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Primary education

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Original poster

Just had Parents Eve - not good news... come and help me!! (DS in Reception)

113 replies

Alambil · 28/02/2008 19:45

He doesn't concentrate.

He can't write well enough.

He can't even read his writing.

Other kids his age are writing three sentences; he can't even do one.

He doesn't work fast enough.

He doesn't get changed fast enough for P.E.

He doesn't keep up with the kids on his table (ie level).

He is falling behind.

He will be left behind during his whole school career if he doesn't change now.

The above are all statements I've just heard from his teacher..... to say I'm upset is an understatment.

I'm getting him some elastic bands to do some physio excersises on his fingers/writing hand. I'm going to get work books and colouring books and we will do work every night on them.

I will NOT have my child slip through the net because he isn't stupid - he is just laid back...

HOW can I make him get faster/better????? I need help - all I heard was negative things - she didn't say ONE positive...

I am bereft.. I thought he was doing ok at school

OP posts:
Heated · 28/02/2008 21:37

Do you also get a written report soon on ds' progress?

seeker · 28/02/2008 21:40

Ignore her. Go straight to the head teacher and make a formal complaint. Write down everything she said before you forget - she should not be allowed to get away with this.

And don't do any work at home AT ALL. He is in Reception - a lot of children in Reception classes can't even recognise letters, far less write a perfectly readable phonetic sentence like your ds did.

My ds is 7, and against my wishes and better judgement, on the gifted and talented register. He could CERTAINLY not write 3 sentences in the February of RECEPTION.

And in Reception , they always had PE first lesson so that the mums that could came in to help them change. It still took forever, even with one adult for each three or so children.

She is an unmitigated cow and a disgrace to her profession.

Desiderata · 28/02/2008 21:41

I wouldn't ignore the teacher, Lewis.

She's as mad as a box of frogs and you need to take it further.

DloeufyDoo · 28/02/2008 21:41

Utterly ridiculous.I really feel for youHe is only in reception FGS.Am appalled at the teacher tbh.Fancy saying he will be behind during his whole scool life if he dosen't speed up.I think the teacher is out of order.Children do things at different times...maybe she needs to be flexible.Does she have kids?They don't all fit the same mould..which is why society is full of individuals.She is extremely negative and has prob been in the job too long.I am glad he is laid back too.and am sure he will be fine.Poor you...says more about the teacher than your son I reckon.Please try not to worry about it so much.

DloeufyDoo · 28/02/2008 21:42

Agree with Desiderata

seeker · 28/02/2008 21:43

I only said Lwewisfan shoul ignore the teacher because she should be making a bee line for the Headteacher with her formal complaint in her hand......

KerryMum · 28/02/2008 21:46

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DloeufyDoo · 28/02/2008 21:46

Didn't read all the posts seeker...agree with you tooWhat sort of effect does such a negative teacher have on children I wonder?
Also maybe there should be evenings where pupils/parents rate their teachers.Still can't believe he is only in reception.Am totally

Desiderata · 28/02/2008 21:47

I get that, Seeker! It's just semantics and I agree. The teacher needs ignoring.

DloeufyDoo · 28/02/2008 21:47

Though maybe not totally ds1 is home edded

Sexonlegs · 28/02/2008 21:49

I am so sorry that you have had this experience. I too would be talking to the Head Teacher. She seems to have ridiculously high expectations.

My dd1 is in Reception, and the teacher has said that they are all further ahead than the yr R class last year, but there is no way they are writing 3 sentences. They are babies still.

RubberDuck · 28/02/2008 21:54

KerryMum: they don't hold back in the UK system. They get propelled forward regardless of whether they are ready or not...

KerryMum · 28/02/2008 22:02

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tiggyhop · 28/02/2008 22:11

My 5 year old DS can barely write his name. He has never written a sentence and wouldn't know what to do if I asked him to. He is at a Montessori School so not so much emphasis on the "formals". Work on the pincer grip? Cutting things out etc., anything to strengthen his hand? Just a thought.

Original poster
Alambil · 28/02/2008 22:13

Oh, I really don't know what to do.

