School choice worries

[Mimipoop]

My son has just started reception and is struggling emotionally, I know this is fairly normal but can’t help but think I made a mistake sending him to such a big school (two form entry with 30 kids in each). He also tells me the teacher is putting on cartoons during the day (is this normal?) he doesn’t seem to be doing phonics or anything like that (early days I know).

it’s sort of made worse because on the next street is a lovely private school (we walk past every day too and from school) and I know one of the mums. She tells me there’s only 10 children in the class and her son is thriving there with no problems settling in at all because the class is so chilled and small. He’s getting lots of 1-2-1 teacher time and they do phonics and maths in the morning. She has a chance to speak to the teacher every day for little updates which must be so helpful.

im just feeling like perhaps I should be doing some home learning because I feel like mine will get lost amongst all those children. I do read lots of books already but nothing else. Has anyone tried any subscriptions? I’ve been looking at cubie maths and the bear can read.

thanks 😊

He will be doing phonics soon, if he's not already and not realising it .. its learning through play!
60 is an average sized school... he is still in a class of 30!It looks massive now, but it will be normal in no time.

And the teacher will know him in no time. My youngest has just left Primary... the head teacher could call every child by name, and remember any older siblings and greet them by name!

Thank you, I suppose I just don’t know what he does in the day. There’s no chance to speak to the teacher (obviously) because drop off and pick up is so manic

While small classes might be helpful for some things, there are significant downsides to them as well. If a child is in a class of 10 and didn't particularly gel with others in the class, or worse was bullied by any of them, there is no opportunity for getting away from it or making other friends. In a class of 30 and having another 30 to see at playtimes he's got lots of potential friends and can avoid anyone he doesn't get along with so well.

@AvocadoSurprise yes that’s a good point, I also thought a bigger school would make tradition to high school easier.

im still concerned that he will be overlooked educationally. Surely a child will learn more as a group of 10 with two teachers than a group of 30 with two teachers?

also his class is interconnected so it’s basically a giant class of 60 kids 😢

Just feeling very much like I’ve made a mistake

60 in a year is not a big school.

10 is (IMO) too small a class- really restricts the option to find friends particularly if there is a girl/boy imbalance.

It takes most Reception children a while to settle, I would suggest your friend's child settling quickly is down to her child's personality more than the school.

Reading is great at this age. Also take him to lots of places, play board games, do cooking. Steaming ahead with phonics a week into term is unnecessary.

Common in first week or so to focus on getting to know the children and supporting them in their play/class routines. Phonics will start soon. 30 children is standard but staff get to know each child pretty quickly.

At this age, in many countries, kids just play at school. If your kid is having emotional problems, have a chat with the teacher and they will put something in place to help. Focus on happiness and not education at this stage.

@redskydarknight her boy has ASD so she wasn’t expecting such a good settling in period. The small class size is definitely better for them.

60 definitely feels a lot at the moment but I know I need to give it time.

im not really planning on steaming ahead with phonics - I’ve done absolutely nothing like that with mine at all, I don’t even recite the alphabet but have done a bit of counting.

im just thinking perhaps I should do a bit at home, not much but 5 - 10 mins a day

@DadJoke thanks but there is zero chance that I can speak to the teacher - she’s too busy

First couple of weeks is settling them into school routines but they will be learning. Do they not do an introduction to reception or meet the teacher meeting?

If your teacher said “I am too busy to speak to you” you need to go to the head - that’s simply not allowed. Did you email or speak in person when they said this? It’s incredibly unprofessional.

I’ve had two kids at state schools and that has literally never happened. You need to advocate for your DS.

@Changeiscomingthisyear there is a presentation coming up perhaps I’ll find out more then.

im just worried as he’s started hitting fighting spitting - never had this during preschool

@DadJoke no I haven’t asked but drop off pick up we don’t even exchange words as it’s very quickly onto the next child coming out of class and being handed to the parent

I love big schools. More adults with different experiences and more children to get to know.

From a teaching point of view, it's much better as you have more time to focus on your actual class. In a big school you can be in charge of geography and one assembly a fortnight and one playground duty a week. In a small school you can be doing an assembly a week, playground duty four times a week a week and responsibility for music, maths , D&T and SEN.

It's too early to worry about phonics. The staff will have to focus on the emotional needs of the children as well as routine and toileting. Seventeen of the children won't even be able to get their arms in their coats never mind fasten them. So that's an hour a day.

It's not unusual to have to resort to screens at the beginning like this as unfortunately it's all some children know. They have been comforted by Peppa Pig their whole lives. Also they are exhausted.

In the nicest possible way, try to relax a little. It's only been a couple of weeks, your child has his entire school career ahead of him. He isn't behind with his learning, at the moment it's all about adjusting to school and settling in. Once they are used to the routines, if not already, they will be doing phonics and maths every day. Your child might not even realise that's happening as it's often done through play like activities.

Does the school do any kind of meet the teacher, introduction evening, anything like that? Do you have an email address for the teacher? Are you sure you can't chat to her at the end of the day? The school my children go to will always do a quick chat especially if you ask if it can be for tomorrow or later on in the week.

The school nigh also give you information about how they teach phonics, maths etc at an information meeting. Anything like that coming up?

A 30 student class is totally normal. There will be a teacher and a TA in the reception class, so it's 1 to 15 not 1 to 30 for adult to child ratios.

When you say he's hitting, spitting, fighting do you mean at school or at home with you?

They don't have time to have an individual chat with every single parent every day. If you're worried about your child, then ask to have a chat when they've finished handover. It's likely that there will be a parents' evening come up soon if you don't have specific queries.

So phone the school and make an appointment.

Relax a bit. I have a teen and a tween now. But 60 isn’t a big school at all. Of course a small independent is better but I assume you don’t have money for that? Both of mine are in state schools. We just have a parents teacher meeting where the two teachers for the year group introduce themselves. From that meeting you will learn how to contact the teachers about concerns. Pick up and drop offs are bad time to chat because it’s so manic. They can arrange other time to meet you.

We had phonics and maths meetings early on in reception for parents. It is where you learn the expectations from the school to you on how to support your child. If it’s a good school all these will come in time.

Do you have a year group WhatsApp group? They are very useful and you can ask questions there. There must be many in the group with older siblings in the school. They will know how the school works.

@SilenceInside it’s at home (as far as I know!)

And agree with the poster who mention the benefit of friendship groups in a larger primary. Both DC fell out with friends and managed to found a new groups of friends. DC1 problem lasted nearly a year and the lovely teacher moved her to be in a different class to her bully and she thrived after that. She fell out with the queen bee and was ostricised.

@DadJoke i suppose I didn’t want to come across as demanding, it’s only the second week

@savoycabbage thanks. I must admit I’m really disappointed and surprised by the screens - I expected much better. I try to limit tv at home and we don’t have iPads or anything.

@SummerBarbecues thanks, I know I should relax but I feel like I could have done better and picked a better school. Feeling very much like I’ve failed him