What do you wish you'd known before your first DC started reception?

[CarlaTheGnome]

Just that really! DS starts school in September. What should I know about life with a child in primary school? What came as a surprise to you when you were a first timer?

How tired and emotional they are at the end of the school day/week in the early months! My son would come home absolutely exhausted

They always tell you to let your child settle into the new school for a few months before you put them in breakfast club. Nope. If you do that the breakfast club will be full and you’re fucked for the rest of the year, perhaps longer. Get them on the waiting list for breakfast club long before they even start school, and use it whether you need to or not. Otherwise when you do need it you won’t be able to get in.

That we have a two week October half-term here. It came at me so quickly, and I sort of hadn’t fully realised that I couldn’t just take leave from my work.

That caused some stress and last-minute scrambling about for holiday clubs (but it was all fine in the end.)

Also: just how much DD would learn. She’s coming to the end of Reception and can read things like road signs and cereal boxes and she loves writing lists. When she started she couldn’t read at all or write her name yet. (She’s at the younger end of the class, only just turned 5.)

How filthy they get and how tired they get. When school say to name everything they really mean it, so much stuff gets lost/ swapped and obviously it all looks the same!

Strongly second this advice about breakfast club!

Yes how tiring it is for them! My dd kept doing her clubs after school (rainbows and dance) and after a few weeks we had to stop all after school activities and just come home and crash out. Also very emotional and sick all the time. I took her to the gp twice because I was certain there was something wrong with her because of the extreme tiredness and always getting sick but they were very thorough and all came back normal. Also don't compare with others academically or socially - there is a huge difference at this age and it's easy to think your child is very ahead or behind but it all seems to even out a bit more by year 2/3. Some children just take longer to learn to make friends or to read.

That you need more than just one water bottle

That being there early for pick up each day and making friends with the other parents can lead to lifeling friendship and also help to smooth over bumpy socialising stuff between the kids

Donate any outgrown uniform to reception class as it comes in handy when there's accidents or mess

Extremely tired and emotional.
Took til Christmas holidays for mine to fully settle.

That while your child is incredibly special and precious to you he/she is now just one of many so you need to calm the F down

Check if school do a staggered start - we had nearly 3 weeks of half days and because they finished at lunch after-school club wasn’t an option.

Label everything. So many parents talking about lost jumpers on the class WhatsApp - the lost property bin is full of jumpers with no name in. I have a Pilot laundry pen - some jumpers are nearly 2 years old and the name is perfectly clear. We have TinyMe labels for water bottles and lunch boxes, they’re dishwasher proof.

Also on the uniform thing, don’t buy too much. 2 jumpers worked for us, and 3 pinafores, but I got 7 polos. Save a polo shirt unworn at the back of the drawer because photo day is often not at the beginning of the year, and the rest of their tops will have whiteboard marker, red paint, or random playground stains.

If your school website has a calendar read through the whole year in advance, then recheck a month or two ahead at a time - things like odd sock/wear blue/wear a number you’ll most likely need a pound coin and some level of non-uniform.

Bring a snack at home time, especially if you walk. And don’t ask how their day went, they’ll claim not to remember having done anything at all.

Keep surprises to a minimum. We tried to collect our DD ourselves at the end of the first week instead if the school bus, and she was not happy with us. (That being the first day Reception went home on the bus, as it was the first full day... but we had been invited to assembly)

Also... schools give very little notice of things like certificate assemblies. You get an invite on the Wednesday or Thursday for the Friday. Understandably this creates problems with work, but if there is anyone who can attend it really makes them happy.

Oh, and check the local holiday club’s admission policies if you’re planning on using them - ours will only take 4 year olds for mornings so not very helpful for any summer-born kids.

You dont get much feedback. It was a real surprise after the nursery experience where I had a little book each day saying what my child had done and eaten and the nursery staff would hand him over with a comment.

