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Original poster

What do you wish you'd known before your first DC started reception?

122 replies

CarlaTheGnome · 01/06/2023 08:24

Just that really! DS starts school in September. What should I know about life with a child in primary school? What came as a surprise to you when you were a first timer?

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RightWhereYouLeftMe · 01/06/2023 17:38

Luckyduc · 01/06/2023 17:34

Also, I've seen alot of comments about staggered start. We had one little girl who did this and she lost out on so much learning and is still the bottom of the class 2 years later. She hasn't caught up up struggled so much. Best to just let them go full time from day one.

One child? At most places it's policy for all children. We have nearly 2 weeks of it.

DD's friend from nursery has parents who are both secondary school teachers and they've got 3 weeks of staggered starts to try and deal with when their daughter starts schools in September. No family nearby and obviously cannot take leave so they're debating insisting on the full time place from day one but they don't want to get off on the wrong foot with the school from the start.

Whinge · 01/06/2023 17:44

they're debating insisting on the full time place from day one but they don't want to get off on the wrong foot with the school from the start.

I know it can be difficult to go against what everyone else is doing, but I promise you they won't be the only ones who can't work around almost a month of staggered starts. If they tell the school they want full time places other are likely to step up and say the same, they may not realise it's something they can do and think they have to accept the schools batshit approach. Also if someone had made a point in the past and challenged the school, then the policy may have been changed years ago and your friends wouldn't be in this position.

Mumof1andacat · 01/06/2023 17:56

Sort out your wraparound care now. See what sort of school holiday care is around and book your leave. Worth checking out when the inset days are.

justawee · 01/06/2023 18:01

Prepare yourself for when you ask
'what did you do today' and they say 'nothing'😂
Oh, and don't buy nit stuff, just cheap conditioner and mix with neem oil and use a nitty gritty comb weekly

Samlewis96 · 01/06/2023 18:14

BelindaBears · 01/06/2023 09:26

Yeah this was my experience too. She’d come bouncing out of school full of energy and wanting to do something, when everyone had told me she’d be exhausted and just want quiet time at home.

Show quote history

Yes my son was the same However he had done 8.30 till 6 at nursery so a 8.50 till 3 school day was short

NortieTortie · 01/06/2023 18:22

'what did you do today?'
'erm.. don't remember.'
This for the first couple of years. Unless it involves food.

Freshlycutgrasss · 01/06/2023 18:23

A couple of tips from me

  1. Buy 5 sets of everything - t shirts, jumpers, trousers/skirts. They will be filthy at the end of every day & I don't have time to wash them during the week
  2. Keep a jar with a few pound coins in for when they do they random dress down days, child in need, world book day etc so you're not running around at 8am looking for £1 in coins
  3. Create an email folder for the school - whenever you get a school email move it to this folder so you can easily keep track of them all (& find them when you have to check something)
  4. Check your emails/Tapestry, etc, several times a day - otherwise you can miss updates for the next day
  5. Write the term dates, holiday dates & Inset dates in your diary now so that you are prepared for the next year as they are off school ALOT!! I've got an academic diary that I use so it's aligned with school years as I find that easier to manage
  6. Keep book bag next to the front door so you remember to take it every day
  7. Join the class WhatsApp if they have one. Yes it can be annoying but its really useful for reminders of dress down days, bring a bottle in for the raffle etc.

And finally enjoy it as much as you can - it's goes so quickly.

CamelliaAndPrunus · 01/06/2023 18:25

Apologies if this has already been mentioned, HNRTFT, but paperwork! It's like a little part-time, unpaid admin job for, oo, at least twelve years, more if you have more than one child. Online forms to sign, multiple apps to keep up with to make sure you don't miss important dates like non-uniform days and trips, online payments to make...etc. And just to confuse you if you think you're getting it sussed, sometimes there'll be an old fashioned paper form scrunched in the bottom of your child's bag, asking for a cash contribution in a sealed envelope. You will only find this on the morning of the day it is due, when you have no cash in your purse.

StepAwayFromGoogling · 01/06/2023 18:52

That your Mum friendships will be fundamental for your child. Honestly. It sounds ridiculous but I worked FT - not out of choice - when DD1 started school. I got to know barely any other Mums because I was never at drop off or pick up. Then we went into lockdown. Then when we went back, she was horribly bullied for most of Infants. Neither of us had anyone to fall back on.g If you have close Mum friends your child WILL get invited to playdates and parties. If you don't, largely they won't. Really make the effort early doors to get to know other Mums and invite them for playdates. It will pay off.

littlefireseverywhere · 01/06/2023 19:38

Lots of uniform, buy it a bit bigger & they’ll grow into it.

