Just had Parents Eve - not good news... come and help me!! (DS in Reception)

[Alambil]

He doesn't concentrate.

He can't write well enough.

He can't even read his writing.

Other kids his age are writing three sentences; he can't even do one.

He doesn't work fast enough.

He doesn't get changed fast enough for P.E.

He doesn't keep up with the kids on his table (ie level).

He is falling behind.

He will be left behind during his whole school career if he doesn't change now.

The above are all statements I've just heard from his teacher..... to say I'm upset is an understatment.

I'm getting him some elastic bands to do some physio excersises on his fingers/writing hand. I'm going to get work books and colouring books and we will do work every night on them.

I will NOT have my child slip through the net because he isn't stupid - he is just laid back...

HOW can I make him get faster/better????? I need help - all I heard was negative things - she didn't say ONE positive...

I am bereft.. I thought he was doing ok at school

agree with everyone hes still a baby really-i dunno why teachers say these things its bizarre and ridiculous did she say nothing positive?
is he happy at school? if he is then at least hes learning social skills if hes not then maybe he feels a bit pressured? dont force him to do stuff at home a school day is long enough let alone extra at home.

Agree she is talking crap. My only advice is to not listen to her and hope for a better teacher next year.

Hey look - when he wins his Nobel prize I'm sure he'll lend it to you so you can go back to the school (because she will still be there - they always are!) and brandish it in her judgemental, gloomy, inadequate face!

3 sentences in reception.

She's a liar.

it won't be mega stuff - colouring instead of just milling around/lego/painting - things like that.... not structured homework (I ain't that mean !)

The fact that his is writing words in a phonetic way indicates that he is far from behind. What he wrote is excellent. I think teachers spend their 10 minutes giving the negatives and forget about the positives. They really need training in how to deal with parents.

Re: the pencil thing. Ds1 was NOT interested in picking up a pencil at ALL until he even hit reception. Even now at 6 his handwriting is all over the place and he gets his letters back to front and all sorts (the only consolation is that when you can read it, you notice that his spelling is actually pretty good ).

Anyway, the reason I'm telling you this, is we had been given doom and gloom from nursery saying he couldn't/wouldn't hold a pencil properly but our Y1 teacher told us an interesting thing - apparently, little children are born with more bones in their hands than adults have, and as they grow, the bones fuse and make the grip stronger and coordination better. For some reason, little girls hands tend to fuse at a younger age than little boys and a great many little boys have huge problems even gripping a pen/pencil properly and having a decent amount of strength until later (often up to around the age of 6).

Ds2, as I say, has a really good grip and strength in his hands now and adores drawing, painting and writing (just not very good at the latter, but he's working on it and is certainly not the only boy in his class to have problems getting his letters the right way around!) I was really panicked by the nursery that he was going to fall behind and do terribly at school just because he wasn't interested in holding a pencil, but really, he just wasn't physically ready yet.

Don't lose heart

Sorry dsONE has a really good grip.

For some reason ds2 has turned out to be the complete opposite of his brother and neatly writes his own name AND his brother's at the age of 3... and you know what? I don't consider THAT any indicator of how he will do in school either...

Another who is aghast at 3 sentences in reception.

Or any sentences in reception.

Fairymum the Y1 teacher is lovely... really seems encouraging.

DS teacher is nearing retirement I think - well, in the next 5 yrs or so... year 1's teacher is in her 30s and really nice.

DS teacher said that a lot of kids have learned to "get their head down" and work where he doesn't; he is easily distracted... I wanted to say that having the class bully (who doesn't like DS) on his table won't be helping IMO but nothing can be done.

I'll just work on things at home (by playing) and make a sticker chart for him to get dressed quickly.

My mum came with me and came home - she has already told DS that the teacher says he needs to do better... I'll think of things to say in the morning about him that are fabulous that I know he's done. He brought a picture home the other day of me and it is brilliant - has a head, body, legs, arms (coming out of the body) rather than his previous attempt of a body-less head with arms in the ears position and legs out of the neck!!

He is progressing as per "normal" rules; I have studied child development at uni and he seems in line with all the theories so I'm not worried... I am worried that his teacher seems to think he's going to be a dropout and in trouble if he can't get hold of these issues... there is a big difference between a 5 yr old still learning and a deliberately lazy 8/9/10yr old...

I wouldn't worry too much about the handwriting thing, ds still hasn't got great handwriting despite him having handwriting practice over the years but he's picked his options and was streamed at the top (so he could pick whatever he wanted). He's a very brainy bugger (very proud of him) but I can't remember him writing sentences in reception.

That bone thing is fascinating, RubberD.
DS1 is another one who never drew a thing or could read or write his letters until after he started school -- and he was nearly 5, then. Suddenly it all exploded, I haven't been able to stop him drawing since, but DD drew things so much earlier. DS2 (not YET 4) has no ability at all to colour or draw.

