My son only got 1 Xmas card off kids in his class.

[Amidoingsomethingwrong]

He's a lovely kind, gentle boy. He's thoughtful and shares stuff. I don't do playdates at the house as I am a single parent and have a small house and bouncy silly dog so it's just not practical. But equally, at 7 years old he has never been invited to a play date at someone elses House. He seems popular in the football team he practices with. Last night he wrote out 30 cards to give to all his classmates 😭 Are year 2 age kids just not sending many cards this year? Is he getting left out? Perhaps it's the latter which makes me sad. Is it me other parents are avoiding? We live in a very middle class area. Am I making too much of this? My 11 year old got lots of cards from his classmates despite not writing any himself and seems to be more popular for no apparent reason. Just feeling bad for my little one. How can we build on friendships in the new year without having to use my house for playdates.

your daughter didn’t write any despite receiving loads!

I don't have a daughter but I think I kind of know what you mean.

Her 11 year old son didn’t write any despite receiving loads

Only “kind of”

my only error was daughter rather than son!

We haven't done cards this year though my child did get a few back. I'm exhausted and it's a struggle getting him to write them all out anyway so he's just done a small handful for friends he actually wants to send cards to instead of the whole class.

None of my kids got a single card between them. Last year they only wrote cards to reciprocate after receiving one. I used to get through lots of boxes of those little cards but have had the same box for several years now.

DS never gave cards to friends and only received the odd card. If your DS had given cards at least a week ago he may have been more likely to get some reciprocated cards though, some people only do this as they don't want to buy 30 pieces of card that will go in the recycling by New Year but will still reciprocate if given one.

Invite children for playdates. The size of your house or anything else doesn't matter, the children won't care. I had a friend with computer games that ran off a tape player at the same time as another friend had a PC with Sim City. I was just as happy to go to my first friend's house to play.

My kids (reception and y2) chose a few people and then I got them to reciprocate ones they received. The one we got on Monday (second to last day of term) we didn't, as we'd run out of steam (and cards)

No cards from ds [5]class but I knew he wouldn't get any has there are only 3 other children in his class and non of them celebrate Xmas.
DS give cards to his teacher and teaching assistant.

Zero Year 2 cards given and received in our school.

I think people are beginiing to realise that Christmas cards for people you see daily, are an expense you can do without, let alone the environmental footprint. If a class of 30 all give each other cards, that's nearby 900 cards! I'd say most cards from 7 year olds are driven by the child's mum, even if the kids writes them, but 11 year olds are more independent (my 12 year old bought, wrote and gave out her own cards).,

As for playdates - playdates nurture playdates, even if you take the kids out somewhere.

Even if you don’t want to host play dates at your home you have to make some kind of effort if you want your 7 year old son to be invited to other children’s homes.

My year 1 daughter got them from maybe half the class. My nursery aged daughter only got one. They both sent to the full class. There have definitely been a lot fewer cards this year. Even the teachers haven't given out as many this year.

My two in yr3 and 5 both wrote cards for the full class at their request. My younger DS received loads both before and after he took his in. Older DS got 2. He has autism and adhd and I really hope that is not the reason he got so few. I can tell you it has caused upset at home that's for sure 😔.

Definitely don’t over think it. Think it naturally gets a little less as they get older. My daughter before Covid had one from most people in her class as she is very much into writing cards and drawing in them and using way too many stickers etc etc This year she wrote one to everyone but only got 7. If your son is not upset about it is fine. If he is upset you could write one from yourself and post through letter box and get family to do the same and again just pop through letterbox without stamps etc.

My son didn't receive any, but school policy is not to do individual cards due to the environmental impact (and emotional impact if a child/ren is omitted). Having said that, I've only received three in the post so maybe people just aren't bothering this year.

I wrote about 40 cards out for my nursery age son this year. He got about 5 back. Won't do that next year 😂. My year 5 son got about 5 too. I think it's really ok it's way out.

Similar story here, Christmas cards are just not a "thing" this year. I'm not fussed, tbh, I don't think any of us need a longer to-do list.

Popularity isn't all it's cracked up to be; one or two solid, decent mates across class, after school club, and a sports team seems healthier than being part of a singular "in" crowd.

Mine in Year 4,.she got a card mid- week, and I thought oh crap!

Rushed out got a pack of 16. She was allowed to write out 13, and then 3 for her younger sister in reception.

She sent them out, and got about 5 in total returned. But 1 from someone she hadnt given to.

So out again grabbed a pack of 20 cards. She wrote it out to the person who had sent her one.

So depending on how early you send them out you might not get them reciprocated as any that would have been given on the last day, we wouldn't have been able to send any back.

OP I get you. Feel the same for DS sometimes but it's usually my own personal social anxiety that's the issue.

We enrolled him into a local club unlinked to his school. And he's made an abundance of new non school friends - and this has been superb for his self esteem and independence.

And also he wrote 30 cards and had about 5 back. Its an unnecessary stress and expense - we won't do them next year.

None of my 3 kids sent cards. They are year 6, 3 and 1.

My school didn’t get the postbox out this year. We asked children to make a card to display in the class, to the whole class, if they wanted to. We recognise the pressures many of our families are under at the moment, even though, like you say, it’s a “middle class area” and in previous years we’ve noticed problems arise from ‘selective’ card giving where some children are left out/ cards are counted like trophies etc.
We didn’t ban card giving and one or two children did hand out individual cards, but yes, there weren’t as many as previous years.

Ursula’s apparently on the baileys already. Or runs their posts through Google translate.

I wish. Food delivery delayed!

point was… OP’s 11 year old son didn’t bother doing cards despite receiving loads from classmates

So I’m surprised that she’s surprised that some kids like to write them, others (most and increasing with each passing year) don’t and it doesn’t mean anything (unless the reason why the 11 year old DS didn’t write any because he hates every single one of his classmates!)

😄