Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Original poster

Why do we send children to school so young

511 replies

sandcastles1 · 20/09/2021 10:35

Just that really - I'm feeling really disgruntled with our school system and why we make children go into full time education from the age of 4. My dc just started and is enjoying some of it and hating lots of it. She loved the first week when it was half days. For the past four years she has been either with me or her dad - we would take her out into the woods every day. Now she's cooped up in a small room/playground for the whole time. I could have home schooled her I know but didn't think that was the best thing socially. I can see the benefits of them going but 5 days a week 9-330 just seems harsh. Why couldn't it be three days. I know up until 5 we can take them out but just wondering how others feel as I'm missing my daughter a lot, she doesn't want to be there most of the time and I really now see the virtues of other countries that don't start full time until 7. Yes it means we can work, but why is that the norm? People that don't want to spend more time with their kids could find other care the rest of the time.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
MarshaBradyo · 23/09/2021 13:59

Op you can be dumbfounded all you like.

But if the minority want change seek it out.

There are alternatives available.

I don’t want dc to have less of school they enjoy it.

Coffeepants · 23/09/2021 14:03

Finally! I was the minority here and I guess my opinion is just not the mainstream one. Absolutely, we did outings locally, playgroups, museums, library, flying kites, riding scooters, walks along the river, play dates, little adventures that we made work around work. I think these are such great learning experiences especially at 4, I have constant questions about new words and new things we come across. The system is very rigid and I guess it won’t change as majority are happy to muddle along cos it’s not “all that bad” I want more for my kids, more time with them, more shared experiences. How is the 1 on 1 with me less engaging than a class with 30 kids?

Coffeepants · 23/09/2021 14:04

Reception has just started so we are settling in to the very long days. Realistically i don’t see us getting many places at 4pm when it will already be dark when they get out of school.

user1497787065 · 23/09/2021 14:09

I'm not sure all areas of the country operate the same admissions policy but here a child starts school in the September prior to their 5th birthday so some almost five and some just four.

I started school in 1970 at the beginning of January with my 5th birthday a week later my DD has a July birthday so started school in September. I think that year makes all the difference.

Are there still intakes of Reception children three times a year anywhere?

MarshaBradyo · 23/09/2021 14:11

@Coffeepants

Reception has just started so we are settling in to the very long days. Realistically i don’t see us getting many places at 4pm when it will already be dark when they get out of school.
Are you doing homework, many clubs? As you said in pp

Maybe take it easy and do free stuff play more instead.

RobinPenguins · 23/09/2021 14:16

Personally I’d just like to be able to do more stuff with them like I did in the last 5 years, quick ice cream or hot chocolate dates, going to museums, the playground, having picnics, taking the tube, etc. we still do all these things but it now has to be condensed into a Saturday/Sunday.

Why? Reception finishes at like 3pm. I do all of those now with DD after nursery except museums (she’s been to all the museums in our city many times and is sick of them Grin), and I don’t pick her up until 4:45/5pm. And it’s not the tube it’s the metro but same thing really.

MarshaBradyo · 23/09/2021 14:17

majority are happy to muddle along

Tbh it’s this I find a misconception, based on something probably not that open minded.

toomuchlaundry · 23/09/2021 14:17

@Coffeepants but if you want more time with your kids why do after school activities/clubs?

Original poster
sandcastles1 · 23/09/2021 14:17

@MarshaBradyo

Op you can be dumbfounded all you like.

But if the minority want change seek it out.

There are alternatives available.

I don’t want dc to have less of school they enjoy it.

I'm sure they do - would they enjoy a little more time at home? Have you asked them if they'd prefer to go to school on a Weds afternoon or stay at home and bake a cake or go climb up a hill and see a view they've never seen? Would you enjoy doing that and seeing them a little more?
OP posts:
Coffeepants · 23/09/2021 14:23

I’m am doing none, my comment was general. We do stop at the playground after school, take a walk, build puzzles, bake, cook, read. But the few hours between 3:30 and 7:30 are not enough to fit in a museum or anything that’s not pretty local to you, when you factor in traffic, peak time on trains and making sure kids are fed and bathed so they can get to bed early enough.

MarshaBradyo · 23/09/2021 14:23

Op they genuinely love it. I have three different ages.

The youngest bounds in so happy to see friends. Picked up at 3.15 to do stuff.

The middle is yr 7 and definitely prefers all the co curricular he had picked up at new school. 100s of things to choose from. I feel like he’s in his element stretched academically and physically etc
Loves it

Eldest prefers to cook, gym or friends

But yes I’ve been around a lot and have done many new hills! And made many cakes. After the pandemic the idea of taking what they like (school) away again is what worries me. I saw so many posts talking about reduction - they don’t need that.

