North London DS at nursery looking at 4+ - tutor?

[dadwithbitofaclue]

Our son is currently in nursery in North London.

He is registered for many of the annoyingly highly selective schools in North London (most for 4+). We really don't want to sit him for so many competitive schools as it's a massive toll on him so we'd like to narrow down probably to 3-4 schools but of course that puts him in a situation he may not have a school to go to if he doesn't get in (his nursery goes to 4+ only really).

I understand there are a few tutors who help us thinking through the assessment processes and how we can help our DS thrive when them (we don't want to HEAVILY tutor him as it's all a bit fake, is not helpful for DS and schools see through it or so they say). But would love a bit of help - I hear there is a tutor or two in North London who specialise in 4+ assessments. I know I will get heat for asking but every little helps when there are between 5 to 10 applicants per place at these schools and can be a bit of a lottery.

Can someone pls PM the details of these tutors?

Please re-read your post back and take a minute.

YOU are the ones who have registered him for the “annoyingly” highly selective north London schools. Instead of sitting for just one or two of these and another two less selective schools (there are plenty in the area and some are excellent), your solution is to try and tutor your three / four year old?

What will happen if you tutor him and he still doesn’t get a place at a selective school?

You really do need a backup plan.

And do you know, some children go to state schools (and get into annoyingly highly selective unis too).

but of course that puts him in a situation he may not have a school to go to if he doesn't get in

No it doesn't. State schools and non-selective privates are also an option.

And going to 4+ assesments shouldn't be taking a toll: they are supposed to be closer to play dates than to assessment centres. Weed out any schools that are known for annoyingly intense assessments and take him to all the rest that you want. But please change your mindset. You're clearly very anxious about this and it will rub off on your poor son if you keep it up like that.

I have a child at one of those 'annoyingly highly selective schools' in London and would not recommend a tutor to anyone.

You don't say how old your child is but I strongly believe in only sending your child to one of these schools if they are able to get in on their own merit. This does, of course, mean being prepared for an aspect of the assessment but does not require a tutor to do so.

Your nursery should be the ones guiding you here, not strangers on a forum. If you were considering a private education, I am assuming that you are sending him to a nursery familiar with the selection process of private schools. They know your child and will be able to guide you which schools are appropriate for him and worth applying to. We listened to everything our nursery said when selecting schools.

The other huge factor for the assessment is what you do with your child. Activities which develop their gross and fine motor skills are essential from a young age, as is reading, describing, talking lots all the time. Schools are looking for children who have potential and are teachable.

Another note is to spend time looking at the schools and seeing how they operate and whether that suits your child. That should help narrow it down significantly

Proof that parallel universes exist if ever proof was needed.

4+ assessments should be fun and more like time at nursery - a few activities and a bit of observed play. Register for a few less selective schools as well and send him to all the assessments without tutoring, I say. If he doesn't mind meeting new adults and can behave well for an hour he should be fine.

OP the only tutoring a toddler needs is from those around them every day or nearly everyday.

So if your toddler isn't showing natural curiosity in things including letters and numbers then he simply hasn't developed those skills yet.

Children develop at different rates and failure to get him into one of those schools at 5 doesn't mean he's a failure for life.

The thought of 4 year olds being assessed and selected for schools based on this actually makes me really really sad.
He’s a child. Just let him be a normal child, take him to a couple of these assessments if they are play based otherwise apply for a normal state or private school.
What are you going to be like when they do their A Levels

OP, I do understand where you are coming from. Unfortunately I think you are going the wrong way about it. I have three children, probably the same intelligence level (oldest at top school, middle one smashing CAT scores).

Of my children, only my youngest would have passed a 4+ (We did not go for selective primary schools). The reason is that I was home with her. We talked about things, discussed silly things like “mummy is grumpy until mummy has a coffee, it is caffeine in it and mummy needs that. We read books because it was fun. We talked about the books. I never stopped talking to her (mainly because I am an older mum and she was the only one I talked to during the day).

My older children had a nanny. They were more into sports and talking to their friends. The nanny was amazing but didn’t spend as much time explaining the world to them (putting them in a high chair when cooking, chatting about the food, giving them a wooden spoon, letting them smell the spices).

My older ones are not less clever and will not go to less good universities. They just focused on other things early on. Many tutored children are unable to get into top schools. There is a limit to what tutoring can achieve.

@shallIswim

Proof that parallel universes exist if ever proof was needed.

@shallIswim - quite! I didn't even know there was such a thing as 4+ assessments for schools, let alone tutoring...so a 3/4 year old can be deemed not bright enough for a school? A 3 or 4 year old?!!

Wow...just...wow...

My children did assessment for North London school entry at 2/3 (to go into Nursery- the school has now moved it back a year).

There is no need for a tutor. Just do lots of imaginative play, drawing, talking about the world, get them used to scissors, etc. Not sure how much will be expected in terms of letters/numbers. At that age a lot of it is just luck as to how they feel on the day.

To those being horrified, this is standard for entry to academically selective schools in London. The schools are just normal primary schools, not mini hot houses.

People tutor 4year olds???!!! Seriously all a child needs is a home that encourages communication, intrigue- plenty of sleep and good nutrition. Can’t think of a better way to ruin learning for a child than to sit them with a tutor so early on

Good grief.

@0verth1inker

The thought of 4 year olds being assessed and selected for schools based on this actually makes me really really sad. He’s a child. Just let him be a normal child, take him to a couple of these assessments if they are play based otherwise apply for a normal state or private school. What are you going to be like when they do their A Levels

This.

Academically selecting children at 2/3/4 is flawed, surely? Children change so much in the early years, 'bright' toddlers might be 'average' 7 year olds, children who aren't speaking in full sentences at 3 are then well above average by 8 - a child may be suspected of being academically gifted at 3 or 4, but it would be very unusual for it to be a certainty at that age.

And no, they're not just 'normal primary schools' - normal primary schools don't turn away toddlers for not being bright enough. Academically selective schools at 4 just don't make sense.

They are normal primary schools in the sense that once you’re there, they’re normal. These schools are massively over-subscribed. What would you like them to do?

@JumperandJacket

They are normal primary schools in the sense that once you’re there, they’re normal. These schools are massively over-subscribed. What would you like them to do?

I dunno - send Tiberius to the local primary like 99% of the population do? All the children I know who are at highly selective secondaries went to bog standard primaries.

Poor isn't catching you know.

Poor isn't catching you know.

This line relates to absolutely nothing I have said.

Actually reading back, you’ve misunderstood my question. To rephrase- how would you like oversubscribed schools to select the pupils they take?

It blows my mind that this happens in the real world...... Selected at 3 & 4?!?!? Like other PP's have said - there are non-selective alternatives out there and they'd do just fine in life.

@JumperandJacket

Poor isn't catching you know.

This line relates to absolutely nothing I have said.

It really does. You said 'what would you like them to do?' as if the alternatives to a super selective primary school either don't exist or are absolutely abhorrent.

I couldn't think of another reason why you were so horrified. What was it?

@Clymene My question was, what would you like the school to do?

@Clymene Do you live in London, btw?

Poor child

You don’t need a tutor; it’s a waste of money at that age. Regular play based learning daily with you for a few minutes and going to preschool is more than enough. Spend lots of time reading
and discussing books.