Fine/ prosecution threat over 5 yr old lateness

[Pullingmyselftogether]

A new head has just stared at my son’s school- he’s 5. Was 3 when pandemic hit so most of school life has been in and out of lockdowns. He’s never settled in school (would cry at gates etc even before pandemic).

Post pandemic, it just got worse - every morning kicking and screaming and crying from the moment he woke. So talked to school and we came up with a plan, which involved things like arriving through a different, quiet part of school to calm him etc and school was understanding.

The first correspondence we get from the new head this week is a shitty, impersonal letter stating how many times he’s been late (loads, I admit) and that we may be fined/ prosecuted if he’s late in the future. He’s 5!! And just come out of a pandemic!!

anyone else experienced anything similar post covid? Any advice? Didn’t respond as I wanted to calm down...

[ImustLearn2Cook]

That is awful. Honestly, that would make me consider changing schools.

[CorsicaDreaming]

We had similar with our DS9 and a new head recently. Ours had needed a week off for D&V And another for a fluey cold with high temp. I sent an email to head saying we agreed schooling v important, etc - but this was why.
And then got another nice email back from her.

If it was me I'd try and have a non confrontational chat with head and explain issues to try and get them on your side and hopefully offering helpful solutions.

I'm wondering if Dept of Ed has mandated they must write to all under a certain percentage of attendance recently?

[Pullingmyselftogether]

Thanks, ImustLearn2Cook.

yes, I know, we’ve considered this and we’re on waiting lists atm. My partner said this was the nail in the coffin for him, but I was curious as to how common/ uncommon this was as things get ‘back to normal’...

but yes, it looks like we’ll do that as soon as we can now.

[Pullingmyselftogether]

Thanks, CorsicaDreaming.
Good advice.
I suspect this may have been the case with external assessment of attendance etc, and I’ll book an appointment in the morning.
I think we were taken aback as the letter was impersonal, cold and aggressive.

[HairyBum]

utterly ridiculous, the school should be working with you and your child to build positive relations and strategies to resolve the issue. This is a very common issue and can stem from school based anxiety, sleep issues, being over whelmed or over stimulated post pandemic, bullying or SEN. The head sounds Victorian rather then progressive. If this anxiety spirals for your child, it might be worth talking to your health visitor or Gp about the issue as they might have suggestions about how to support your child

[Pullingmyselftogether]

My thoughts on it too- thanks, HairyBum.
we’ve had other ‘Victorian’ type teaching attitudes in this school before, so it’s not just the new head- although I was hoping she would be a breath of fresh air... seems I was hoping for too much.

[girlmom21]

Is DS late because of this process? If it was pre-agreed I'd expect him to be marked present, not late.

[BishyBarnyBee]

He's not being threatened with a fine, you are. The fact he's 5 has nothing to do with it. He's not responsible for getting himself to school on time. You've said you've been late loads - you need to take responsibility for that and find a routine that works to get him there on time.
It's quite rare to hear of someone being fined for lateness, is there a wider attendance issue too?

[Isaidnoalready]

Why is he late if adjustments have already been made for him

[Hercisback]

As rubbish as the letter is for you to receive, schools have to be seen to be doing something re lateness and low attendance.

Please don't take it personally. You know your circumstances and why he is late. Ignore and bin.

[1AngelicFruitCake]

How is he once in school?
He might ‘only be 5’ but he’ll be learning loads at this age. The problem with being late each day is that he’s missing learning, which will add up after a while.

I think school handled it badly but perhaps now is a time to try a new approach.

[girlmom21]

@1AngelicFruitCake

How is he once in school?
He might ‘only be 5’ but he’ll be learning loads at this age. The problem with being late each day is that he’s missing learning, which will add up after a while.

I think school handled it badly but perhaps now is a time to try a new approach.

If he's late it'll disrupt the learning of others too, which is unfair as it's hard enough to get 30 5 year olds to concentrate at the best of times so distractions are never helpful.

