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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Just had Parents Eve - not good news... come and help me!! (DS in Reception)

113 replies

Alambil · 28/02/2008 19:45

He doesn't concentrate.

He can't write well enough.

He can't even read his writing.

Other kids his age are writing three sentences; he can't even do one.

He doesn't work fast enough.

He doesn't get changed fast enough for P.E.

He doesn't keep up with the kids on his table (ie level).

He is falling behind.

He will be left behind during his whole school career if he doesn't change now.

The above are all statements I've just heard from his teacher..... to say I'm upset is an understatment.

I'm getting him some elastic bands to do some physio excersises on his fingers/writing hand. I'm going to get work books and colouring books and we will do work every night on them.

I will NOT have my child slip through the net because he isn't stupid - he is just laid back...

HOW can I make him get faster/better????? I need help - all I heard was negative things - she didn't say ONE positive...

I am bereft.. I thought he was doing ok at school

OP posts:

ingles2 · 28/02/2008 19:47

And he's in RECEPTION!!!!!!????!!!
am on your behalf
This is just ridiculous, forget it for now and see how he is in year 1....

McDreamy · 28/02/2008 19:47

Oh hun what is it with some of these teachers. He's in reception fgs!!! I really feel for you. What's their plan for him? How have they asked you to support the plan?

ingles2 · 28/02/2008 19:49

Actually I'm really disgusted a reception teacher has let you come away feeling like this.
Please don't worry, I'm sure he's just fine. ((hug))

southeastastra · 28/02/2008 19:49

been there, it make you feel gutted doesn't it. don't worry. i think they just want them all at the same standard at the same time, and don't want to take into account that children reach different stages at different times.

emandjules · 28/02/2008 19:49

my dd cannot write 3 sentences and as far as know neither can most her classmates, dd Cannot get ready by herself for PE, not a problem with teacher.

what a load of tosh, that teacher is talking. My dd is one of oldest in class and sounds equal to your son and the teacher is pleased with her progress.

Think the teacher thinks she is teaching year 1 or above

TsarChasm · 28/02/2008 19:50

Good lord Lewis this is awful. He's a baby

Please please don't be bereft. You poor love. They are so wide of the mark it's not true. Honestly they are. Is there any way he could go somewhere else?

cazzybabs · 28/02/2008 19:51

Go back and ask her what does he like doing? What he is good at? Can't beleive there is nothing. What is she doign about it? Why has she waitied this long to tell you?

Does he like school? What does he enjoy doing there? What does he not like?

Does he like colouring and work books? Why not make it fun - rather than putting him off? Make a book togther about something he is intersted it. He could write a word or a sentene and then find a picture on the computer to illistrate it (or draw one if he likes drawing) Can he write a letter to granny and post it and she sends one back? Cutting and sticking a list for his birthday. Use playdough, play with pegs, sewing with big needles (hole punch card even and thread with wool), flick balls (fingers) - all good for fine motor contorl (helpign strenghten those muscles for writing). Also make sure the gross motor skills are there - go to the park and climb. Boys do develop slower at these things that girls - don't write him off.

OneHandedTypist · 28/02/2008 19:52

DS is 8, in the top literacy yr3 groups for everything, and I struggle to read some of his writing!?
Honestly, his yr1 sister can write better than ds (but then again, she can spell the words for his top group spellings... anyway!...)

Having helped out quite a lot in Yr1, I can assure you many of them can't write 3 sentences, either. What kind of school is it?

SO, It doesn't sound so awful to me.
Maybe you could try to work a bit on his writing, it won't hurt. Ditto, make a game out of changing clothes faster.
Some kids get to end of reception before they can write their own names, you know??
I remember girls and boys in Yr2 who needed help to change for PE...

moodlumthehoodlum · 28/02/2008 19:52

Oh no poor little lewis fan.

I think that its pretty poor to not give you one positive, and I think you should perhaps go back in a few days and ask to see the teacher again? Ask for some positives and something constructive for you to work on with him.

Personally, and my dcs won't be in reception until next year, i think its rubbish to write a child off so early. Each child develops so differently - and in other countries they aren't even at school yet.

Janni · 28/02/2008 19:53

These statements say far more about the teacher than about your son. SHE is stressed and harassed so cannot see clearly that this is a perfectly normal little boy. She really should have started with a few positive comments about him. It is dreadful to leave a parent feeling like this. Yes, do what you can to support him in his learning but keep telling yourself that SHE is the one with the problem, not your son.

beansontoast · 28/02/2008 19:53

oh dear oh dear....wat was he/she thinking when she said all that?

i would be devastated to hear such a NEEDLESSLY GLOOMY report...jeeeeez...he is only wee.

would love to fully rant..but am typing with one hand!

it is how happy he is at the moment..and how motivated he is that will impact on his learning the most id say...

...im livid...almost

KerryMum · 28/02/2008 19:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Unfitmother · 28/02/2008 19:54

He's in Reception?????

