Opt-out of religious service

[Dalooah]

DC is at primary school and there's an upcoming church service for Christmas. We are not keen on religious 'things' and was wondering what the best way it would be to opt out of this 'activity'. It's not based at school, it's a walk away at the church local to the school. Is it even a possibility to opt out? What would DC do if this was possible? What's the best way to ask?

Thanks!

As others have pointed out there is often little choice but to go to a religious primary - the sooner this iniquitous system is stopped the better, but that's another debate.

There is a difference between opting out of RE (which is about comparative religions, and is just part of general learning) and going to a church service of one particular denomination. If you really don't wat him to do this, then you must say so. I let mine join in these things and then talked with them about it and explained that only some people believe all this.

It is all part of life's rich experience as long as it is balanced with wider information from you. He will probably like the singing, and many churches are fascinating buildings.

Our CoE school says it's not compulsory and you can ask for your child not to take part.

From the gov.uk website on this subject:

"Parents have the right to withdraw their children from religious education and/or collective worship.
From age 16, pupils can choose for themselves to opt out of collective worship if they wish. However, they cannot opt out of receiving religious education without parental consent until they are 18."

I withdrew my child from RE lessons at secondary school and he spent the time in the library doing his homework. He was regarded as the luckiest kid in the class 😁
His sister was offered the choice, she said she preferred the opportunity to argue with RE teachers.

You'd probably have to collect your child at my school. All staff are at church; there wouldn't be someone in the office if it was in the afternoon.

That would depend on the school.Our office staff don't go to church services so would supervise a child not going ( although, as I said, we've never had one not go!)

There is no such thing as "children of faith." There are children who are brought up by religious parents, and those who are not.

The children themselves are a blank sheet - hence the huge responsibility on the adults to think hard about what they write on it.

Perhaps I should have said " children who are being brought up in the Christian faith by their parents" and " children who are not being brought up in the Christian faith by their parents"
We get both.

Disagree. I've known many well informed children with a faith. Some children are more informed, better read and more considered than many adults. The faith may change over their lives but a faith is merely believing. Plenty children believe. Many adults are empty vessels who are scared to even consider anything that might require changes in the way they live their lives.

Just let them go. Why exclude them from what all the other kids are doing. You are making a thing out of nothing. You will be that parent the teachers roll their eyes at. You child will have to stay behind. You are being selfish

My children were opted out of church services at primary. It was never a problem and we were never expected to opt out of nativity plays as well. They usually announce the event and ask permission to take the kids out of school and you just say ' x won't be attending due to our beliefs'.
I never had any trouble with the school. I usually chose to collect mine but they are required to keep them occupied at school if you can’t.

Well I wonder why they bother then! If they don’t have conviction about what they’re doing and why then it’s probably not a very good school.

I agree.

Presumably you are also not celebrating Christmas. It being a "religious thing" and all

Just send them. Then have a chat about how some people believe XXX in the Christian Faith. And that's ok if they believe that- and it's ok if people don't believe that. It's no good preaching tolerance and inclusion if you don't teach them that other people believe different things. My daughters best friends taught their child that while they didn't believe, you need to be respectful of those who do. They school knew this and were fine.

On the whole now, schools tend to teach themes instead. My child goes to a CofE school and each term, they teach something such as 'Helping.' They start with a bible story but then it moves to a wider context- this year they talked about Children in Need and how they can help other people on a daily basis.

Our CofE school had a Jewish family attend and everyone learnt about the major points of their faith. The only thing my youngest really picked up at the time was 'XXX Mummy's made us some lovely bread.' But over time, she was fully aware the XXX had a different faith and they did things differently and believed different things.

The children visit the Church in December and they have a carol singing competiton- which they love- it's turned into a real talking point. In September, they all make tiny Harvest loaves (they love this) and the service is about how the farmers who worked so hard and how we can share what we have with others. All food is sent to the local foodbank. These aren't exclusively Christian themes- these are themes you see in all faiths as well as in the wider society.

she said she preferred the opportunity to argue with RE teachers

Why? Was she assuming all RE teachers would have a faith that she could argue with? I currently know 2 history teachers. They’re both Atheist history graduates who teach both History and RE.

Unless of course you just mean she enjoyed healthy, respectful debates, which is obviously part of good RE teaching.

You can opt out of collective worship at any time. But be prepared to be badly treated by religious zealot teachers. I'm sorry to say it happens far more often than most people would realise.

I am wondering about all the people asking about sending children to CofE primary schools if you are not CofE, where do you lot live that you get a genuine choice of primary schools!

I think you do have the right to opt out. I’m muslim and our closest school is c of e but I personally don’t mind them joining in, I like the idea of harvest etc and they see Christmas everywhere anyway and I don’t see it as a threat to our beliefs. Maybe some contradictions but easy to explain that we all believe in different things. But then I may feel differently if I was atheist or more devout who knows. I think it’s quite nice to get involved personally but yes you should be allowed to opt out.

Gosh yes, how shocking that people might tell your child that God loves them, and asks them to love each other. You really can’t have your child exposed to such dreadful notions, can you, OP.
Far better to miss out on all the fun of nativity plays and carol singing and the whole point of Christmas, while you exclude them from their friends and raise them in a moral vacuum. Happy Atheists Non Festival Day, by the way.

Don’t feel pressured by the people who disagree with opting children out, you are as entitled to your beliefs as they are entitled to theirs. I found that while some parents were disapproving others started to ask how they could opt out too.

It is a legal requirement that education should contribute towards the spiritual, moral, mental and physical development of pupils. The law requires that all pupils at a maintained school must attend a daily act of collective worship.
A parent may request their child is withdrawn from collective worship or they may request their child is partly withdrawn and a school must comply with the wishes of the parent.

We ask parents to provide their own religious instruction of their choice and supervise their children if a whole school event at a church because only one office person stays behind to man the phones.

Have a conversation with school to see how they operate.

I really hope you don't celebrate Christmas or Easter op!

When I have been to such events in the past, it has been fairy inclusive, plus only asked to pray of you want to

I hope they included the elves as well

@cherry2727 Not everyone celebrates Christmas at this time of year you know. We follow many Pagan traditions such as decorating a tree and exchanging gifts on the solstice.

Spring equinox we used to celebrate when the children were little in the Pagan fashion, with chicks, bunnies and eggs. We have always ignored the horrible glorification of human sacrifice though, it's very barbaric and not at all suitable for children.

Why? December 25th was originally birth of Mithra the sun god and the Pagan ritual for that was huge. Then because Christians couldn't control the Pagans they stole it.

"Easter" was just a Pagan celebration of spring arriving hence the chicks and bunnies. Until Christians again stole it.

Nothing better than stealing other religious celebrations to cheat-sheet the creation of your own fake religion. ✝️ 😁

@cherry2727 Not everyone celebrates Christmas at this time of year you know. We follow many Pagan traditions such as decorating a tree and exchanging gifts on the solstice.

Spring equinox we used to celebrate when the children were little in the Pagan fashion, with chicks, bunnies and eggs. We have always ignored the horrible glorification of human sacrifice though, it's very barbaric and not at all suitable for children.
*
Which means you don't actually
celebrate Christmas and that's fine! My question wasn't directed at people like you who don't celebrate Christmas! I just don't understand people who celebrate such events which have strong religious foundations attached but yet want to pretend that they are soo removed from it! It's like sending your kids to a CoE or Catholic school and being upset that they are taught about God! *