What do you wish you'd known before your first DC started reception?

[CarlaTheGnome]

Just that really! DS starts school in September. What should I know about life with a child in primary school? What came as a surprise to you when you were a first timer?

It can be useful to second name things elsewhere, or consciously sew in tapes using different coloured cotton that shows on the outside. A few parents aren't above acquiring uniform even if clearly named...

And don’t ask how their day went, they’ll claim not to remember having done anything at all.

Except when their having a poo or in the bath and you get the whole days events in 20 minutes!

Label everything, read everything from school, set aside 10 mins on a night to read and reply to emails and newsletters and file emails in school folder , note down dates . it really will help you keep on top of it. If you leave it for a week you'll be overwhelmed and in a panic.
Don't feel need to buy elaborate costumes , really anything in the colour range or bit of face paint is more than fine (and don't rally against these days, the kids love them)

Don't stress about teacher presents, a card for anyone who has helped you (cough, like the office staff, cough) is very very much appreciated

We always found practicing reading was better done before school when fresh than at the end of the day.
Similarly spellings we did at the breakfast table.

That it's a big jump from nursery, our kids were in the school nursery attached to the school not even a private one, but don't anticipate you get to speak with someone when you collect your child. They will literally just send them out the door unless they peed themselves or something 😆.

If you are precious about monitoring what they eat send a packed lunch, you'll never know how much or what they ate at lunch otherwise.

Be prepared to replace lost uniform, a lot. We spend hundreds each year on uniform. My middle child managed to lose 2 brand new jumpers in the first 2 days back last year they reappeared a month later (they were labelled). I was furious, school really don't care, they will just shrug, but then you realise there are 240 kids in the school they don't have time to keep track of 240 sets of uniform.

So yes label everything, even shoes. My daughter came home with someone else's shoe on, they were the same but a different size, I wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't put a name sticker in.

Be prepared to be sending money in constantly.

Join the class whatsapp group they will help you keep track of the 20,000 requests and 12 different apps that you are meant to keep on top of each week.

And finally try not to be "that parent" the teacher has around 29 other kids to look after, although your kid is the centre of your universe at school they are just another kid in the class, don't be the ott precious parent waiting to speak to the teacher every single day.

My DD is starting school in September so this has been useful. But am I being horribly naive to think "how many emails can there possibly be??"

(Will this questions just be met with hollow laughs from parents who thought the same but then found themselves with an overflowing inbox?)

DT’s school only sent one email a week - on a Friday. We didn’t have a WhatsApp group. The school email provided the weekly update covering everything we needed to know.

Lots. We get emails with information on a daily basis, then we get an email with the newsletter, the payment app is also linked to email so you get emails telling you you need to pay things, but it's all automated so the emails aren't even something you owe or need to pay, there's a constant stream. We also have school apps x2 linked to email so whenever anything is posted in that, yep you've guessed it, we get an email. We also get a text message to say we have an email about X or to remind us about y, so there's as many texts too 🤣. I think they average 5+ a day per child, I have 2 in school at the moment but my 3rd starts the nursery next year. My head is going to explode 🤯, we both work ft, it's like another job!

Make the most of inset days! Lots of attractions and days out have term time discounts, especially for 5s and under, so you can save a lot of money making the most of inset days in more expensive places like theme parks, plus queues are much shorter.

That it's not a big deal. I dreaded it for months, years even. Big emotional first day for oldest DD, I cried when she walked in the classroom and felt horrible all day. She came home and had had a great day, wasn't phased by anything. Next DD I will be calmer!

The first and last days of a half term/holidays are manic. Kids forget how to behave at home for a long stretch, no discipline, routine etc. Keep them in a good timed routine to ease them in, give them planned set activities. It's the only way I manage when I have all 4 home from nursery and school.

Buy lots of whitening laundry products. Their white blouses won't stay white. Buy 3 sets of uniforms at least (or as many as you can afford in each size). DD has 3 blazers, and they all get worn.

SO MUCH ADMIN. Portals, apps, emails, letters, forms, booklets, journals to sign etc. It's ridiculous, I'm sick of seeing my signature! And it gets worse when there's a school trip or an event, so many reminders. So many safety letters. So many lists.