FFS how ridiculous! Take no notice.

nutcracker · 28/02/2008 19:54

Lewis, he sounds exactly like Ds who is also in reception.

Everyone else but Ds have been given a sentance book and one sentance to write each week. Ds though hasn't as he still has poor pencil control.

He is also very laid back wrt to every other aspect of school.

The difference though is that Ds's teachers have been fantastic about all of this and are letting ds go at his own pace. They do always make him have a go, but whatever the result they praise him to the hilt for trying, and this has encourgaged him to try harder.

I would try and go back into speak to the teacher and say that at 5, you do not feel it is fair for them to be writing him off, and more encouragement is needed from them.

kaz33 · 28/02/2008 19:55

Go and speak to the headteacher - there is no way that you should be spoken to like this.

My 4 year old (reception) cannot write for toffee, can't colour in pictures (just scrawl randomnly) and has limited concentration as do most 4 year old boys . He is doing ok socially and has he made friends? If the answer is yes, then he is doing great. These are the skills that he needs to learn IMO at school. He won't be leaving primary unable to read and write or indeed colour in pictures. They all just get it at different times.

My DS1 (6) was a very late reader, writer etc but now in Year 2 he is a fluent reader and at the top end of the class [proud mummy]

ingles2 · 28/02/2008 19:56

It's this
He will be left behind during his whole school career if he doesn't change now.
that makes me sooo cross. totally and utterly ridiculous! AFAIK reception is for developing social, confidence and concentration skills. He will develop his academic skills when he is ready, don't push him to do "work" too much you don't want to put him off.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 28/02/2008 19:56

What a cow!! Saying he will be behind for all his school days is just ridiculous and very negative.

He can't do these things because she hasn't taught him.

FFS he is a baby!

McDreamy · 28/02/2008 19:57

There you go Lewisfan.......some great advice and reassuring comments....are you feeling a little better?

Your little boy is normal and his teacher is off the wall!!!!

Milliways · 28/02/2008 19:59

My DS hated writing, and even now (12) has to concentrate to make it legible. I used to look at work on classroom walls & dream his would ever be that neat. Things only improved when he tried writing with a fountain pen!!

When I heard that his 11+ exam involved writing an essay with a pencil I thought he was done for - he passed!!

They are totally crazy labelling any reception child as falling behind

KerryMum · 28/02/2008 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chipkid · 28/02/2008 20:00

that is unfeckingbelievable-what planet is his teacher on?

dramaqueen · 28/02/2008 20:02

Please take no notice. She is talking cr*p.

My dd is in reception and on the top table. She can't write 3 sentences and can't always read her own writing.

When my ds was in reception he was laid back like your ds. He spent most of the time lying on the floor looking at the ceiling. He is in the second from top group now in yr 2. His writing is bad though, and we are doing work with him at home on it and wish we had started sooner. So I agree that it would be good if you worked on his writing (albeit in a fun way) but I would ignore the rest.

NorthernLurker · 28/02/2008 20:02

He's in Reception! He's supposed to be learning through play not studying quantum physics. I'm afraid the teacher sounds pretty frightful.

Ok - take a deep breath and make sure you praise him tomorrow for something - he will know you've been to see his teacher and the last thing he needs is this shed load of negativity. Did you see any nice pictures he's done? If you want to do odd bits with him at night then fair enough - but don't get too tired or hung up on it - it really is ok to relax - you and he have a lot of school ahead yet!

Original poster

Alambil · 28/02/2008 20:03

Thanks guys...

I haven't written him off - he's five; he's normal... I've worked in enough schools to know he is really "normal" and definitely not behind.

They have to write a sentence each day; they don't get help with how to spell the words so one of his sentences says something like "I woke up early" but his words are "I woc up erlee" or something similar - well TBH expecting a child to remember KE for woke and early is a high demand IMPO.... you all just made me realise I'm not down-playing it.

He does have poor pencil control; I got him a special triangle pencil with a harder lead than HB - they have lost it.

I will replace it but am a bit pissed off that the things I do to support him are just lost...

apparently the 4 yr olds that started in January are overtaking him... I find that quite hard to believe really (some may well be - but all? not likely)

I have just sat here and shed a few tears; doesn't help matters but I was quietly reeling inside. I can't go to speak to her - she won't budge... I know her well enough now to know that much.

I'll just have to work on it at home and if he doesn't write three sentences by the end of reception then what the hell.... he ain't illiterate - that is the important bit. He's on ORT stage 3/3+ - that is quite good IMO.

Sorry - you lot got the brunt of it cos I didn't have anyone to talk to... thanks for all your support. I really do appreciate it

OP posts:

rantinghousewife · 28/02/2008 20:03

The teacher is over reacting, surely, he's about 5 ffs. Children don't have a strict timetable of when they have to learn things, at this age, do they? And I'm personally a bit shocked that she couldn't be bothered to give you some positives.

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