Opt-out of religious service

[Dalooah]

DC is at primary school and there's an upcoming church service for Christmas. We are not keen on religious 'things' and was wondering what the best way it would be to opt out of this 'activity'. It's not based at school, it's a walk away at the church local to the school. Is it even a possibility to opt out? What would DC do if this was possible? What's the best way to ask?

Thanks!

Not everyone has a choice. Where I grew up all village schools were C of E. This is the problem with faith schools.

At @Babdoc ’s idea that children not raised as Christians are raised in a ‘moral vacuum’. Of course no Christians have ever acted in a morally dubious way; and of course no atheists have ever grown up to become good, loving and ethical adults who have contributed excellent things to society. What a depressing and medieval opinion. And how nice to see the same opinion that led those morally superior Christians to persecute the rest of us unworthies throughout history are still alive and well today

If we're being disrespectful about other people now, why not celebrate actual Jesus' birthday in April, rather than nicking midwinter festivals?

And we'll keep the evergreens, candles, food, presents and decorations.

You can keep the services and Father Christmas .

@TumbleFryer how is the problem with faith schools ? Isn't it the government's responsibility to open a non faith school and cater for non religious people ?

Is this your choice OP or is it yoir DCs choice?
Attending a church carol service with schoolpals is unlikely to turn them into a religious extremist, is it?

When you say "church service" what actually do you mean? Mass/Communion or a Carol Concert? There is quite a difference between the possibilities, with one end being often cultural, the other more actively religious.

I've managed to attend cultural and religious events across a range of faiths over the years without finding myself bouncing between belief systems. I have learned quite a lot about the communities, friends and faith groups who invited me to share their experiences. My adult DC would say the same.

I find atheists like the moral high ground. We love the view from here. My atheist parents and grandparents taught me to be moral because it was right, not to slime my way to a better afterlife. Talk about self-serving.

it Is a shame that those with religious beliefs who therefore see nothing wrong with a church service have no respect for those parents who choose to opt out. We are not imposing our beliefs on anyone else simply asking for the right to have ours respected by not insisting that our children go to church.

Meh. We are an atheist family and sent our DD to a community primary school. They celebrated all the religions there, learning a bit about the major festivals of each faith. My DD found it quite interesting. Although the guidelines/law state that assemblies should be broadly Christian in nature, and there should be collective worship, this was generally ignored, and continues to be ignored in the secondary school DD now attends. Common themes in religions and humanism such as justice, kindness, and morals are all spoken about. We live in an inner-city, multicultural area.

If she HAD to go to a faith school I wouldn't be happy, but when I had to go to a CofE school back in the 80s I liked the songs and learned about friendship and morals so it's not all bad.

Gosh yes, how shocking that people might tell your child that God loves them, and asks them to love each other. You really can’t have your child exposed to such dreadful notions, can you, OP

Except that's not the full story is it?

That said, even I couldn't get too exercised about a carol service. Kids love anything that breaks routine and neither they (nor the school secretary) will thank you for inflicting a boring hour and a half 'reading' in the school office while their friends lope excitedly along the road and back, OP.

We are weekly church goers and my DS is 3. He goes off to a little side group during the services with the church youth leaders, makes crafts and plays with toys. He has absolutely no real clue about Christianity and he's been exposed to it for years. He doesn't come out of his little group talking about his belief in God for example.

My point is, one single church service for Christmas is unlikely to impact on your child so much that they suddenly declare they want to be Christian. It is more likely that they will come home and tell you about the nativity story or the songs they sang which can then encourage discussions at home about religion and beliefs. It would be no different to a visit to any place of worship to learn about that religion. I also think it can help children (and adults) to learn about each religion so they can understand their community and also make a decision for themselves.

I think you should opt out and I think more people should opt out and be the change, until we are finally done with religion in our schools.

How's this still acceptable? Surely we all know gods and religion are social constructs that served a purpose of governance and cooperation. Do we really still need those to be good and considerate with each other?

And we celebrate festivals because they are part of our culture. No faith needed to like fairly lights at winter time.

“Humility is the mother of giants. One sees great things from the valley, only small things from the peak.”

