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School move for one sibling – Anyone been in this position?

27 replies

TiffanyAtBreakfast · 01/05/2025 06:48

Hi all,
We’re thinking of moving our Year 4 son to a new school and would really appreciate any thoughts or similar experiences.

He was happy in Years R–2 with lots of friends, but since last year he’s become increasingly isolated. He’s not into football like most of the boys, and has gone from being included to being totally left out—no party invites, ignored messages when I try to arrange playdates, and often spends breaks reading alone. He has one friend, but that child sometimes joins in excluding him too.

His teacher is lovely and acknowledged he’s struggling socially, but efforts to buddy him up with someone haven’t materialised. He’s outgoing and friendly, and has great friendships outside school (e.g. Cubs, NCT group), so it just feels like something about this class dynamic isn’t working.

There’s also a classmate who has actually been bullying him and physically hurts him in the classroom right under the teacher’s nose. Things have improved slightly since Easter due to the child moving onto a behaviour plan, but I don’t feel like my son is safe in the class, if I’m honest.

The problem is, our daughter (Y2) is very happy at the school and would be heartbroken to move. The new school may have space for her, but she’s very resistant. The logistics of two schools—same finish time, different inset days, two sets of dates to remember etc —would be tough.

Has anyone moved one child but not the other? It feels drastic but I hate the thought of my
son enduring two more years like this. I’m telling myself that when he moves to year 7 we will be doing the two separate drop offs anyway, so might as well start now… 😖

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
espresso14 · 02/05/2025 14:41

I moved eldest and kept youngest where they were, no regrets (although would like to move youngest, but he refuses). Schools very, very close to each other, and once at year 5, eldest could walk down to the other school and meet there. Or went to childminder round corner from the other school after school club. Year 5&6 are hard work in terms of academics, you don't want playtime to be hard work too.

Football can get nasty whether you play football or not. There are children who's parents are so insanely competitive for them, which includes putting others' down. And that translates into the school playground.

WeaselsRising · 02/05/2025 15:15

We had 4 DC in 4 different schools for about 2 years!

I would always do what suits each child rather than moving one because I've moved the other. DC1&2 managed the whole of primary in the same school but we moved DC3 and DC4 (to 2 different schools) when each of them finished Y2 for various reasons.

As long as you can physically manage the school run, the rest will just slot in.

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