How to change school policy

[Pookielumchum]

There's a school policy i believe needs changing. I reached out to other parents on a private parent Facebook group, and it turned out several parents agreed with me. I went to the headteacher and said, I and these other parents want change. Can we address the policy." She said that no one had minded before. So it wasn't a problem before I brought it up. And it wouldn't be appropriate for me to bring the other parents in with me. And she wouldn't accept a poll showing all the parents who want a change. How is one supposed to fix things, if not by working together as a group of parents?

Absolutely.

Why don't they do that anymore?

They don't remove their underpants when changing for PE. At that age their bodies are essentially the same. There's no need for single sex changing in reception. Just like it would be perfectly acceptable for a 4-5yo girl to wear swim shorts and no top in a swimming pool.

Why?

It's interesting to me that many of the parents are instinctively conscious, though. And dress their girls in extra clothes. Is this an impulse those parents need to learn to repress?

So, i know one other parent called. Both of us, separately, were told no one had ever raised the issue before.

My DC's school didn't even have single sex toilets in reception ( they had toilets in the classroom which is far more beneficial at that age). They're still on wearing P.E. Kit on P.E. days but given my youngest (now year 2) is still happy swinging from the monkey bars in a skirt I doubt they care. DS is 10 and has only just started shutting his bedroom door when changing ( if he does have to change at school older years are allowed to use the toilets, but I assume they're trusted to be sensible and not need help as there is a male member of staff in year 6).

When my ds was in primary they were taught change top /top then bottom/bottom.... tbh the only reason i know is my ds found it confusing.

Yabu toilets are completely different.. teaching children at 4/5 to be vembarresed about there body is odd.imo

So if those reception children were having school swimming lessons the school would be ok with the girls just wearing trunks? I doubt it very much.

School Governors. There will be Parent Governors and should be listed on school website so speak to them and they will raise the issue on your behalf. It will then be noted on the meeting minutes so has to be addressed.

So. If they ought not to be embarrassed of bodies at this age. Why don't they still do PE in their pants?

You do understand that knickers and underpants cover their private parts? They are not exposing their bodies.

Parent Governors aren't mouthpieces for the parents. They're drawn from the pool of parents, but they're not reps and they have the same purpose as every other governor - viz, to be a 'critical friend'.

Because in our culture underwear is for under other clothes.

As a matter of interest OP, do you go swimming with your DD? How do you/she cope with all the male bodies then? Or do you go to single sex sessions only? What will you do for school swimming lessons? They will change by sex then (as getting naked) but she will see just as much of the boys' bodies then in the pool.

I'm very onboard with the idea that we should teach children from day dot they don't undress in front of people they are uncomfortable with or if they don't feel comfortable to do so.

Children often see human bodies in just bra and knickers this clothing or boxers/underpants if they visit swimming pools or beaches.

I also spent many years living abroad where breast weren't seen as sexual objects like they appear to be here and people went topless (even visiting Brits!)

So I'm less inclined to go with the argument they should hide bodies and they are something to be hidden - but I would be very concerned if a child expressed a desire for privacy and it was denied.

Do you have a male partner? If you do, and he is out and about with your DD and she needs the toilet, would he send her in the ladies' on her own or take her in the mens' ?

I am a huge advocate for single sex spaces and am very GC. But I don't see the need for single sex changing in reception. I have 2 primary DC including a daughter and at this age it didn't cross my mind. Like pp have said, they keep their underwear on anyway so their bodies are the same. As I understand it, single sex changing starts in year 3/4 at their school. We can teach our children (boys and girls) about body autonomy and consent from toddler age but until my daughter starts to have an understanding of how bodies change/puberty/etc I don't see the real need to start suggesting that she needs to see little boys' bodies as something that she needs to avoid and see as hugely different. My DC see each other naked at home all the time with no bat of the eyelids.

Plus in the ks1 toilets at our school the loos are attached to the classrooms and I think they're mixed sex anyway?

Perhaps I have misunderstood your worries op. As I said, I fully support females' rights to safe single spaces but to keep young children of that age segregated for pe changing is perhaps taking it a bit too far, in my opinion.

You are way overthinking this for reception age. They change their tops, then change their bottoms, noone is left standing in class in only their underwear. Do you really want precious time and resources taken up by this non issuee?

If another parent tried to get support from me for single sex changing at this age I would tell them they were barking!

It's pretty clearly a values issue. I see it as inappropriate. Some don't. My issue is that mixed sex changing is also poorly accomplishing all of the objectives assigned to it. It's a facilities-based tradition looking for an objective.

... Or it's a facilities-based pragmatic way of working that 99% of people don't have an issue with at Reception age.

If the class teacher were male would you object to them overseeing changing for PE?
If you had a boy would you object to a female overseeing his changing?

I am all for single sex changing spaces for older children and adults, but......have you ever been in a Reception class PE changing session?! It's utter carnage! No one is going to worrying about looking at anyone else!

You honestly need to get a grip! You are the problem here

You have the option to find a school that has this policy in place, one that agrees with your values.

He uses a family bathroom so he can take in them buggy with our other two children.