Why do we send children to school so young

[sandcastles1]

Just that really - I'm feeling really disgruntled with our school system and why we make children go into full time education from the age of 4. My dc just started and is enjoying some of it and hating lots of it. She loved the first week when it was half days. For the past four years she has been either with me or her dad - we would take her out into the woods every day. Now she's cooped up in a small room/playground for the whole time. I could have home schooled her I know but didn't think that was the best thing socially. I can see the benefits of them going but 5 days a week 9-330 just seems harsh. Why couldn't it be three days. I know up until 5 we can take them out but just wondering how others feel as I'm missing my daughter a lot, she doesn't want to be there most of the time and I really now see the virtues of other countries that don't start full time until 7. Yes it means we can work, but why is that the norm? People that don't want to spend more time with their kids could find other care the rest of the time.

Fair comment. Agree that some kids are better started to going earlier but it should not be a blanket rule for all

@Coffeepants

Have I said my or anyone else children are not ready to learn or be challenged? I am questioning the rigid learning system which to me is much more narrow than the range of experiences they would be offered if not in school for 6+ hours a day

Exactly!

We just want to be a bit closer to and a bigger part of their learning journey - but we are in the minority.

I'm surprised people don't want to be just that little bit more involved.

Have your children started school yet?

Thanks for the suggestions, we have started scooting to school so it’s fun for them and do a playground stop on the way home.

I think my perspective is that school in itself is not the issue, rather than they start as young as 4, with the expectation to be so grown up when really they are still developing.

Yes there’s hours after school and weekends but impossible to squeeze it all in without exhausting them, they are only 4! I have found reception so far so good but will definitely look at home school for year 1 or alternatives that are more play based as I don’t feel we need to train them to be compliant at sitting at a desk for hours a day at such a young age.

I am really involved. I don’t get how not. There’s so much time to do stuff.

Weekends, after school and holidays.

But my youngest doesn’t have homework, clubs every day as pp said - just some at weekend. So loads of time. Plus she is a Duracell bunny - huge energy until later on than some.

Without criticism to anyone, my observation is that it’s a mixture of circumstances and perception that kids are happier in school, that makes it more “convenient” to accept it as it is.

I see mums enjoying their free time after school drop off and I would much rather be going on an adventure with my children.

IMO you’re never going to regret having spent more time with your children. Everything else will likely still be there, their childhood will not.

@Coffeepants

Have your children started school yet?

Thanks for the suggestions, we have started scooting to school so it’s fun for them and do a playground stop on the way home.

I think my perspective is that school in itself is not the issue, rather than they start as young as 4, with the expectation to be so grown up when really they are still developing.

Yes there’s hours after school and weekends but impossible to squeeze it all in without exhausting them, they are only 4! I have found reception so far so good but will definitely look at home school for year 1 or alternatives that are more play based as I don’t feel we need to train them to be compliant at sitting at a desk for hours a day at such a young age.

No, she is 3 so doesn’t start till next year. But she currently goes to nursery for longer hours than she will go to school, so I have experience of fitting activities with me into the hours she’s not at nursery.

Hope you find something that works for you - but more importantly for your child.

@MarshaBradyo

Op they genuinely love it. I have three different ages.

The youngest bounds in so happy to see friends. Picked up at 3.15 to do stuff.

The middle is yr 7 and definitely prefers all the co curricular he had picked up at new school. 100s of things to choose from. I feel like he’s in his element stretched academically and physically etc
Loves it

Eldest prefers to cook, gym or friends

But yes I’ve been around a lot and have done many new hills! And made many cakes. After the pandemic the idea of taking what they like (school) away again is what worries me. I saw so many posts talking about reduction - they don’t need that.

@MarshaBradyo - have you asked them directly if they'd enjoy one more day/ half day at home doing something with you? It might lessen as they get older, I recognise that, but aged 4-7 - 30 hours can't be necessary.

Lots of work places are starting to move to 4 day weeks, keeping salaries the same recognising it helps people work smarter. If adults need it - I'd imagine a 4 year old might benefit too.

@Coffeepants

How dare a mother (or even, heaven forbid, a father) enjoy some time to themselves.

They should be planning adventures, or ironing their hair shirt whilst counting down the minutes until the children get out

@Coffeepants

Without criticism to anyone, my observation is that it’s a mixture of circumstances and perception that kids are happier in school, that makes it more “convenient” to accept it as it is.

I see mums enjoying their free time after school drop off and I would much rather be going on an adventure with my children.

IMO you’re never going to regret having spent more time with your children. Everything else will likely still be there, their childhood will not.

I just can’t at this

I hope you get the homeschooling set up you want soon.

All kids are different. Some need structure some hate structure at a young age.