Names on everything
Have spare watter bottles, jumpers, cardigans, sunhats etc
Don't stress about their progress compared to other children
They will probably be grumpy and hungry at hometime!

Buy worming and nit treatment. If you need them, you need them now. Buy a wrap a supply of party gifts and have a selections of birthday cards.

Don’t ask each day how was school today but ask specific questions eg what did you have for lunch? Which book did the teacher read? What did you play at lunch time?

Some school are really good giving notice for assemblies. Out dates are decided in the previous July.

Also on the topic of holiday clubs, and holiday care. Quite a few of them won't take under 5s, and many of them are shorter hours so not helpful for working parents. I would definitely recommend looking at what's available in your area before they start school.

I wish I had known that my DS would not be tired or emotional AT ALL by the end of an ordinary school day. Why would he be? He and most of his friends had been in nursery for years, so reception was no big deal. I didn't sign him up for gymnastics or swimming because I thought it would be too much, and then couldn't get him in because the classes were full.

I wish I had known not to worry about reading, phonics etc in reception. The children have a wide range of abilities and it all evens out in a year or two.

That they are just 1 of 30 and that you don’t get daily feedback like at nursery.

That if they are not a good eater or water drinker they will be really exhausted. Very important that they eat their lunch and drink enough water.

Many are very tired.
Some schools do show and tell and that is the highlight of their week aka showing something.

That settling and making friends is the most important thing and play dates/attending parties can really help with that. All of mine went to the linked preschool so already had friends so settled really easily and are high energy children, however it was much harder for some other children in their classes at the time.

With my first years and years ago the sheer amount of emails the school sent came as a shock. Have a whiteboard type thing to write stuff on for reminders eg dress up days, money required, world book day, bring in a toy, bring in a certificate etc. Share all their achievements outside school too.

Don’t be too worried if you have a child who loses a lot of stuff, they usually get the hang of it eventually. Out of my 4, 2 kept losing stuff for the first couple of years eg water bottles, books, jumpers etc.

Lots of the details really don’t matter. Like a couple of times a year at my school they have a picnic and they send a paper plate home for you to put snacks on. It always causes an enormous kerfuffle amongst the first time parents, what should go on? How should it be covered? Labelled? Stored? When those of us who have done the rodeo a few times just chuck some skips on a plate and call it done. Don’t over complicate this kind of thing, just do your best and muddle through!

Ditto non uniform/dress up days - just put them in something, don’t worry about it too much.

That it’s not a competition. So invested in reading schemes and how much progress was being made etc. Then private vs state.

In the end DS and all his cohort have all gone to decent Unis or got well paying interesting jobs. It doesn’t bear any relation to how they got on academically at Primary School ( mine was rubbish at Maths and is now on a maths heavy degree).

To keep a good eye on how much they are drinking and make sure that they are pooing regularly - so easy for them to get constipated and then impacted.

That schools can completely miss SEN issues, even when you go to them with a list of concerns.
Should have had more confidence in myself.

other school mums are quite nice! i remember reading on her about how awful it was but most people are just there to collect their kids and live their lives and you can get involved or not

Keep unwanted gifts like disliked toiletry sets or pineapple gin etc for the inevitable equest of raffle/tombola donations.

And in the run up to the Christmas/summer fayre, keep all your 50p and£1 coins!

Keeping on top the emails and messages is like another full time job.

You will have 24 hours notice for a dress down or costume day every other week

Keep a supply of £1 coins at home because they need to take one for something at 10 minutes notice

Not all kids are exhausted. Everyone told me how tired they would be. Neither of mine were and one is the youngest in the year.

If you’re disorganised joining the class WhatsApp can be a lifesaver for reminders on what they need to bring/wear last minute.

You’ll have a party to attend nearly every weekend for the first year. After that they dwindle off.

Reading with your child at home is absolute torture of the highest degree unless they are exceptionally gifted and pick it up quickly (mine were not)