trips etc and in the playground she still spent time with girls. I remember my DS coming back so angry one day because the boys had found out that a girl in the year above had said something mean to her during break. That day all those boys made it clear to her that she was perfect as she was and that if she had any problems they'd always be there. When they had their mini prom/disco leaving primary school the boys chose not to vote for prom king because they didn't need one. They were happy with their prom queen being centre of attention.
Last September She went to a different secondary school then all the boys who were split between two others. But as the boys didn't start till two days later they walked her to school. Even now two of them walk along from their school to meet her after school each night and she goes out on days out with them often. On the flip side she was a lovely girl who supported all those boys in almost a maternal way. If any of them aced up she could calm them in an instant.

Honestly I would jump at the chance of your daughter going to this school. Being the only girl doesn't matter she will be perfectly fine. Most kids are struggling in classes of 30+ these kinds of places are few and far between. I wouldn't knock it at all. Sounds like the head is more than willing to support you through this. Your daughter will love it. Trust me.

I would scrimp and save and go without and start her off at a private school. I did that myself, and it was well worth it.

Now, of course the government have added VAT to fees and you still have to pay for state education.They have small classes, and she won't grow up being outnumbered.

In a class of just 8 she will get lots of attention and the teacher will have no difficulty watching them all.

Ask the school if there will be 8 in the class each year. It could be they might be able to have another girl join the class later.

As an ex HT of a primary school I wouldn't send my child in to this situation. The numbers are too small for her to have good social groupings. If she's bright she may not have academic equals to work with and talk to. Boys tend to have different interests and learning styles to girls, and schools with small classes like these tend to attract more special needs children, which reduces her choice of playmates and friends more.
Of course the HT will be reassuring because she will want the numbers to be maintained in the school. But I have seen this situation many times, and personally I wouldn't risk it.

I know parents see small classes as a major benefit, but actually it really isn't always.

I have had 3 children go through a relatively small primary school - all have had differing class sizes. Eldest’s class hovered around 24/25, middle’s was 32/33, youngest’s was until the end of year 4 only 18/19 - after this the school said it was unsustainable to keep such a small class and it was split in half and mixed with the years above and below.

I have found the best case scenario for numbers has been the class with 24/25. It was the perfect amount for friendships but not too much for the teacher to deal with effectively.

Unnaturally they develop those different interests. Society develops them for them.

We had similar, and chose to choose a different school. So I would move schools. It's a shame, but she needs to be able to mix, especially when they reach the last few years and are starting periods etc and to prepare for a larger secondary in my opinion.

@Gagamama2 Parents told they must fund raise!! They are warned!!! That’s utterly awful and probably against admissions protocols as it’s discriminatory. Talk about making some parents feel like second class citizens. So much for community cohesion. Community one upmanship more like. We look down on you etc (the old Cleese, Barker, Corbett sketch on The Frost Report!)

Err ok…not sure why you are getting your knickers in a twist over something that doesn’t affect you in the slightest.

we live in a rural area. Each village has its own infant school. They are only 10 mins drive between each one, so you can choose which to send your child to. We chose the tiny school in our village over one of the other bigger ones because it aligned with what we feel is important when a tiny 4 year old is starting school. It is basically like a big extended family. The kids are incredibly well supported and do a wide range of activities each day. Were we .(or any of the other families at the school) forced to choose this school? No. Would I have chosen it for beyond infant school? No. But I am completely happy to give up some of my time to fundraise if it means my 4-7 year old children effectively get a tiny, nurturing, private school-feel start to their school life, for free.

Ive read lots of posts on here asking for advice when their child hates going into school, is overwhelmed by class size, is suffering bullying that isn’t dealt with properly, etc etc. Personally I think a lot of these issues wouldn’t crop up if class sizes were much smaller than 30, because what one teacher can really give 30 children enough time?? But obviously that is not going to happen anytime soon as funding to schools would need to be doubled. A school like the one my youngest go to has found a way to avoid that issue, by combining gov funding with fundraising. I can’t complain about class sizes and then not embrace the alternative that is literally on my front doorstep.

From my experience as a mum-of-3 who have all been to small primary schools, there's lots of movement and over the years you will probably find another girl starts in her year, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. She will mix with the girls older and younger than her too, so it will be fine.