Coffeepants · 23/09/2021 14:23

I’m not, I’m saying that because of the system there is no time to do it all

Parker231 · 23/09/2021 14:24

Mine did breakfast and after school club from starting reception and we used holiday clubs. All were excellent with both organised activities and time to do nothing but have a sandwich whilst watching a film with a friend. The holiday clubs we used covered different interests for different ages so DT’s have done sports, music, science and theatre performance- they loved them.

DH and I took all our holidays when DT’s were off school and we all visited family in US, Canada and Belgium together with holidays around the world. DT’s are now 22 and appreciate the education and opportunities their school gave them.
I would have not wanted a different educational system for them.

RobinPenguins · 23/09/2021 14:24

@Coffeepants

I’m am doing none, my comment was general. We do stop at the playground after school, take a walk, build puzzles, bake, cook, read. But the few hours between 3:30 and 7:30 are not enough to fit in a museum or anything that’s not pretty local to you, when you factor in traffic, peak time on trains and making sure kids are fed and bathed so they can get to bed early enough.
But how many days a week would you go to a museum anyway?
Coffeepants · 23/09/2021 14:25

Not open minded because you reject it as not being mainstream? Most people on here have replied their kids are happy in school, they wish not for school hours to be shortened and some have gone so far as to say the system is okay, many kids have it worse.

How is that not muddling along?

Coffeepants · 23/09/2021 14:27

Appreciate your perspective but between the wrap around care and holiday clubs, I would feel like I see even less of them. Not worth it for me.

MarshaBradyo · 23/09/2021 14:28

@Coffeepants

Not open minded because you reject it as not being mainstream? Most people on here have replied their kids are happy in school, they wish not for school hours to be shortened and some have gone so far as to say the system is okay, many kids have it worse.

How is that not muddling along?

Not open minded as it’s not crossing some people’s minds that dc are different and ready to be challenged, and learn early at school at the age it is.
Coffeepants · 23/09/2021 14:28

The museum is one of many examples. Prior to school on an average week we did the library, the park, half a day out somewhere we had not been before, swimming lessons and tennis lessons.

Coffeepants · 23/09/2021 14:29

Have I said my or anyone else children are not ready to learn or be challenged? I am questioning the rigid learning system which to me is much more narrow than the range of experiences they would be offered if not in school for 6+ hours a day

MarshaBradyo · 23/09/2021 14:31

@Coffeepants

Have I said my or anyone else children are not ready to learn or be challenged? I am questioning the rigid learning system which to me is much more narrow than the range of experiences they would be offered if not in school for 6+ hours a day
Yes and you can use alternatives

I’d like to keep it as it is. It is not muddling along imo.

Coffeepants · 23/09/2021 14:31

Where do go you after 5pm that isn’t closing or not available to do because it is dark before 4 in winter? Genuinely curious.

Coffeepants · 23/09/2021 14:33

I have said many times I am looking into alternatives. Just because it works for you accept the status quo, does not mean there is no better option.

My question or opinion is not directed at any specific person. Maybe my perspective is different, everyone has their own circumstances but it’s very dismissive to shut down anything that doesn’t agree with your thinking.

santabetterwashhishands · 23/09/2021 14:34

I see lots of unhappy 3/4 year olds been dragged around shopping centres being bawled at by slummy parents who find them a chore. So not everyone thinks school starts too young but I would have loved to have been able to have my kids start a year later .

MarshaBradyo · 23/09/2021 14:35

I’m more reacting to some of your posts which imply others are more not doing it as well / and are fine with just muddling along.

I don’t accept that POV, no.

RobinPenguins · 23/09/2021 14:36

@Coffeepants

The museum is one of many examples. Prior to school on an average week we did the library, the park, half a day out somewhere we had not been before, swimming lessons and tennis lessons.
I suppose I just disagree that you can’t do those things while your child is in school from say 9-3. Library on the way home one day, park on the way home another, swimming lesson after school or on weekend morning, tennis lesson after school or on weekend morning, half day trip out on a weekend afternoon. I’m obviously missing the point, I just don’t agree that primary school hours for KS1 are “too long”. Perhaps there are other steps you could take in your life to give you more time with your child, since you can’t change school hours (unless you home school, obviously everyone has the right to do that). Move closer to amenities like museums, change method of getting to school to involve e.g. the Tube, move nearer a playground, choose a school which doesn’t give reception children homework etc.

My 3 year old is awake from 6am to 7pm. That’s 13 hours. If I deduct 6 for a primary school day, there are still 7 - more than half - remaining. Yes we will have things to do in that time, but not the whole of it. Loads of time to walk up a hill and look at a view or make some biscuits. I prefer to do “big” trips eg a half/full day out at weekends anyway so we can all go as a family.