Youngest in the year - reception

[yaboreme]

Hi,

I was just looking to see how things are/ turned out for any of you that had summer born children who started school at 4.

My son was 4 in August and I'm really worried that I made the wrong decision to send him to reception after only turning 4, 2 weeks prior to the start of the school year.

He's emotionally a little behind and is a little behind his peers with reading, writing etc but I have been assured that he knows the concept of simple math and is very enthusiastic to learn.

My concern is that he may have benefited from an additional year to be 5 when he started to be of a more similar age to his peers.

Am I worrying about nothing? Or should I enquire about resitting reception (if that's another option).

Hopefully this makes sense.

Thank you

2 of my sons friends were born 31August and they have both thrived,confident and high achieving. Absolutely nothing about them at school to think they were the youngest apartdmfrom using other boys ID for the pub! I am an August baby and was absolutely fine even if rather badly behaved at school!

My DS is a late August birthday, and he is now 18.

When he started school, there wasn’t an option to defer for a whole year, so I deferred him for a term. He started reception in the January.

Academically he had no problems at all. He caught up quickly, never struggled to understand lessons, and got good A levels. He’s now at university, so from a purely academic perspective being the youngest hasn’t harmed him at all.

Emotionally it was a struggle at times. He always had plenty of friends, but he found it hard when the other kids were just that bit older than him. He had to give up his beloved Thomas the Tank Engine swimming bag before he wanted to, because he was told it was for babies. His friends went through puberty before him. They were getting interested in girls when he still only cared about football. They all started to drive before him, were able to go out drinking before him - he always felt left behind. He lacked in confidence as a result of being the youngest, and always felt that he was behind his peers. He just didn’t develop the resilience that comes with maturity until months after his contemporaries . Interestingly most of his friends at secondary school were summer born too. They clearly gravitated towards each other.

Having said that, one of DS’s passions is football. Had I been able to defer him for a year, he might have been too old to play for the teams in his year group, which would have upset him.

Apart from that issue, I would say his life would have been much happier if I’d been able to defer him for a year. He would have been more confident and achieved more if he’d been the oldest in the year, rather than the youngest, always hiding at the back of the classroom in case he was laughed at.

@ittakes2 I believe that these days parents can defer summer born kids for a whole year, so they start in reception soon after they turn 5.

It is entirely different for each and every child.

C1 - Youngest in Year, hindsight is a wonderful thing and should have joined later. Struggled massively.

C2 - Youngest in Year, absolutely fine, could have joined even sooner with no problems or concerns.

C3 / Oldest in Year, struggled massively.

With hindsight, we made the right call to send dtds age 4 even though they were premature and born 30 August. From year 4 the gap had totally disappeared and in secondary dtd1 is in top sets, dtd2 middle sets (but less hard working than dtd1). They did need earlier nights and no after school clubs because they were so tired in reception.

Our school keep some children in reception when they move to year 1 if they think they need/would benefit from the extra year of ‘play learning’, so I’m sure it could be an option for you. Year 1 they are expected to sit and work for longer periods. One child that stayed in reception from my child’s year was one of the oldest in the class so it was definitely on ability rather than age. They have definitely caught up now they are all in year 2. Children learn at different rates and will all pretty much level out before they leave primary so try not to worry ❤️

DS1 is August born, and I don't regret him going to school at just 4 at all - he loved it (immediately made best friends with the biggest kid in the year).

Now at secondary, he's still the youngest in his year, and is 'young for his age' emotionally/socially I'd say, but that's fine - particularly since he's a bit geeky, so it actually keeps him out of trouble :). Academically he's great, sports-wise he's never going to set the world alight (especially when there's kids in his year that are well on their way through puberty), but it's no big deal.

I don't think in the UK it's as easy to hold them back a year (ie. they'd start school, but still in the same year group, but having missed reception), so unless the child was really struggling, I'm not sure it's helpful to keep them out anyway - most of the research I read was about the children being held back a whole year, so they started reception as the oldest - which has other benefits (and drawbacks)

Correct, we did this recently.

Please don’t overthink it too much. Two of my three summer born DC were absolutely fine and really no different to their older classmates.

One did struggle more but I don’t how much of that was down to his personality rather than his age.

Although be prepared for ‘why did I have to be the last to start driving/going to the pub? when their friends hit 17 and 18!

A long time ago, in a galaxy far away .......... my son entered formal nursery school (instead of reception, in Scotland) at the age of 3. He is a December birthday and the cut off here is February. Just some more context, children born between September and February have a choice to defer a year.

We decided that he was ready - and he was - he settled in and was fine in nursery school. Before the end of the year, we had a brief discussion with the nursery head teacher and decided that he was well able to start P1 with his peers, even though he was only 4. He has always been one of the youngest in his class, doing his state exams at 15, 16 and 17. When it was time for university, we discussed a gap year but at one open day (English University), they told him he would have to pay higher fees if he deferred. That settled the matter for him and we waved our 17 year old off to uni.

To cut a long story short, he graduated with a First in Computer Science, waltzed into a job and started student loan repayments from his first pay packet. He is now 30. I will admit to having momentary doubts about whether we should have held him back throughout his educational career, but, with hindsight I can honestly say it was the best decision for him. He never, in the early days, complained of being bored or working too hard. I hope my experience helps reassure you.

