Stigma related to summer born deferral

[BlusteryShowers]

I am considering deferring my July born son to start Reception a year later. I wasn't going to but missing preschool due to covid and wider reading has made me question this again. He's currently 3yo.

I wanted to hear from those who have sent their summer born to Reception after age 5 and whether you think it was the right decision.

*- Have you or your child come across any stigma from other families about them being in the "wrong" year?

• My son has always been 98th centile for height. Does your child seem noticeably older than their peers? Has this caused any issues?

• Is/was your child bored by the extra year at preschool?

• Did you discuss this with your preschool provider and was their assessment of your child's readiness helpful?*

Thanks in advance for any replies.

I meant to add; I would also be really interested to hear from EYFS teachers with a view on this. Thank you.

There might not be many people who have years of experience of this to reflect on, as requesting deferral for summer borns was rare until a few years ago.

Some people may see you deferring your child as what Americans call ‘red shirting’ i.e. you are trying to advance the prospects of your child by making him one of the oldest, which will mean also the youngest children in his class become the youngest with a bigger age gap with your son joining their class which is to their detriment. So things may feel uncomfortable for you if other parents twig this, particularly if you have no obvious reason for doing it e.g. marked speech delay etc....As a parent I’d feel this ‘red shirting’ is unfair on the youngest children. Some parents may feel resentful of you doing this, particularly if they are ‘socially minded’ and feel the summer born children from the most disadvantaged families might not be as likely to defer as the middle classes, thus widening gaps in attainment.

More practically parents may express upset if your big, ‘older than his year group’ child hurts their child in playground shenanigans as they may perceive it being worse due to his size. Hopefully he will play in sports teams (if he’s into that one day) with his correct year group to avoid wide age ranges of children playing together.

It’s a difficult one. My friend did it for her August baby but there was less than a fortnight difference and he had a significant speech delay - they moved him from a general nursery to the preschool/EYFS in a private school and had speech therapy etc for him so there was a definite plan in place and rationale for doing so. He’s currently a year ahead of my child despite being nearly 2 years older (I also have a summer born boy). He’s going into y3 now and plays nicely with my child but I think I’m starting to see the difference in their ages become very obvious (which is not unusual at this stage in their lives). Of course, the children don’t necessarily realise that one is 6 and the other 8, and there are some issues with him being bigger and older (we have mixed year classes at school so they were in the same class for a while, hence the relevance). On the whole he’s a sweet kid and delaying his start was almost certainly in his best interests.

Conversely, another friend has a child born 6 weeks prematurely on August 31st. She entered school as per her birth age and is thriving. It is hard to see that it would have benefited her being held in preschool for another year (also attends a fee paying school so there wasn’t the financial incentive to get to school ASAP). So they’re all very different, with different needs.

Regarding the months out of nursery issue - that’s a widespread thing across the whole education sector, so I probably wouldn’t factor that into my decision. Whole cohorts have the same issue and the teachers will be addressing this. (I would consider this an issue if the absence from EYFS had been related to eg illness and he was the only one).

I sent my own children ‘on time’ partly because I feel that there has to be a cut off somewhere. We are preoccupied in this country with the plight of the summer born boy - but my boss is a July baby and incredibly successful. It doesn’t have to follow that they are doomed. My older child has ASD, and we have known for 6 months. Really the manifestation is mostly at home and sometimes in the playground, I think we would have done the same for him even if we had known, because he’s academically able and motivated, and knowing means that we would have been able to work with school differently during reception.

Like a PP said, if we do too much moving people to another year group, eventually we disadvantage some other children because they are now 15 months younger than the eldest kids in the class, or we end up moving the school year entirely until April.

There has to be a line though doesn’t there.
I generally feel unless there are other issues at play, it’s detrimental to children. Often they get rejigged at another point, be that straight to year one; straight to year eight or so on.
They also miss out on the free education for the third year of college, which can be detrimental if they want to do an access, foundation or vocational course.

Additionally they often aren’t allowed to do school sports games with peers and so on.

It can be really tricky.

Post on the 'Flexible School Admissions for Summer Borns' group on Facebook. You'll get responses from more people who've actually done it.

Everyone I know who has done this has had some SEN not just been born july/aug. Everyone else will be in the same situation with covid so I would send with his peers unless you think he has some SEN yet to be diagnosed. If he is meeting all milestones he will be fine. He will stand out in year below if he is 98th centile for height.

You get up to 14 years free education in the UK, which gives you one year's grace, is you have an illness or a disaster in your secondary years. You can spend 1 year retaking GCSEs, then move on to Al levels. Or if you make the wrong decision for A levels then you can restart your year 12 one year later.

Its seems crazy to squander that 1 year at the other end of your education by delaying entry to reception year, for no reason. You will be severely limiting your child's choices as a teen.

There is no disadvantage to being summer born after primary school, and very little after infants.

