School choice worries

[Mimipoop]

My son has just started reception and is struggling emotionally, I know this is fairly normal but can’t help but think I made a mistake sending him to such a big school (two form entry with 30 kids in each). He also tells me the teacher is putting on cartoons during the day (is this normal?) he doesn’t seem to be doing phonics or anything like that (early days I know).

it’s sort of made worse because on the next street is a lovely private school (we walk past every day too and from school) and I know one of the mums. She tells me there’s only 10 children in the class and her son is thriving there with no problems settling in at all because the class is so chilled and small. He’s getting lots of 1-2-1 teacher time and they do phonics and maths in the morning. She has a chance to speak to the teacher every day for little updates which must be so helpful.

im just feeling like perhaps I should be doing some home learning because I feel like mine will get lost amongst all those children. I do read lots of books already but nothing else. Has anyone tried any subscriptions? I’ve been looking at cubie maths and the bear can read.

thanks 😊

Better to nip it in bud. In what is he unhappy?

I'm sure there will be parents' evening at some point this term; this will give you 1:1 time with the class teacher.

Regarding the screens, schools sometimes use it at home time when the children are waiting to be picked up. Also at break time if it's too wet to go outside. Usually it's things like Numberblocks, Alphablocks or something similarly educational in tone.

Again, if it's concerning you, then you need to ask the teacher/school how they use screens, how often and so on.

He's only just started.
10 is much too small. It often causes friendship issues.
Even 1 form entry can be difficult.
2 is perfect.
At the moment they will be settling in. It's a really important part of the process.

Try not to worry, it's all very early days and a big change for your DC (and you) that will take time to get used to. Add to this that YR children spend much of this term exhausted you often see a downturn in behaviour at home until they get used to the routine.

Practical things you could do might be to make sure he's getting a healthy snack when he's back from school, keeping to a routine at home, cutting down on busy after school activities, getting plenty of fresh air at weekends and getting some early nights.

No need to do any extra work with him apart from reading every day and, when you get it, supporting any phonics or number work that school send a home. Consider making an appointment to chat to his teacher if you are still concerned just to check in on how he is during the day.

Settling in can be down to personalities. One of my DC was in a 3-form entry year and bounced out after Day 1 loving school and with about 16 new friends; my sister's DC went to a village school with 12 in a class and it took several weeks of crying and peeling them off her at drop off.

Is this school a failing school? Is it rating as inadequate or requires improvement? What are their published results like over time on the gov results website?

It's super super early to be deciding that you've failed your child. And it assumes that you can't move your child to a school that you prefer or that you're happy to pay for, if that's your final decision on it.

@SilenceInside it’s rated good, the school itself is impressive and I liked the teachers.

@SilenceInside thabks, I’m honestly shocked that this is a thing. We are told screens are bad for child’s attention. I’m honestly flabbergasted that they show cartoons in school! I will definitely bring it up with the teacher.

i know that it’s hard to get much sense out of 4 year olds (at it is with least mine) but the only thing he says about his day is teacher put on bluey/pawpatrol 😢

@RomainingToBeSeen thanks, we don’t do any extracurricular stuff, we do go to the park and for walks over the weekend. And always walk to and from school. I give him a snack straight away at pick up and something more substantial as soon as we get home, he usually plays or listens to an audiobook then dinner, bath, books bed (the usual). Still hes fighting, spitting, hitting. He sat sobbing in the bath last night 😢

Screens are not the devils work. They are not going to be damaging your child's attention span if they use them during wet playtime, or at pick up time, or some other point in the day for a similar reason.

Of course he's only going to mention the cartoons. My youngest will say "nothing" when I ask him what he did at school. I know that's not true!

Do you think they're sat watching cartoons for long periods each day? I would ask about the school policy on screens and use in classrooms, but honesty it's not likely to be something they're using excessively or inappropriately.

Both of mine went to nursery and pre school. I thought schoo transition would be easy. They were utterly exhausted for the first few weeks.

@SilenceInside i mean this is probably for another thread but there’s lots of science and studies coming out about how bad they are for children.

our preschool was screen free I assumed schools were mostly too. I think cartoons during a wet weather break is a total cop out. There’s plenty to do in wet weather indoors

Ok. I can see this is an important issue for you. I guess you can decide on what your plan will be depending on what the teacher/school tells you about their use of screens. I think if it's something you feel that strongly about then you need to get clarification as soon as possible.

@SilenceInside thanks o think I need to ask this. Honestly I assumed that he was lying when he said they put on cartoons!

Honestly, wait a few weeks before making a huge judgement on the school. The first few weeks of reception are chaotic.

