Opt-out of religious service

[Dalooah]

DC is at primary school and there's an upcoming church service for Christmas. We are not keen on religious 'things' and was wondering what the best way it would be to opt out of this 'activity'. It's not based at school, it's a walk away at the church local to the school. Is it even a possibility to opt out? What would DC do if this was possible? What's the best way to ask?

Thanks!

Yep this. Come on people 😭.

We chose a secular school (closest was CofE) but they still do religious studies and a visit to the local church (which I helped out with even though I’m not religious).

Id still let my children partake in a Christmas church service, jesus/church etc is literally where Christmas originates from 🤷‍♀️

Intolerance comes from a place of ignorance why Can't they go and find out for themselves what happens?
In a multi cultural world education is so important id never stop My children learning about different cultures or religions even though I'm as atheist as they come

I still can't get my head around the fact that in state schools, the government stipulates that collective worship has to take place. Fair enough in faith schools, but I see no purpose in it. You can be of absolutely upstanding moral character and not have a religious bone in your body.
Perhaps by the time the current generation of incoming primary school children are mature, we'll have scrapped this nonsense.

"jesus/church etc is literally where Christmas originates from 🤷‍♀️"

My money would be on the annual deck-the-halls feast and booze-up at the midwinter solstice going back a wee bit further than Jesus.

jesus/church etc is literally where Christmas originates from

I think you'll find the early church tacked Christmas onto long-standing pagan and Roman traditions in a bid to make the new religion more palatable.

Do they want to go? I’m an atheist but would much prefer my child went along with their friends and sang a few carols than remove them from all activities of this kind and have them stuck at school in the office or similar.

Exactly! presumably because the school is good/outstanding with great grades...or "all the village schools are religious". I never get this mentality. If it's so worrying just find another school!

Exactly! presumably because the school is good/outstanding with great grades...or "all the village schools are religious". I never get this mentality. If it's so worrying just find another school!

One miles away with terrible grades? That sounds a lot like discrimination based on religion but if you're OK with that...

Erm ....... not so easy. I live in the middle of nowhere ..... any parent who wants their child to go to a non-aligned primary school would have to do round trips of about 36 miles morning and evening. Need less to say there is no public transport.

The separation of church and state is imperative for democracy. The presence of state-funded church schools is deeply wrong in principle.

Leaning ABOUT religions is fine - and a far cry from being forced to go to a school that pushes one faith as the true path - they all think they are the true path!

ok.... but the true could be said of lots of things re school choices. Many parents have to make difficult choices about where they live based on school choices. Clearly you like living in the middle of nowhere...but you have a choice to move to an area with more school choice if it matters that much to you. I like where I live...but due to the fact I don't like the secondary options locally (for various reasons)....I will likely have to downsize and move. The point is...if it bothers you that much to the point of causing worry and concern..move.

Yes because moving to a totally different part of the country is that easy.

Of course it isn't. However, parents make sacrifices all the time for the "right" school!

How is it discrimination? PP got a place at the faith school didn't they? It's about choice. Accept it and be respectful or go elsewhere...simples.

More than 1 in 3 state primaries are faith school. In my county, like many, it's one school per catchment.

If people of faith saidtheir kids weren't comfortable and their views weren't respected in a third of taxpayer funded state schools, and it was said that the answer was for them to treat a third of the country as a no go area to buy or rent in if they have or may in future hope to have primary age children, there would, quite rightly, be uproar. So why should that be OK with regard to non-believers?

If they are going off site at all surely there should be a risk assessment and a consent form for parents to sign? There would be at my DC school. Not unreasonable to ask for a consent form and further info about the proposed trip.

Also not unreasonable to not provide your consent if it conflicts with your beliefs. I'm sure you won't be the only one in this position.

However, if it were me I would be treating it as a learning opportunity for my DC. Here is how another faith gathers and worships. Afterwards, you could talk about similarities and differences they had noticed. I think it's good for children of different faiths and none to learn about each other and the common values they share. It can help build a more tolerant and inclusive society.

Maybe you could also invite the class teacher to organise an excursion to your place of worship at a special time for your faith.

Most schools will get permission for local walks at the start of the year. We are a C of E school and visit the church at least 4 times a year - we tell parents but we don't ask permission. Equally we might go to the sports field (a couple of minutes walk away) for PE. This could be a spur of the moment decision so parents wouldn't be informed.

Surely understanding others leads to tolerance and acceptance in a multi-faith society.

This. Christianity isn't a disease you can catch.

I absolutely get this and teaching comparative religions is fine - they have shaped so much of history - and caused so much misery and conflict - children need to know this.

But there is a difference between that and attending a service where one religion's "truth" is being peddled as fact. At no point will anyone say to the children: this is what Christians believe, but there are other faiths. And there may be aspects of the service that they will enjoy, which is great, but they need to know that the Christmas story is just that - a story. I find it very hard to hear children being lied to - it is the basis of our role with them to be honest.

And Easter with its gory death cult aspect is not for children and they should not be involved in it. I was terrified by it as a small child where the school chapel was lined with bas relief stations of the cross. Children have 2 options: either they are terrified as I was; or they blank it all out and treat cruelty and dying in a casual manner. Neither is good.

It is absolutely wrong that one faith should be peddled in schools and that the state should fund this iniquitous situation. It is not possible to say .."but parents have choice" - in many areas they do not. The sooner state and religion are separated the better. I say all this as someone who has respect for all my religious friends - they have a right, that I would defend, to believe as they wish - but the state does not have the right to force children to be taught this as fact, whether their parents wish so or not.

When teaching the Crucifixion to children, one always teaches the Resurrection at the same time - that Christ rose from the dead and triumphed over the worst pain, evil and death that human beings could inflict on Him, and still loves us regardless.
That is a deeply humbling and important message to give every child: That they are unconditionally loved by God, and always will be.

important message to give every child - to every child? to children whose families are of a different faith? to those families for whom that assertion is offensive?

This is the crux of the problem - ONE religion is being imposed on children, whether their parents wish this or not.

If parents of a Christian persuasion want to tell their children this, then that is fine - or is it? - but to impose this on families who do not believe this is fundamentally wrong.

The crucifixion was bloody and revolting and however much there are those who believe that it was cancelled out later, we are still showing children pictures of bloody cruelty. Not acceptable. In no way. And not in state schools.

@Babdoc that is what the Christian churches teach and I absolutely respect and would die in a ditch for your right to profess your faith but... many children and their families follow other faiths with different teachings, others are sincerely and thoughtfully atheist (humanist if you prefer). Why should the teachings of the Christian church be privileged, and children obliged to hear them as truth daily, when our society is multicultural and and multi-faith (or none).

The crucifixion and resurrection are profoundly shocking at 4 when they're not part of your cultural hinterland. My DS had screaming nightmares for weeks and by the end of the term was totally alienated from religion of all persuasions - "a plague on all their houses" style - including his father's non-Christian faith. I've worked super hard to turn that around and I'm the atheist in the room. A few years on DS remains firmly atheist but hopefully more tolerant and respectful of religions now, but no thanks to his school or the vicar.

That is a deeply humbling and important message to give every child: That they are unconditionally loved by God, and always will be

Leaving the harder to sell conditional acceptance bit for later.