My daughter is yr 4. Enjoys school, does really well, was keen to start reading etc young, she gets on with it at school, but she absolutely loves her free unstructured time where she chooses what she does with play. She always, and I mean very regularly tells me she likes school but why does it have to be 5 days!!

She is one who loves her free time, hates structure yet gets her head down at school and gets on with it. I have friends kids who need and thrive on structure and are at a loss without it. They are all different. The only thing that comes out from this thread is the totally lack of flexibility with education. It's a one size fits all. Flexi schooling is a fab option for many and I and my daughter would love that but it's not realistic for us and even if it was it's very hard to get support from most schools to do that.

How? Weekends and school holidays?

Assuming they wake at 7, leave for school at 8:30, get home around 3:30 and go to bed around 8:30.

That is a total of 6,5 hours a day with them. In which time no clubs, but at a bare minimum dinner, baths and reading and breakfast, getting ready for school. Maybe homework?

So conservatively let’s say all those activities take up 2,5 hours. That leaves 4 hours assuming you’re 100% focused on them, not doing laundry, cooking, errands, working, phone calls, looking at your phone.

Maybe okay for older kids but not for 4 year olds. And not for me

I just can’t at most of the comments on this thread.

Personally I’d just like to be able to do more stuff with them like I did in the last 5 years, quick ice cream or hot chocolate dates, going to museums, the playground, having picnics, taking the tube, etc. we still do all these things but it now has to be condensed into a Saturday/Sunday.

But this is life for most people with a 5 day a week job, isn't it? Why do you feel it's specifically different when it comes to children? Most people would love to be able to go for ice cream or hot chocolate rather than go to work...

What I find baffling about this thread isn't that you would theoretically like to have more time with your kids and that you think it would be nice for them to have less time at school, it's how you actually think that could fit into the world of work for parents?

Did I say you’re never allowed time to yourself?

I run 4 times a week alone, meet friends for coffee and or dinner, etc.

Obviously school is easier for many cos we can dump them their for hours while we get out bails done in peace and quiet.

I think you’ll enjoy a homeschool crowd. Why wait?

I make it work for me which is unique to my circumstances, obviously. Most people don’t want the change so nothing will happen to drive that change.

Hopefully all people who love and adore their kids! Can’t wait, will start researching now

Can’t believe you’re not already doing it.

Can’t believe you’re still arguing it. People are entitled to their opinions which don’t align with yours. We are not all pack animals for follow the herd

You can it’s the endless put downs that I’m bemused by.

Now the lack of love stuff. Okayyy

Anyway I think you should not follow the herd and be happier than you are. Just try not to insult others in the process.

On the contrary, I have found it very insulting when others insist because it works for them and their families, we should all be dying to send our kids to school. That we are not able to provide learning for our kids and that 4 year olds really need to be challenged in school.

I apologize if I have insulted you, it was not my intention. I just struggle to understand why we can’t respectfully accept that people have other opinions that may not align with ours.

It’s very much oh you’re talking rubbish because my children have seen me for 12 mins a day for the last 20 years and they are perfectly functioning adults .

@MarshaBradyo - did you see my post? Have you asked your kids directly which they'd prefer? Weds pm at home with you doing something or in school?

What do you think about the fact that work places are reducing to 4 day weeks keeping salaries the same recognising that people work smarter that way - do you think 4 year olds might benefit from that too?

Reception is mainly learning through play - OP, most school receptions are happy to have parent volunteers, have you thought about volunteering in the class? You can see whats happening.

If your dc didn't do preschool, then yes, they will take more time to settle without getting tired, its so stimulating for them, so much to learn, and if not used to being around large groups of other similar aged dcs, that alone will be tiring.

But if you dont think the standard state school is right for you, have you explored other options? There are some forest school based private pre-prep schools near us that go until year 3. Private schools are usually smaller classes/higher staff numbers per child. It wasn't financially an option for us, but if it is for you and you don't want to home school, worth exploring.

Both of my dcs were more than ready for school, but dc1 is a winter baby and could already sound out words before starting, dc2 is a summer baby, but is so social compared to dc1 and wanted to spend all day with other kids, not me ! Both dcs had other friends who clearly weren't ready for another year. It is a shame they don't do intakes at January and April anymore for those who are younger and not ready.

@Coffeepants It's abundantly clear that you have been the most insulting and personal commentor here. Constant digs about how much people love their kids etc. That's why people don't appear to respect your opinion.

[quote sandcastles1]@MarshaBradyo - did you see my post? Have you asked your kids directly which they'd prefer? Weds pm at home with you doing something or in school?

What do you think about the fact that work places are reducing to 4 day weeks keeping salaries the same recognising that people work smarter that way - do you think 4 year olds might benefit from that too?[/quote]
Who are these work places reducing to a four day week? I work in corporate finance and we aren’t nor are any of our competitors or firms we work with.