Youngest in the year - reception

[yaboreme]

Hi,

I was just looking to see how things are/ turned out for any of you that had summer born children who started school at 4.

My son was 4 in August and I'm really worried that I made the wrong decision to send him to reception after only turning 4, 2 weeks prior to the start of the school year.

He's emotionally a little behind and is a little behind his peers with reading, writing etc but I have been assured that he knows the concept of simple math and is very enthusiastic to learn.

My concern is that he may have benefited from an additional year to be 5 when he started to be of a more similar age to his peers.

Am I worrying about nothing? Or should I enquire about resitting reception (if that's another option).

Hopefully this makes sense.

Thank you

My birthday is right at the end of August. I am tiny. I started school a week after my fourth birthday. I was the size of a small two year old. I was way behind my peers and every day I had to go sleep in the dolls cot in the Wendy house as I still needed to nap. It took a further two to three years of remedial one to one tuition and monthly weigh ins and being measured before the school finally stopped worrying about ma and I caught up with my peer group. Size wise I never caught up. Still take aged eleven clothes. I realise now my maturity was far behind my class mates and I really needed that extra year to develop.

My daughters are June and August born and they’ll both be waiting until CSA to start school. Whilst they probably would be okay in reception at 4. I don’t want them to just be okay, I want them to thrive. The extra year in nursery/home will be so beneficial to them. Another thing we considered is, it isn’t just starting reception early, it’s also doing that SATS a year younger, their GCSES, going to college and uni. Overall, the extra year will be so good for them in the long run.

Ask your June born daughter if she agrees with you when she is eighteen. The extra year might be beneficial when she's four, maybe not so much when she's 18 in a class with 16/17 yos and another year of school to go, when everyone else her age is leaving school and moving into adult life.

I have been in childcare for over 30 yrs, it’s not beneficial to the majority of kids to delay them in my opinion.He will miss out on that 1st year of forming friendships, yr r is mostly playing. If you feel
school are being pushy about learning then step up and tell them that you won’t be pushing him at home, I found there was a lot of “optional” extra work in our school but we didn’t do most of it, I focused on the reading. There’s always mum guilt whatever choice you make

I can definitely see everyone's point of view, the pros and cons.

One of my worries is that I would personally have had another year with him, however with the whole covid situation my maternity leave was almost 18 months and then a further 6 months working from home. I only worked part time until he started school as he is an only child those 2 days at nursery benefited him to be with other children etc. So although I'd like to (keep him at home with me forever) I know it's good for him.

I've spoken to a few people about this since posting and have realised that although he is one of the youngest there's a younger half and an older half to the year set. I also spoke with his teacher today and she assured me that they all have different strengths and weaknesses even the older ones.

Thanks again for everyone's input, I know it's a personal choice and that every child is different. So I guess you make a choice and roll with it. Whatever the outcome, providing you give all of the love, support and additional help if/ when required.

She will be 17 in a class with 16 and other 17 year olds. If she went to school at 4, she would be 16 in a class with 17/nearly 18 year olds. When she’s 18 she will be with 17 and 18 year olds, not 16 year olds. Summer born children are mostly closer in age to the year below them (if they go to school at 4) than their “normal” year.

You must proved my point and another reason why we will be delaying our children. If she goes to school at 4, she will be the child left out when her friends turn 18 and go out, have their first drink, start to do adult things whilst she is left behind at 17 with months and months to go before she joins in.

Deferred children still go into reception

When I’ve mentioned this on previous threads, people have said things like “so you’d advocate deferring just because your DS couldn’t go clubbing and drinking??” - which sounds trivial when you say it like that. But actually it was hard for him. In his A level year, one by one people turned 18 and went clubbing, and he couldn’t go. After A levels they all went out to celebrate, and he couldn’t go to the club. It was crap for him. It’s not all about getting into a fancy university. Social stuff is important too.

Exactly! It’s obviously not what we solely based our choice on but it’s definitely a factor. Why would I want my daughter sitting at home all alone whilst her friends post all over social media all the fun they’re having because they turn 18 way before her when she could have friends pretty much her own age and they get to experience life and becoming an adult together.

It baffles me that people try to argue it because so far, I haven’t come across a single negative thing about a child starting at CSA.

My grandson is an August baby (late August at that), and he was a late talker as well, so we were VERY concerned about him starting School so young.

They supported him, he thrived. He's 12 now, and despite being the youngest kid in his year he is doing astoundingly well at school.

I'm sure that in a couple of months you will be more than happy that there is no problem at all

My daughter is also one of the youngest
10th august
she is loving school and hated preschool/nursery
if he's happy focus on that don't stress over the levels /comparison with other kids they progress at their own pace
perhaps delaying may have been great but I wouldn't pull him out or repeat now unless given that advice by the school
if he's progressed along his own line he's doing great!

Also don't forget in many local authorities you can't defer reception
so they start reception at just 4
or they defer but start in year 1 essentially missing that foundational level
thankfully some don't do that as reception is so vital
so don't second guess your decision now he's in and happy x
If the school thought he was truly struggling emotionally socially and academically they'd have suggested repeating the year.

It is illegal for a LA to have a blanket policy of no to placing delayed summer born children in reception. It has to be on an individual basis based on each individual child’s circumstances.

