Youngest in the year - reception

[yaboreme]

Hi,

I was just looking to see how things are/ turned out for any of you that had summer born children who started school at 4.

My son was 4 in August and I'm really worried that I made the wrong decision to send him to reception after only turning 4, 2 weeks prior to the start of the school year.

He's emotionally a little behind and is a little behind his peers with reading, writing etc but I have been assured that he knows the concept of simple math and is very enthusiastic to learn.

My concern is that he may have benefited from an additional year to be 5 when he started to be of a more similar age to his peers.

Am I worrying about nothing? Or should I enquire about resitting reception (if that's another option).

Hopefully this makes sense.

Thank you

2 of my DD’s friends are both late august babies. I have to say all the kids found reception difficult at times, no matter when they were born. It’s a whole new environment even if they’ve been to nursery before.

They’re in year 2 now and honestly you wouldn’t be able to tell which ones were September or August babies. They all catch up with each other, they all have their strengths and weaknesses.

If he’s settled I would think really carefully about pulling him out, especially as he’s only weeks away from summer hols and then starting year 1. I think it would disruptive and upsetting to see his friend group move up and he’s stuck in reception again.

@Cadela thank you so much for your reply.

I know it's too late really, I just can't help feeling I've done him a disservice. Pulling him now isn't a good idea, he has made a little friendship group and that goes a long way.

Thanks again for the reassurance.

Honestly, he will be fine. What you've described is normal for all reception children at some point, regardless of when they were born.

FWIW, both my children are late August babies. My son in particular sounded a bit how you've described your son. Once he got used to it he thrived, they both did. He's in the first year of uni now and she's final year of A levels (less than a year between them). They've grown into confident teens. You haven't done him a disservice, he will be absolutely fine and before you know it he will be in Year 1 and storming through!

@AncoraAmarena thank you for taking the time to reply.

It's good to hear that both of your children were in the same position and doing well. I just want the very best for him as all parents do and it has been a worry since he started.

Thanks

My youngest was an August baby and is in the final year at med school.

I was born on 31st August, went to school at 4 like my DC, and I've turned out okay too!

Mine is August and he's thriving, too group for phonics and loves learning. He does seem young emotionally but more in that the class politics go over his head so I don't think it's a bad thing. Some of the kids who were held back seem enormous and the expectation on them is higher.

If you had decided to defer, you could have been sitting here worrying your child had outgrown the nursery, seemed a lit older than the others and was bored!

The truth is, none of us have a crystal ball and know which choice was best. We can only trust we made the right one.

If you are anything like me though... you will be looking at your Secondary school child wondering if you made the right choice! I think we did (we didn't defer) but there's been some hiccups along the way.... dyslexiano speech delay making the early years difficult, losing several months of school to Covid, a period out of school due to no school places after we moved... but overall, she's happy and she's doing well.

I do think my summer child was too young and would have benefitted from going later. But I think that about my winter one too. They all just start so young here compared to many other countries. I didn't consider deferring.

I have an October child (one of the oldest in her class) and an August child (the youngest in her class). Ironically the August child is way ahead of the rest of her class with reading, writing and maths but socially she is very young (and she looks so young too). My October child is very mature but definitely struggles a bit more. I figure that over time my August child will mature and it will be less obvious. The other factor is that maybe she is less mature because she is my youngest!

They're all different. I guess only you know how you feel they are coping. What has the teacher said?

Mine is an August baby. He was very small and immature starting school. I worried a lot.

he then grew up. Physically at least, socially took a bit longer

he’s now in year 6. got a place at grammar school, is academically “exceeding expectations” in teacher jargon.

I’m very pleased I didn’t hold him back. That said it’s an incredibly tough call I know. But in those short months before accepting a school place and going, they do grow up a lot.

My son was born late July. He was so ready for school it never crossed my mind to not let him go. I know a few other July/August kids and they all thrived.

My youngest is July and will turn 11 this year. I still get little pangs of guilt that I didn't hold them back.
They are not struggling by any standards but every thing seems to take longer to click and I really don't feel like they are ready for secondary school.
Whereas with my eldest I really did feel they were ready.

My middle DC was born mid august and was absolutely fine. He was small when he started school but settled in well, made friends and academically did very well in KS1. He is a teen now, not doing as well academically but that is due to his attitude; not because he is one of the youngest in the year!

Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to reply, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

I'm a worrier by nature and question everything.

At the time of making the decision for him to go to reception he had already done nursery part time, I then moved him to the primary school preschool in hope that he would see familiar faces when starting reception which he did.