It is, isn't it. I was so relieved when she told me and it all made sense when she said. Certainly explained the sudden explosion of interest in drawing when he could finally put some pressure with a decent grip (must have felt so uncomfortable and unnatural for him beforehand).

He may never have super neat writing, but then neither (if I'm honest) does his father And it hasn't held him back much tbh, nor does it appear to affect a great many GPs who all seem adept at illegible scrawl!!!

Please tell me this is an independent school!!

It must be a very high-achieving state school if not. Unless she knows that your DS has great potential and wants more progress from him. That's all I can think of.

Please make an appointment to see the head and ask why they think his progress is way behind (it's not). They must have some pretty weird attainment targets.

Nope - tis just the local state school; the best in town but I only applied cos it's about 200 metres from my door!

Darling... it's reception. Is he happy at school? Then smile. Does he have a good social life there? Then smile. It will come.

DS1 has always been a boffin. He didn't write sentences for ages (mainly because his waste of space reception teacher was miffed that she didn't need to teach him to read so she went on and on about his terrible writing). He's 15. He writes!

I doubt if any of mine ever got changed quickly enough for PE. Also, it's rather difficult to concentrate when you are 4/5. There are so many exciting things to see and mates to hang out with.

Haven't read other responses but celebrate the fact that your child is your child. All of this will come.

Hi,

Sounds like the teacher wasn't particularly constructive.

I am a firm believer that things fall into place for young children in their own sweet time.

It's more important (I think) that they are happy in reception and developing thei social skills, forming friendships etc

I started a thread about dd only last week and the fact that she had been struggling but everything has just fallen into place for her (half way through yr 1) and she's not only caught up but is going from strength to strength.

I started so many threads about dd in reception

Oh dear
Please ignore her. She has her own problems - I'd not be a reception teacher for several million pounds. But she's fallen for the govt line that children should be reading and writing by the time they leave reception. No. They shouldn't. They should be on their way to that.

DS#2's teacher is just so lovely I could eat her. She knows what 4/5 year old boys are like and she is impressed if they want to learn, like books and can sit still for 10 mins. First time round I got so uptight about DS#1 that I nearly pulled him out of school to HE him (never mind that I worked full time and couldn't affford to stop )

You have heard all the advice here. Please please please don't worry. He will get there.

If you want any more reassurance. DS#1 is now getting level 5 in his yr 6 sats mocks. So above average. From a child who could rarely bother to draw a picture in reception.

How unprofessional! As a minimum it should be 3 positive comments to every 1 (very carefully phrased) negative comment!
Level 3 ORT is brilliant for a reception child, especially baring in mind that we are only half way through the year.
I work mainly in year 2 at the moment and "I woc up erlee" would be perfectly acceptable from the vast majority of them, only the higher achievers would be expected to be able to spell woke and I wouldn't expect ANY of them to spell early!!!
I suggest you write to school asking to arrange a meeting with the teacher to discuss his progress as you are "very concerned about the feedback you recieved at parents evening".
Sit the teacher down and ask her what strategies she has put in place to help bring your son up to where (she feels) he should be. Tell her that if she feels he is struggling so much he should clearly have an IEP in place so that his progeress can be monitered (and YOU can ask to see the evaluated IEP's every single week to see what they have done to help him). Give tham hell!!!!!!!!!!!

She is talking total crap. I have been a teacher in a good school for seven years and have NEVER seen a Reception class where the children wrote three sentences. I would be delighted with the writing your son produced in a class of mine. I feel very cross on your behalf that she should be so pointlessly negative. Who on earth wants children to "get their heads down" and work in Reception???

His reading sounds good too.

I am very glad to hear he is laid back, perhaps her negative attitude will wash over him.

Can I just say that I think he sounds fine. More than fine. My DS#2 can hardly write his name. I know he's behind some of the others but he's coming on steadily and with enthusiasm. That's all I can ask.

Praise him. Let him know how pleased you are with him. I'd hate to think his teacher's attitude might rub off on him.

Oh god, lewis fan *(read OP only).

I would be tempted to have a chat with the head of key stage, or even the actual Head, just to hear a second opinion.

FWIW, I have a very verbal, apparently v bright dd in reception. She recently wrote, independently '(name) dsut like go to shops'

• no punctuation, just as it satnds here, I thought this was fab, and so did her teacher when I told her. (Typical of feisty dd, trying to get her own way by whatever means necessary, but that's another story).

The teacher is unreasonable here.I'm sure of it.

Oh - and as a high school teacher(ex), I honestly think that the MOST important thing a reception child can learn from school is that it is an enjoyable place to be, where hard work is rewarded. Switch 'em on at 5, the battle is half won.