My son was ready when he was 4 in November but he doesn’t start until September. I feel he’s not made any progress at nursery and he’s acting like the babies who have joined his preschool class. Send your son to school. It will be good for him and he’ll catch up with the rest of the class eventually

My son was 4 in July he's doing fine. I think he's probably not as far ahead as others with his reading, but I don't think it matters. He's happy and enjoying it that's the main thing. My daughter is in year 5 she's an August birthday she has also been fine, always top at reading, emotionally obviously was a little bit less mature than some others but she tended to be friends with those who are of a similar age. It's all evened out now they're in year 5 though, I think both academically and maturity wise.

No wonder dc are not resilient. Defer because they cannot drink with their peers! Is every part of their life managed so they are the same as everyone else? Yes, there are disappointments and yes, they have to wait, but parents cannot eradicate every wrinkle in the road. Making sure dc are first in everything knows no bounds!

good to know it's changed
i know not long ago it was common to not permit joining reception at csa a year late as I recall it impacting many of my friends kids especially in areas with oversubscribed schools

🙄🙄🙄

How dare parents send their children to school at 5 (like most other children) than just turned 4. So very awful of them indeed.

My eldest was born on the 13th of August and started just before Covid. I really worried about him. He is now top of his class for maths, a reading age of 11years and in general doing well. The main thing he initially struggled with was confidence going to the toilet by himself. I hope this helps- they do catch up, the teacher told me by January all the kids are the same.

My daughter is late summer born and seemed behind her peers in reception. She is almost 13, at a grammar school and you would never know she ever struggled.

My child was 4 when she started YR as late summer born. In life you have to suck things up and in September, the majority are not 5. How can they be? Going through life thinking everything can be sorted out, just by getting dc in the year group behind, seems just one more thing parents do to make dc less resiliant. Overall being the youngest can be annoying but not much more.

My son is an August baby, not only that he was a preemie too. So he should have been born in October which would have put him into the year below if born normally. He technically would have been 3 and 9 months when he started school 😬
I still sent him when he was 4 as I felt he outgrew nursery and needed more of a challenge. He was fine, he's still a bit immature compared to some of the children that were September born and turned 5 straight away. It all depends on the child ,
You know your child best.

My Mum wasn’t given the option back when I started school and was told to send me at 4 (February Birthday). I wish they’d let her hold me back till I was 5. Now I’m an adult I can see why for the first 4 years of school I was behind my peers and had to be taken out of the main class and put into ‘learning support’ classes for maths and English. I think this had a lasting effect as I hated school because I struggled so much in my early years. I believe if I’d had a better start at school my attitude towards learning would have been so much better.

My eldest son is also a late summer baby, and he went to reception just after he had turned 4….he’s 12 now and doing brilliantly. I never even thought about delaying him (it wasn’t so well known about then), and he was more than ready to go. He’s always been fairly advanced academically, but physically he was (and is) smaller than his year group friends who are 9,10,11 months older than him. That meant he wasn’t so good at PE to start with (fairly average though in his class of 20). However after a few years his natural co-ordination and sportiness meant he became really good at sports and PE as well. He attends a very selective school now, is on several sports teams and has lots of friends, so going to school at just turned 4 hasn’t done him any harm at all. To be honest they all seem so little when they start reception, whether they are just 4 or (like my youngest), about to turn 5. Also there is so much variation between children as well, that age is only one small factor in how well they settle in and get on with school life.

My daughter was born late August, started school a week after she turned 4 and is in top sets at secondary school so it doesn’t appear to have done her any harm.
We were offered for her to do half days to start with as she was summer born but that wasn’t practical for the days I worked and we didn’t feel that would be beneficial to her. A child in my son’s class started school a year later than normal but they put her straight into year 1. She found it very difficult as she had missed out on all the reception learning so I wouldn’t recommend that. I know in other areas you can start a year later than normal and into reception.

OP I wouldn’t worry too much, you are obviously a caring parent and will support him to achieve his best.

It’s such a worry having an august born isn’t it :( whatever you do, it’s a consideration others just don’t have to think about.
For every ‘my 31 august child is now a doctor’ , there are countless kids (particularly boys) who never go on to fulfil their potential, and suffer unnecessarily socially/emotionally just because they were forced to start school far too young.
All the ‘they soon catch ups’ may be kind and reassuring but don’t reflect the data around outcomes for summer borns. The worst one is the number of summer borns diagnosed as SEN, they’re not SeN, they’re a year younger!!! Of course they’re struggling! It takes unnecessary resource from the true SEN kids at a time when they are limited. I’ve certainly seen this with the kids I know; I do know one august born who did well, but the majority labelled as special needs or who really suffered.

interestingly those who took a gap year before Uni said it was a real ‘aha!’ Moment socially.

ive never heard from a single person who did wait to start them at compulsory school age and regretted it so if you’re feeling worried and guilty about it now, why not speak with the head and see if a repeat would be possible? It’s unlikely they’ll agree is it’s so much harder to get a yes to that than it is a delayed start, but I do know plenty of summer borns in same position who were granted it. Ultimately if the school can see them struggling it’s in everyone’s interests to correct the disadvantage - will usually just come down to funding….

I wouldn’t let any short term discomfort put you off if your gut is telling you it would be best for him. but if it’s not possible or you think would now knock his confidence ever more, I’d just do what I could to keep his confidence high and get extra support outside of school when needed.

ultimately if he’s loved and from a supportive family that’s all that matters - he will be ok xxxx