I find that good people and bad exist both in and out of faiths. Over confidence in one's superior position on the moral highground on account of any beliefs or none can be quite dangerous - critical thinking requires the opposite assumption.

Why are religious people so desperate to insist that our children must go to their church for their own good? Have you no respect for other people's beliefs?

@Sillydoggy Why are religious people so desperate to insist that our children must go to their church for their own good? Have you no respect for other people's beliefs?

But we don't? I don't impose my religious beliefs on anyone of my friends or family members! I certainly don't ask of them to attend church or any events I celebrate in church ! What I find difficult to fathom is people choosing to send their kids to a faith school and wanting to opt out of the very foundation of that school! I wouldn't send my child to a Muslim based school and then ask that he opt of studying the Quran- it's ludicrous!

In my school everyone attends the Christmas church service - there isn't anyone left in school except the site manager, if he's. on duty at that point. Lots of children perform, and the ones that don't, want to see their siblings and friends do their parts. I know the non-religious kids in my school would not want to miss it.
I am atheist myself, but in a C of E school the Christmas service is part of the annual calendar of events and everyone is expected to join in. You could view it as communal singing if it helps.

All schools in the uk are religious we don’t have a choice. Some are ‘non denominational ‘ not non-religious.
Read the thread and you will see all the posts saying that children should not be opted out of Christian church services because it is good for them to be there. I find that quite offensive.

@puddingandsun I think you should opt out and I think more people should opt out and be the change, until we are finally done with religion in our schools.

How's this still acceptable? Surely we all know gods and religion are social constructs that served a purpose of governance and cooperation. Do we really still need those to be good and considerate with each other?

Why do faith schools need to be abolished because you don't believe in God? Just don't use them- simple!! These are your views on religion -doesn't mean it's correct neither does it mean that faith schools need to go just because a vast majority of people oppose to them! Are they causing any material damage to society ??!! And no we don't all believe that gods and religion are social contracts! I don't insult or offend mom religious people I really don't understand why they feel the need to always be rude and offensive to religious people But then again - we don't need god to teach us to be good and considerate do we? Touché

I'm atheist and not keen on religious services in schools. However I live a in country with a Christian heritage and have no problem with children learning about other cultures and religions in school.

I think that unless you do not mark Christmas at all, or any other religious day for that matter, let your children go to the carol service. It's their cultural background. You can explain your views at home, which we did with our DD (and she went to an RC primary). If you take your children out of the classes and out of the services you are marking them out as 'other', and that's a whole different kettle of fish to manage.

Not the practical advice you're hoping for OP, sorry about that, but I admit when I read your post I laughed and said, "Let the DC go, it'll give them something to rebel against later in life!"
Background - grew up with very much "broadly Christian" assemblies, nativity plays, the odd Xmas church service. Ended up as unblessed atheist heathen as ever you could get!

@Sillydoggy tbh I would prefer those who do not want their kids to partake in such the right to do so! I'd very much prefer that for many reasons - I don't see a problem with why they can't opt out if they want to! I just hope those asking to opt out are not referring to their kids who attend faith based schools such as Catholic/ CoE- then that's the problem you see.

cherry2727 I hope you can see that others on this thread have taken a much less tolerant position? I also would remind you that parents in some areas do not have a choice even between non-denominational and faith schooling. Some areas only have a faith option so some parents end up stuck in a religious school against their wishes because the council send them there.

“I think you should opt out and I think more people should opt out and be the change, until we are finally done with religion in our schools.”

Well seeing as the CofE basically initiated state education in this country and still own the land and buildings of a third of the schools, I wouldn’t hold your breath.

@Sillydoggy I completely understand that there are cases where parents do not have a choice between a faith and non faith school . My comments are particularly aimed to those who do have the choice and still select a faith school. I personally know people who do so and then complain about the religious aspect which leaves me aghast !

My son attends a Catholic school and one of the parents on our Whatsapp group complained about their child coming home singing religious songs -I really didn't understand this at all! There are 4 primary schools within our catchment and this is the only faith based school so was quite shocked as to why someone would choose such school having such opposing views on religion.

Why not ask the teachers how they will be accommodating the non-Christians? Most are well aware that this is a consideration.