He was bored in preschool, the set up was still academically focused (holding a pen, numbers, letters) but he just kept saying it was boring and he didn't want to do what the babies were doing (ages 2-4 within the group). I did the rest at home but more in depth and I just felt he was ready.

It did take him a little while to settle but he's willing to learn and although it's maybe taking a little longer for things to click he's so enthusiastic (also reiterated by the teachers).

Nothing negative has been said so to speak, more that he is a little behind but has the ability to catch up and is extremely eager. I asked about the emotional side etc and she said they are all up and down at times and that age as this point doesn't matter.

It's more that I feel I have put him at a disadvantage somehow, just typical mum guilt perhaps. But I appreciate how many people have responded and helped to put my mind at ease.

One of his friends mums (he's a late July baby) is in the same boat, when I asked how she felt she just said 'ah he'll be alright' so it's maybe me being over the top

My July born has struggled all through school. She's now about to take GCSEs and really could do with repeating the year. She has always seemed so much younger than her peers , is emotionally immature and is physically smaller and less developed than her friends.

If a child is very bright and confident I don't think it matters so much but my DD has slow processing and has always been an anxious child. I wish I could have held her back a year.

DS is an October born and very bright and was ready to start school a year before he did.

My August boy.

Below at ks1, average at ks2 with 1 working above. 8s and 9s at gcse and predicted 3 A* at a level. We focused on getting him to ignore predictions ( they predicted gcse based on ks2 sats) and rewarded effort not results. And on helping him be his own person (he's a bit too much this now 🙄) and confidence. Oh and he's got great general knowledge....

Another one here with two late August DCs who are on course for good A level and GCSE grades.

My oldest is 30th August baby and I could have deferred but she was quite shy and benefitted from being with her little friendship group from preschool.

She's done really well and is actually very mature for her age. The only thing that she was annoyed at was when all her friends were driving and she had to wait.

I think it's perfectly normal to be anxious when they start school but imho reception teachers are very used to supporting them and my DC would have hated to miss out when all their friends were going to "big school".

Good luck OP (and have some tissues hamdy on the first day)!

That's what mine has hated. All his friends are 18 and can drive and go clubbing.

My DD is August born and went through school in her correct year. She was very mature though. Nothing was a big issue for her. It’s inevitable that DC are all different. If this wasn’t the case, no summer born DC would get offered places at Oxbridge. They clearly do. DD did. The idea that all summer born DC are behind forever is clearly wrong.

I do think boys in general can take longer to settle and this can be the September born ones too and they can also get behind their peers. Not all dc have the same intelligence or abilities and just delaying won’t always help. Delaying just gets your child top of the pile in getting a driving licence or drinking alcohol legally first in their peer group. An August born is always last! However if DS has friends, I really wouldn’t change.

I was born at the end of July and never had any problems at school at all. DC were May and June and also had no issues. I do however see it from the other side with a GD who is 3rd oldest in her year and so almost a year older than some of the children in her class.

He'll be fine! I'm an august birthday, i went to university at just 18 which was fine too. Someone has to be oldest and youngest

My niece was the youngest and managed reception OK but then massively struggled in year one. At Christmas she was moved back to reception again and has been so so much happier since. In year 4 now and really thriving. Definitely the right call for them!

I have a May child and a June child but my friend has a last week of August in the same year as one of mine. Academically all fine, emotionally for reception and a bit of year 1 was just a bit silly at times. Apart from that he did brilliantly and he is about to sit his A levels and doing great. Mine both excelled. I am also a summer born and I hated being written off at an early age because I was younger.

Academic success is a combination of many things, the school, the parents, friendship groups and most importantly the child. The main thing is not to draw attention to them being the youngest. The number of times I heard parents say well of course XYZ because they are the youngest in the school year. When in fact so many factors go into academic success including attitude of the parents toward school and homework.

I remember going to Butlins as a child and learning to sing Push, Button, Click - lyrics, "Rule number one, fun, fun, fun, rule number two, we don't like school" and now wondering where that comes from? Why are we told not to like school? I always told my children that I loved school, I loved learning when in fact I truanted from secondary because I hated it luckily the school were supportive and I went on to uni. I told my children the truth when they were older.

I'm very pleased I didn't hold my summer born back, just don't worry. There are advantages to deferring and advantages to not deferring.

DTs are the youngest in the year, they were prem and should have been born in the October so the eldest.

TBH they struggled with tiredness in yR, and the were a little behind in some motorskills but by y3, they had caught up. They left y6 at above expectation in everything despite finally being diagnosed as dyslexic in y8.