I deferred my daughter who is about to go into Year 2. She has no SEN. She was born two weeks before the cut off so it's not noticeable really - there are other children much taller than her. I haven't ever had any negative reactions and I'm open about having deferred her.
She's never been bored and loved her last year at pre-school - she really developed her confidence and settling her at school was a breeze.
Take a look at the summer born Facebook group and you'll find lots of similar examples.

I'm in Scotland so my July born son is one of the oldest. However children born in January and February are the youngest and have the right to defer- they would start school when they are 4 in August and not turn 5 until Jan/ feb the next year. Im not sure about English system but in Scotland I would definitely defer and spend another year at nursery especially in this current situation. It is not unusual and nothing negative thought about it in Scotland.

In our school there have only been a few deferrals and most are for specific reasons (Sen, children who have been in care etc). There is one june-born child in my ds3's year who was deferred at a different school then moved, and there is a fair bit of chatter - he's fine but the strong perception is that his parents are the pushy middle-class stereotype, like your son he's very tall, academically ahead and quite bossy. There are a lot of July and August kids in the class, which is what I think fuels the resentment.

However ultimately you have to do the right thing for your child. I have 4dcs, my ds1 and ds2 are summer born and both are doing well, ds2 in particular is very academic and would not have enjoyed waiting another year at preschool. DS3 (who is January born) is actually the one who could have benefited from being back a year as he's got a condition that makes him extremely small for his age, but is doing ok too. The key is that reception is very play-based so it does give them a chance to catch up before more formal schooling starts in year 1.

I'm not sure whether too can view this without being a member but this file details the substantial evidence that summer born children are disadvantaged, and that the disadvantage remains throughout their school life.

https://lookaside.fbsbx.com/file/supporting%2520studies%2520list%2520of%2520evidence.docx?token=AWywFnIM9p7fKyfxEUtcWSRokqJLOrXMvthg3hDO3-MrA41pNEjA3UIVIWsAhFfEmJlY4cina-KAfby4lMId7eJXR5Ln5n7koFHlyacYwFXE3cWoGXN8Nr4muLFfS3QQ0eqpFOILZlVeqH0Wvf-R3HM2wQp7zsMRnNRXZgZshUaRpv0n9AAuJ7lu3HjlxUgv0F96vPywnkEebkuXX_KXlu

I would assume you are doing it to create an advantage for your child. Sorry. Without any other issues I think this is an ill thought out policy that just ends up impacting another child (just not yours, so that’s ok).

There has to be a line.

All it does it stretch the year group from a spread of 12 months to a spread of 16 months. I don’t understand why you’d want to do that except for the most severe of circumstances.

@HarrassedMumof3

I'm not sure whether too can view this without being a member but this file details the substantial evidence that summer born children are disadvantaged, and that the disadvantage remains throughout their school life.

[[https://lookaside.fbsbx.com/file/supporting%2520studies%2520list%2520of%2520evidence.docx?token=AWywFnIM9p7fKyfxEUtcWSRokqJLOrXMvthg3hDO3-MrA41pNEjA3UIVIWsAhFfEmJlY4cina-KAfby4lMId7e]]JXR5Ln5n7koFHlyacYwFXE3cWoGXN8Nr4muLFfS3QQ0eqpFOILZlVeqH0Wvf-R3HM2wQp7zsMRnNRXZgZshUaRpv0n9AAuJ7lu3HjlxUgv0F96vPywnkEebkuXX_KXlu

Its nonsense. The only significant difference is in sport, no other school subject

We're deferring DS this year. He turns 4 at the end of August. He's very immature and still has at least one toilet accident a day. A secondary reason is that due to our work commitments he would have to go straight in to full time school and before and after school wrap around care. He's just not ready to cope with that schedule and both the school and the nursery agree wholeheartedly that deferral is best for him.

Also, I'm Australian and have a more relaxed view of it all - growing up it was very normal for children to defer starring Kindergarten and even to repeat a year (at primary or secondary) if they were behind. Repeating is unheard of here where it's a matter of course at home. So, we don't have any hang ups at all about it. Do what you think is best for your child.

Two things first I'd want to be very certain I was going to get a place at the school I wanted as I've heard lots of people are deferring so there will be more pressure on places (so I'd want to be high up on the admission list)

Secondly and you would need to check this, I don't think he would be allowed to compete in secondary school in his school year sports. The sport I organise through school extra curricular needs a D.O.B. If say a year 8 competition they would have to be 13years or under on the 31st August. He would be 14 and then our insurance would not cover him. This would also be unfair on the participants as your son at 14 would be playing against children who were still 12. I think this would be true for any competitive sport.
Also some tests are standardized so birth month is taken into account. Being outside the normal range will surely be detrimental to his score as he will be penalized for being older but won't have had the extra time in school.
If there are special needs then I think it's a great idea (and we can get sport governing body dispensation with medical evidence) but otherwise not.