In terms of the hitting/spitting, you do need to talk to someone about this. We were always told if you wanted to speak to the teacher you needed to do it after school (not before) and after they had dismissed the full class. Basically, once they were no longer actively being the teacher to children, which makes sense to me. If your teacher dismisses you without offering a better time to speak, I would contact the office to get an appointment.

Nearly all good schools have classes of 30 (around here, good schools always fill their spaces with kids who will travel for a better school), so there’s no point stressing about that really. It’s just the way it is unfortunately.

A private school will always offer a different style of education which is just a fact. No point dwelling too much unless you can both pay for it and get a space.

"Cartoons" could mean a lot of things... an animation of how something works, or a dance or yoga video to copy, something like alphablocks... or just something for those who need down time while those who aren't tired are playing.

What activities would you give 30 children for 15 minutes remembering it will all need to be tidied away for the activity after break? Book, colouring, one box of Lego or bricks maybe. And a cartoon on the whiteboard. Makes sense to me.

Please listen to what other people are saying and try and relax. What you need for your very young child right now is that he is happy to go to school, is finding his feet socially and getting ready to learn.
All that you described sounds completely normal for the first week of school.
Cartoons could mean anything, could be alphablocks or number blocks which are used as part of learning.
It probably means 10 minutes at the end of the day while they’re wrangling 30 4 year olds and sorting all their stuff. You can mention it to the teacher but it’s unlikely change how she handles her class.

Thirty years ago when I started teaching I would never in a million years have put something on the TV. Not even when it was wet playtime.

Now, it's. Who.e different ball game.

In my first EYFS class there were 26 children with a teacher and a TA. We had no children in nappies and very little pressure on us from SLT. Things were very much child centred. If we saw a butterfly we would learn about butterflies. That sort of thing.

Last term I was in an EYFS class. 39 children with a teacher and two TAs. One of them was changing nappies the whole time. (Not the same person! They swapped) So that's a teacher and one TA with 39 children. So if someone falls over or tips a container or water on themselves that's an adult out of action for five minutes. And I don't know if you have ever looked after 39 four year olds but there is always something happening.

So, before snack or lunch every one of those children has to go to the toilet if they aren't in a nappy and all 39 have to wash their hands. That's half an hour on the carpet. You can read two stories and you can do some singing and you can have an episode of Bluey (7 minutes) and which of those things is the child going to tell their mother about? Bluey.

The behaviour of children now is completely different from when I started teaching. Some children are arriving non verbal because nobody is taking any notice of them. Many haven't a clue how to play. There is a lot of defiance. It can be a massive shock to some dc being in this environment where they aren't getting their own way all of the time and they have to do unfamiliar things like sitting with their legs crossed and listening to the Three Little Pigs.

The first week or two is often a settling in period, getting to know everyone etc before the real structure begins.

Ask the teacher what the cartoons are and how long they are on for before jumping to conclusions; there’s a good chance he’s watching an episode or two of an educational programme like Alpha Blocks or Number Blocks rather than Scooby Do.

Above all, Reception is about learning through play. He will think he’s playing and having fun and not even realising that he’s absorbing phonics and numbers etc, mark making, etc.

Ask the office what the process is for communicating with the teachers. Our school uses the app SeeSaw or email, whereas I’ve heard of another app called Class Dojo (I think).

Also, my niece is in a private primary and there are two classes of 12 pupils. She is having a very hard time making friends so small class numbers can have their drawbacks as there simply isn’t the number of potential friends and if you don’t click/gel with some, or attract the attention of the school bully, then your school day isn’t going to be looking so great.

Is this coming from your extensive experience of keeping 30-60 4 year olds safe and well and entertained during their 3rd wet playtime of the day?? With perhaps only 2-3 adults.
Looking after your 4 year old at home is not the same as looking after 30 other peoples 4 year olds in a classroom.

Cartoons are probably for wet playtimes? For learning they might put something cartoonish on the smart board like a jolly phonics song but if it’s Bluey or similar I doubt it’s during actual lessons. FWIW my DD’s tiny private pre prep also did cartoons over wet breaks, which to your other point about your mate’s kid and the class of 10 we actually left that school for Y3 because the tiny classes were too limiting for friendships and sports. Also, give your DS time to settle and don’t pile on the pressure with home learning from week 2!

They watch educational cartoons too. Phonics cartoon is very effective.

There was no tv in my primary school. I’m really surprised by it. I don’t understand why it’s used honestly

unless you are financially prepared already for 13 years of private education you should stop comparing to a private school
comparison won’t help

2/3 form entry schools are able to have dedicated art, music,PE, Spanish teachers, whereas single form entry schools will have less specialist teachers.

did you look at the school your child attends? Did you like what you saw?
is it well rated in ofsted.
if so.
you don’t need to worry about phonics.
it’s happening.
they are just a couple of weeks into the new year. And want your kid to be settled and receptive to learning .