The gap between him and the older ones in the year will matter less and less as he progresses through school. If it’s just that he’s one of the youngest, he’ll soon catch up. If he doesn’t then he may have some SEN or a learning delay that waiting a year wouldn’t have helped anyway. Don’t worry, you have done the right thing

I haven't read any replies but as someone who works in a school - send him this year. He will be the young one for the first year but then it slowly balances out, definitely by year 3/4. This is much better than "being in the wrong year". My son is an early September baby and a good friend at middle & high school was a boy who was end of August, that boy was always smaller but other than that there was no difference at all - they could be small being the same age too so that really has no bearing.

in my experience ‘formal nursery’ in Scotland doesn’t really compare to the level of learning that reception kids receive in England. My DD is reading at a much higher level than my friends children who live in Scotland and are the same age. They obviously do catch up so it doesn’t really matter.

Please try not to worry. DS2 is a very late August birthday and started reception not even completely reliably toilet trained. In reception he was on the ‘bottom table’ and got ‘emerging’ on his reports. Over the years he has gradually closed the gap and is now in year 9 and in top sets for all subjects. Over the years the gap has closed up. I won’t pretend I didn’t worry to start with though as January born DS1 had coped with that first year so much better.

This changed around 7/8 years ago. You can definitely start July/Aug babies a year later with the year below in foundation and stay with that year throughout.

My birthday is 31 august! I was by far the youngest in the year. I had no issues at all. Got good exam results, lots of nice friends etc. only thing that was frustrating was always being the last, to turn 18, to be able to start driving lessons etc!

The thing is, despite whatever anecdotes we tell, there is fairly robust statistically evidence that as a group Summer born children achieve less well than the oldest children in the year group and that there are demonstrable differences at least as far as GCSE, especially for boys. That is why the policy on deferrals was changed.
Of course population statistics do what they say they do - they describe populations, not individuals and they are certainly not a crystal ball that can predict the outcome for a single child. And of course there are lots of Summer born children who do very well at school and plenty Autumn babies who struggle, but it doesn't help anyone to say that birth month is irrelevant. Lots of other factors are important too of course, but if you look at the population as a whole it does make a difference.
As mother of a Summer born boy I was glad to have this information. I couldn't change when he was born, and the time I couldn't change when he entered reception. But being aware of the potential problems influenced my choice of school and made me more alert to any developing issues. It's not any kind of judgement on Summer born people to say that they may be disadvantaged at school and surely it is better to know that then you can mitigate as far as possible?

if you hold them back from reception they don't go into the reception the following year they go into their year group of yr 1. DD was 15th Aug and very young (10 weeks prem for a start) so she struggled to some extent BUT I used to drop and collect her from school so no after or before school which I think is exhausting for them when first starting school. Managed this for the majority of the reception yr and then in yr 1 she started doing after school club mon to thur. I was able to work this around work and between myself and DH. We didn't do after school extra curriculum and swimming was with us on a sunday so felt more like a family activity. She just about managed it and held herself midtable for achievements although she is v bright, it really helped us that she was in a tiny school that once she reached yr2 they had a mixed class and she ended up being in the middle group of age (the lower years were just smaller classes at that time). she never really stood out at achieving academically at all even though when she got to yr 7 she was assessed with a reading and comprehension age of 17yr old. BUT even with 2 yrs of Covid for her GCSEs she came out with a bunch of 7/8/9 and just one 5 I think it was - I know there was one outlier cant even remember what it was. so overall did she suffer for it - maybe in terms of not putting herself forward and lacking some self confidence but on the whole no. She is by her nature reticent unless riled or knows people well when she is happy to debate and holds her ground. She is at Uni now - handling major team working skills on Film practice at one of the best rated UK courses. Will be interesting to see what career/industry she ends up in, she isn't 100% its going to be film per se but she is loving doing what she is doing for now

This is wrong, they can go into reception a year late.

My youngest was an august baby and I like you worried I should have kept him back. Honestly primary years were hard but it did all come together. He’s now 18 and in New York at college so it didn’t hold him back

I'm so glad I didn't hold my August DS back a year and left him in his correct year.
I looked at him in reception and imagined him to still be in nursery and he would be so bored and I have done the same each year he moves up.
He can still be quite silly at time, but so can his friends, one is a sept child so nearly a full year older but the same school year and they are in yr2 and all still quite silly when they get together.

You definitely haven't done him a disservice in leaving him in his correct year, just keep helping him and encouraging him as the school will do also.

DS started reception at 4 and 4 weeks and he was fine. He would have been incredibly bored at nursery for another year.

Two of the smartest kids in my son’s year are late August. Reception is a weird year anyway, multiple reasons kids don’t hit their potential. It’s a settling in year really, he’ll come into his own Y1, they all do then as settled, know routine etc

I’m surprised to read that so many people seemed to have the option of holding their summer babies back a year. My friend’s son was born on 31 August, several weeks premature. They fought with local schools for him to start a year later than usual, but none of them would allow it.

Slightly different as I’m in Scotland. My son is a late feb birthday, so the very youngest for the new intake. He should have started school age 4.5, however we deferred so that he was 5.5 when he started Primary 1. It made big difference, he had another year of pre school and was more ready to be at school. If you have the ability to defer, I would recommend.