Stigma related to summer born deferral

[BlusteryShowers]

I am considering deferring my July born son to start Reception a year later. I wasn't going to but missing preschool due to covid and wider reading has made me question this again. He's currently 3yo.

I wanted to hear from those who have sent their summer born to Reception after age 5 and whether you think it was the right decision.

*- Have you or your child come across any stigma from other families about them being in the "wrong" year?

• My son has always been 98th centile for height. Does your child seem noticeably older than their peers? Has this caused any issues?

• Is/was your child bored by the extra year at preschool?

• Did you discuss this with your preschool provider and was their assessment of your child's readiness helpful?*

Thanks in advance for any replies.

I seriously considered deferring my June born DD, at a few months past 4 she seemed to young to go to school, but when I considered the down sides I decided to send her.

I don't know if it was the right thing or not tbh, although she wasn't unhappy she did struggle to make friends for the first year or so.

However she's 16 now, and is expecting good GCSE results, has a group of very good friends and seems perfectly fine, so I'm not sure it made that much difference in the long term.

Do think about the disadvantages, they cannot play for their school sports team with kids in their class (cut off is always 31 August) or in community they will be in a different grouping. They may have to skip a year if the secondary school won't accommodate or you move. They may resent you at 16 when they still have another year of school and can quit legally without taking exams if they want to go to college/apprenticeship.

I'm an August birthday, didnt do me any harm and no preschool back then.

It's pretty normal in Scotland, and I've never encountered much negativity about it. They don't call it deferring anymore, or holding them back, it is now officially framed in the positive language of "an advantage year". By the time the children are 16/17/18yrs the older ones are the most popular - because they pass their driving tests first, and can legally buy alcohol. lol.

Our cut-off is at End-February though, so it's not "summer-born" children that are the youngest, but winter born.

I'm absolutely astonished that there are parents in England who actually resent deferred children in their dc's classes shock It's school, not some kind of race, with education as a limited resource to fight over.

Actually this isn't quite true. A lot of our education system & achievements are in reality based on where within a cohort you sit, not your raw score. Eg with GCSEs and Alevels, the grade boundaries are adjusted to ensure relatively consistent proportions of pupils getting top grades. Theres some allowance for grade inflation because it suits the government to show "improvement" in standards.

At the end of the day there are a finite number of university places/jobs etc, and to an extent in any year recruiters are looking not only for specific skills or qualifications but also the "best in class" or top slice of a cohort.

So actually it kind of can matter where you sit in a cohort. However thinking that age in year will have a huge impact is usually misguided. Bright August born kids tend to rise within cohort anyway, a friend deferred her july born child who is academically less able and he fell behind the cohort he went into within 2-3 years anyway, although he probably found reception easier.

I think it's a good idea. With hindsight, I'd have done this for my summer born. Their primary school put summer born children in for only half a day for the first two terms. It was enough for them - they were shattered and both slept all afternoon every afternoon. But socially, it was disastrous. The other kids had play dates after school, and the more fun aspect of school - crafting, music, story time etc all happened in the afternoons. I know a few summer borns who struggled to fit in with the friendship groups. Being worse at sport hugely exacerbates this too. No one wants you on their team if you are small and clumsy.

Academically, both my summer borns caught up in the end, but one struggled for years and it knocked his confidence a lot.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland
But statistically the cohort is led by Sept and ends with the Aug. So if it does matter where you are.