I’d quietly roll my eyes. I’m late August born myself and the three people who were top of our year through to sixth form had one July and two August birthdays. I think it’s nonsense, really, on the academic side anyway. I can see that greater physical size might give an advantage in sport.

Just asked my teens and they said they'd assume that 'was kept back' ie not that it was chosen but that he couldn't cope in the year he should be, they go to a tough school and think it would be something that was picked up on.

My July born son was 6 weeks early so if had been late would have been in the next school year. He has no special needs. He has coped. I have always felt that he has suffered being the youngest and perhaps if he had delayed a year his GCSEs would have been slightly better. However the benefits are that he has celebrated his 18th birthday with his peers who are also celebrating their 18ths. We are waiting for his A level results and he is intending to join the RAF. He acts more mature than his peers. Ultimately there has to be a cut off and if all July and August babies slip a year then the cut off becomes June. Ultimately my son has been disadvantaged but not enough to wish he had dropped a year. Also if he does poorly in his A levels he can resist them as he still has a year in hand.

How would anyone know? If a child told me they were 5 I would assume September birthday. It's none of their business. I think it's sensible tbh. Summer born babies get on average 14% lower GCSEs than September born children.
I would definitely talk to his preschool and the school you're applying to.
As for the poster thinking it will somehow disadvantage younger children I don't buy that. What a load of crap.

I sent my own children ‘on time’ partly because I feel that there has to be a cut off somewhere. We are preoccupied in this country with the plight of the summer born boy

I agree with this. My son's birthday is in early August, so when he started school he was only just turned 4.

While he was (and still is!) tall for his age, he couldn't hold a pen properly for his first term, but that soon sorted itself out

In terms of emotional maturity, there has really been no difference. If anything, he has always seemed more mature than others in his year.

Anyway. He's just completed Y6 with flying colours and is more than ready for the next step into senior school.

Just because you have a summer-born, don't immediately assume they're disadvantaged before they start.

I'm an EYFS leader. This year we have had a couple of deferrals, both with SEN. We decided, with the parents, to put one in Year 1'as they have all missed so much reception and she had done 2 years at a very good Nursery. She has such profound SEN that she will need a different curriculum for her whole school career so she will be getting that whichever class she is in. She will prob go to special school, either for secondary or before.

The other one also has SEN but medical. He is August born and is going to Reception although he is year 1 age.

My advice would be to find out what your LA's policy is in how to defer, and at what point your child would be asked to rejoin their chronological age. In our LA they usually go straight from Y5 to Y7. Some start directly in Year 1, this can work if they have been at a good Nursery, if they have been at home or in a rubbish Nursery it's very hard for them as they children are much further ahead in terms of being settled at school as well as (usually) academically.

How would anyone know?

Because DC talk about their birthdays/ages ALL THE TIME and have you heard of children's birthday parties? You know, the things with hats and cakes and fun activities? Yes those, well they are also a way of advertising how old your DC is.

There are several DC in my dyslexic, spring-born DS's school year who were held back and put in his class. It annoys the hell out of me, because not only is he disadvantaged by his age and LD, he also has five DC who shouldn't even be in his class who are all older/ more mature/ advanced than he is. I never say this, of course, and I would hold him back, but then I'm doing to other DC exactly what I hate about this policy of allowing parents to randomly hold their DC back. I understand that for a tiny minority it may be necessary, but it's become a thing that pushy parents do to give their DC a leg up and that's what I hate about it.

Just looked at activity mine would have been doing this summer for a group similar to scouting. It was funded for those who were 16 or under on 31.08.20. I know the date they have chosen is arbitrary but so many groups use school cut offs. I think there will be lots of examples like this, those deferred children are only just about to join senior school.

I think the benefits parents think about are for primary, but they are not little for long.

I'm in Scotland. The cut-offs are different in that the very youngest children starting school here next week will have been 4 since 29th February at the very latest. But the whole system is different.

Anyway, it is a right here to defer automatically children born in Jan/Feb for an additional year so they start at 5 and a half rather than 4 and a half. Children born Nov/Dec are sometimes deferred too, but it's less common.

A lot of the objections about deferral raised aren't an issue. So in next week's intake you have children who will be 5 any time between December 2019 and February 2021 - so what? It's really not a problem. Children are grouped in class according to ability for reading/number work, not by age. Sometimes the oldest children are the biggest/tallest, often they're not and certainly not in DS's class where the tallest child is the youngest.

It's not perceived as getting your child an advantage over classmates, it's just something parents recognise as being better for their kids. School's not a competition so how would having a slightly older child in a class have a negative impact on other kids? It's not seen as being kept back, or that it means there is something wrong with the child at all.

Deferral in Scotland is such a normal thing, it's been going on for decades, some people choose to defer their children, others don't. It's really not a big deal and parents make the right choices for their kids.

England's attitudes will catch up eventually as more people take the option and other parents see that it's just not something worth criticising them for or even commenting on.