Ellecollins11 · 01/06/2023 21:45

I would have started using phonics sounds rather than ABC. At my daughters school they never refer to letters other than phonetically, which probably confused my daughter for quite a while

PonkyPonky · 01/06/2023 22:33

Starting looking for second hand phonics books now. You can’t have too many and if your DC is anything like mine they’ll speed through all the levels before you’ve had time to find any for the next level up! If you buy them all new, you’ll spend a fortune and find yourself with a load of books that were only read a couple of times before they became too easy. It’s incredibly surprising how quickly they learn in reception

SadBut · 01/06/2023 22:52

If you do 99percent of pick up and drop offs the ONE time you ask DM or MIL to do it is the time they "want a word "
Maybe it's handwriting
Maybe it's bullying
Maybe it's not eating
Maybe it's reading
Whatever it is, they will ALWAYS wait to the once every blue moon that you don't drop off or pick up to discuss it ConfusedSadHmm

SusiePevensie · 01/06/2023 23:12

That not all children are tired out by school. I was prepared for a shattered kid and instead had Tigger with extra bounce.

Upanddownthemerrygoround · 01/06/2023 23:22

Take a picture of the white t shirt on the first day of term. They’ll never be that white again.

miniegg3 · 01/06/2023 23:22

How many bugs they'll bring home! Ds had been in nursery for 2 years so didn't think it would be that bad, we were all constantly I'll between October to start of May! 🤧

Tothepoint99 · 02/06/2023 00:14

SBAM · 01/06/2023 08:43

Oh, and check the local holiday club’s admission policies if you’re planning on using them - ours will only take 4 year olds for mornings so not very helpful for any summer-born kids.

Same here! We were told to put birth year as 2017 to get around it!

Pheasantpluckerswife · 02/06/2023 02:04

Buy many water bottles... Even if you name things, doesn't mean they're coming home, just get used to it. They're knackered (mood swings) for the first 2 months at least (even if previously in full time childcare) friendships are v fragile expect ups and downs. School holidays (we've not even got to summer yet) are long and hard especially if you're used to full time childcare....

On the plus side my DD is loving school, she loves reading and writing and trying to spell and maths and wants to do it all the time and is a complete sponge for learning. Their character changes a lot... They grow up so much! It's amazing and sad at the same time. Good luck

SprinkleRainbow · 02/06/2023 08:32

We went against the grain and didn't do any homework.
I wasn't going to make it a battle and my very late summer born just wouldn't engage with it.
Now, they want to do it and nag at me to do it 🤣
You have no idea what they do for 6 hours of their day and they could well come out of school with more energy than when they went in.
You can say no to birthday parties, as you'll have endless ones for the first year or so.

TeenDivided · 02/06/2023 08:37

Rather than 'what did you do today' you can try different questions:
who did you sit next to at lunch, can you tell me about the story today, did anything funny happen etc.
If you can get an idea of the structure of the day then you get ideas what to ask about (they may only remember the hour before home time however!)

greenmarsupial · 02/06/2023 08:43

Stick at £1 for any charity donation/dress up day etc.. When the first one came around, my (more affluent than me) friends were discussing whether £5 or £10 was appropriate. I (as a teacher) explained to them how many of the bloody things there are so just have a stock of pound coins.

I was surprised by the sheer number of emails and worse, how sometimes information wasn't in an email. It could be on the classroom door, hidden in a newsletter or worst of all- verbally given to the child to pass on 😱

My piece of advice that probably no one else cares about is to keep one set of uniform back for individual photos. These always take place early in the first term but not before your little darling has covered all of their jumpers in paint. I keep one set in the wardrobe until then. By the time the group photos come round in the summer I don't care anymore but they are also just one small person in a big group so it matters less too.

ArseMenagerie · 02/06/2023 08:44

Label everything EVERYTHING
pack spare clothes including shoes and socks
reading isn’t a race
friendships will be fluid
IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU

Ambi · 02/06/2023 08:46

Not specifically school starting related but a lazy parenting tip is to have the subtitles on when they watch TV. They are reading without knowing it. My kids have always had higher reading ages due to this.

TeenDivided · 02/06/2023 08:48

Ambi · 02/06/2023 08:46

Not specifically school starting related but a lazy parenting tip is to have the subtitles on when they watch TV. They are reading without knowing it. My kids have always had higher reading ages due to this.

Alternatively, this helps with kids with processing difficulties too. Smile

ArseMenagerie · 02/06/2023 08:49

Also- (teacher here) in a day filled with adventures and wonder, outside, inside, laughter and stories …if something bad happened, it will be the first thing they tell you. The one second of unease they felt, it stands out to them, will be their whole chat. “ did you have a good lunchtime?” “Josie pushed me”.
you have to have perspective on this or you’ll be worrying. I’m not saying don’t explore it and don’t speak to the school but most reception days are lovely!