Number of emails depends on the school. We get a flurry at the end of half term (update newsletters). Other than that just ad hoc reminders - prob 1/2 a week. School have consolidated the learning apps so we just use Google classroom.

1. That most kids are surprisingly adaptable. Yes it's a massive leap but our school have eased them into this nicely and most of the kids are thriving

2. Don't buy into the whole mum-mafia thing. You may find that some mums are friendlier than others but IME most are just focussed on their own kids just as you likely are

3. Linked with above, be friendly as you can with all mums but try and let your child make their own friends and don't micro-manage their friendships to fit your own friendships. Kids are better judges of character than you think and they'll make more meaningful friendships if you give them space to navigate their own social life. The mum I'm friendliest with is lovely but her child and my child just don't get on so I do nothing to force it. On the same note, don't get cocky if you develop a little gang of mum friends. Be careful not to snub other parents and especially their kids. I've already seen this go wrong at our school and those mums and their kids have turned against one of the mums quite quickly and it's not nice

4. little and often with 'homework' leave reading books and phonics folders lying around so your child can pick when they read. Do lots of 2 minute flashes of their phonics sounds rather than trying to do a half hour session. You'll make better progress and wind them up less this day

5. absolutely no screen time/dicking about allowed until they're literally ready to leave in the morning. Trust me, start as you mean to go on 🤣

Enjoy every second of the next big adventure. This time next year you'll wonder what you were so worried about xx

Don’t ask them what they did that day. Ask them if something funny happened! It’s much more effective.

if your child has to make something to bring in (cereal box robot, for example!) just let them do it even if it looks shit.

This is absolutely amazing, thanks everyone! So much useful info here! ❤️ Definitely feeling better prepared... And slightly terrified 😆

Make sure they can recognise their own lunch box/water bottle/coat etc. The number of times we ask a child if something is theirs and they deny all knowledge 😀

Name EVERYTHING in several places if necessary. Things will come back to you if they are. If not they end up in the smelly lost properly box of hell.

Be nice to the office staff and they will be your biggest source of help and info (I'm not biased at all... 😉).

That time goes so quickly. You have 7 years ahead at that school and it feels like 7 months when your year 6 is about to leave, like mine is.

Always take a snack when you pick them up, and be prepared for “challenging” behaviour at the end of the school day, they are always knackered and starving! Read all the emails/newsletters from school, as they often change PE days or spring a dressing up day/school trip on you! Nothing worse than panic buying in Asda the night before World Book Day! Chat to other Mums at pick up, you dont have to be best friends with everyone but it makes school life more easy and pleasant if you have someone to talk to or ask
for help/advice. Dont bug the teachers with every little thing your kids complain about, they are so busy!

Keep a stash of £1 and 50p in the house, we never carry cash and that first constant request for mufti days and odd socks day donation sent us into a flap.
Keep a stash of random kid related gifts in the house for the various birthday party requests. ( 3 for 2 type or The Works).

Don't buy loads of uniform or branded stuff if you don't need to, mine is now in Year1 and the vast majority gets trashed.

Shoes! Do NOT waste your money on " proper shoes" if you don't need to, they grow so quickly and hate wearing them..bitterexperience £50 Clarks he wore twice!

Snacks.. that first term they will be exhausted, prepare for tired and seriously grumpy,snacks help at pick up!

Oh yes: no laces on shoes on trainers.

That the school will message you at 8pm on a Thursday night to say it’s ‘wear yellow day’ or ‘French food day’ on Friday 🤦🏼‍♀️ then you’re the crazy person trying to decide if odd yellow socks count as wearing yellow at 5am the next morning. If it’s something like world book day, or children in need, just prepare yourself, because they’ll give you one day noticed even though you all know it’s coming! Or is that just my school?

The worst one I've heard of was "dress as Paddington Bear" day.

If not they end up in the smelly lost properly box of hell.

In DS's school there are 3 smelly lost property wheely bins of hell. Everything in them is navy, slightly faded, and crumpled.

Thank you for this. I have 3 at primary and worry so much.