I know I "baby" him somewhat because he is on his own - we are on our own - so he doesn't always dress himself or put his own shoes on; maybe I should stop that so much...

Don't honestly think I can approach the teacher - I just am not able... I'll not say anything and just try to gee DS up as much as possible without being a whip-cracker.

I know he isn't going to fail at school - he's 5 - she can't POSSIBLY know what he's going to be like in year 4 and above! (or even year 2)

I think I was just so shocked... I honestly thought his pencil control had got better and didn't know they were meant to write two to three sentences in 30 mins... I just thought reception = letter forming / simple sentences (as in a pic and writing A Cat or somesuch)

OP posts:
KerryMum · 28/02/2008 22:16

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KerryMum · 28/02/2008 22:17

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katepol · 28/02/2008 22:22

I agree with everyone else! Teacher sounds like she needs to retire now, and your ds sounds absolutely fine .

My dd is also 5 and in reception. I am very pleased she can write 3 sentences, but they are along the lines of "I went to the parc. I sor sum dogs. I plaid on the slid" Haven't had our parents eve yet, but I know that dd's teacher is very pleased with how well she is doing.

I help out in the class, and there is a huge range of abilities. Your ds sounds pretty in the middle to me, and at the top end for reading . I would feel the need to address the teacher's negativity tbh...

seeker · 28/02/2008 22:24

Lewisfan - they aren't supposed to be writing 3 sentences after 6 months in Reception - no one els on here's child is/was!

PLEASE don't change how you're dealing with him - it makes you both happy. Don't let this WITCH make you change how your family works.

ANd PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE talk to the Head.

melpomene · 28/02/2008 22:26

I agree with Desi's diagnosis that the teacher is 'mad as a box of frogs'. Your ds sounds well above average for this age.

My dd1 is in reception and has just learnt all her letters. Apart from the names of family and friends, she can't write words correctly unless I spell them out for her. She is on ORT 1+. She is in the middle group of the class for reading so that must be about average.

Even if your ds was well below average (which he isn't), it is completely counterproductive for a teacher to have such a negative attitude. Everyone knows that children develop at very different rates and have spurts when their understanding improves. They need support and encouragement, not denigration.

Original poster
Alambil · 28/02/2008 22:32

My mum actually asked her "so if he does get up to speed and corrects everything you've said, where does he sit academically" and she couldn't answer - she said she wasn't able to say because he is not applying himself so she doesn't know

All we wanted to know is would he be (or rather, is he) top, middle or bottom - not a declaration that he is einstein or something!

Is that weird, or is it me?

OP posts:
smartiejake · 28/02/2008 22:38

What planet do these loopy teachers come from?

I blame the ridiculously target driven education system we have in this country.
ORT 3 half way through reception is fab. My dd was at this stage towards the end of reception and she was considered to be quite advanced.

Fine motor control is often not well developed at this age, nor should it be.

Elastic bands to improve the strength in his fingers? Enforced colouring every day?

All that will do is put him off writing and that would be a very dangerous thing to do at such a young age.

He will not "slip through the net" he is simply a bright normal 5 year old.

ShinyDysonHereICome · 28/02/2008 22:47

I would question her teaching methods as much as her communication skills- or lack of

If a child is offered stimulating, fun learning through play based activities they are motivated to learn and develop.

Learning isn't just about reading and writing- it's about being kind, caring and considerate, about investigating new things, taking turns, exploring ones environment.

I would speak to the Head Teacher tomorrow if you can.

You should not have been subjected to that utter rubbish.

mimsum · 28/02/2008 22:48

what a bizarre attitude for a reception teacher to have ...

my dd is 5 and in reception - at her parents' evening her teacher couldn't say enough nice things about her, which frankly is how it should be at this age

she's one of the older ones in the class and considered very able, however she can't write 3 sentences by herself, and certainly couldn't spell words without copying them

they also don't have to get changed for PE, just take off their shoes and socks

unless he wants to do stuff after school, I certainly wouldn't push him to do anything at all - learning at this stage is supposed to be fun above everything else

cat64 · 28/02/2008 22:53

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