[WhatsHoppening]

I appreciate its hard but to be honest you need to stop being late. Get up earlier, be firmer, whatever you need to do. School is non-negotiable and neither is the start time.

[Imsittinginthekitchensink]

We have hardly 'just come out of a pandemic' - schools have been back full time for over a year.

[Oblomov22]

What other tactics have you tried? Is there not a better solution? There really shouldn't be any reason for lateness.

[SurpriseSurprise]

I think you need to start being a bit firmer with your DS too. How is he when he’s in school? Is he settled or is there a problem with it like bullying? At the moment he knows he can get away with it, they’ve made provisions for you so why not get there earlier and go through the quiet way. By him being late it might be making the problem worse

I’d say usually change schools, but as he’s unsettled that might just make things worse

[Soontobe60]

If he’s 5, he could only be in Reception or Year 1. Let’s say he’s in Y1 and will be 6 before 31st August. He wouldn’t have even been at school before the pandemic, which started in March 2020. He may have been in Nursery. Schools have been back to normal for over a year.
How many times has he been late / not attended at all?
An attendance letter isn’t meant to be a cosy little note, it’s meant to be factual. They’re usually only sent if there’s a real issue with attendance. If your child’s lateness / absence is less than 90% that would usually trigger attendance monitoring in our school.

[toomuchlaundry]

How late is late?

[GiltEdges]

@BishyBarnyBee

He's not being threatened with a fine, you are. The fact he's 5 has nothing to do with it. He's not responsible for getting himself to school on time. You've said you've been late loads - you need to take responsibility for that and find a routine that works to get him there on time.
It's quite rare to hear of someone being fined for lateness, is there a wider attendance issue too?

Did you even read the OP?

[CraftyGin]

@Pullingmyselftogether

A new head has just stared at my son’s school- he’s 5. Was 3 when pandemic hit so most of school life has been in and out of lockdowns. He’s never settled in school (would cry at gates etc even before pandemic).

Post pandemic, it just got worse - every morning kicking and screaming and crying from the moment he woke. So talked to school and we came up with a plan, which involved things like arriving through a different, quiet part of school to calm him etc and school was understanding.

The first correspondence we get from the new head this week is a shitty, impersonal letter stating how many times he’s been late (loads, I admit) and that we may be fined/ prosecuted if he’s late in the future. He’s 5!! And just come out of a pandemic!!

anyone else experienced anything similar post covid? Any advice? Didn’t respond as I wanted to calm down...

Make an appointment to discuss this with the new head.

[mistermagpie]

@toomuchlaundry

How late is late?

This. Is it two minutes because of the adjustments you've made, or is it half an hour or whatever? I think this makes a difference.

[ILoveYoga]

Communication is really needed here. This is a new hard. They need to be made aware of your son’s issues and the plan that was agreed.

[CloseYourEyesAndSee]

We haven't just come out of a pandemic. School has been back to normal for well over a year. Why are you late loads? That's got nothing to do with his feelings about going to school surely?

[1AngelicFruitCake]

I would also say it’s not helpful to keep talking about Covid. Yes they missed time off school or Nursery in your child’s case but you said yourself they were like this before Covid.
How would they be to almost start again, explain they are going to school, keep it matter of fact. Keep calm even if you aren’t and quickly hand over to the teacher, see if a member of staff could be at hand to take your child straight in. The staggered drop offs should have been a temporary thing to help improve things so it doesn’t sound like it’s worked enough to continue.

[MissMaple82]

I find it odd that your using the pandemic as part of the problem here, my child is 6 and wasn't at school pre covid, and has been back to normal for ages. I'd say the problem lies with you for not getting up earlier to allow time to deal with possible meltdowns and also for not communicating your issues to the school, how are they to know your having problems. Schools have rules and a child keep turning up late is disruptive to the entire class so the letter was inevitable.