Low aspiration parents at primary school: what to do?

[Marina2021]

We live outside London but within commutable distance (due to house prices). When we bought here, it seemed a pleasant enough area - nothing spectacular about it but not rough or down at heel (although it is close to a deprived area). We now have children, the eldest in year 1 and the younger one about to start school. Up to now I've been reasonably satisfied, the eldest is bright and is learning well and I'm on friendly terms with two or three of the other parents, who are pleasant and kind.
Lock down has shown us a different face of the school however. Firstly the school has done virtually nothing to support us. By this I mean sending out twinkl sheets on the first day of term (that are supposed to last for weeks and are basically all the same type of activity). These are not marked and students are not asked to send any work in. Last week for the first time they introduced ten minute sessions on zoom during which they ask the students what they've been doing in a very general way. We've had to create our own resources and buy books and subscribe to different online educational services to create a curriculum. But what is really alarming is that the other parents all seem to think this is fine. When I raised the point that the school should be doing more, and that the three other schools in the area are doing much more according to friends (offering daily lesson plans, marking the work, daily emails) I got shouted down and told children should be able to enjoy their childhoods by doing such things as baking, walking in the woods and wrestling in mud. The last really made me laugh - I'm not against any of those things but is this really a serious replacement for losing four months of school? Actually when you think about it these attitudes are quite scary. Some of the parents are actually boasting about how their children are doing no work at all, saying things like 'my child has not done a worksheet since the first week of lockdown and she's happy'. We want our children to learn and to take school seriously. But what impact is having people around them that don't take education seriously going to have as they get older? They are really going to be the odd ones out and I'm concerned that they will begin to think a careless attitude to learning is fine, when this really goes against our values. This has begun to worry me. Any advice anyone?

We are both degree educated and in professional jobs. Which we are doing full time with me working out of the home. So the kids fend for themselves in the day and we do some stuff, mostly outdoors, at the weekends. We are not low aspirations, we just can't do formal teaching after dinner on weekdays which is the only time we're not working. Luckily our kids are quite bright so I am sure they will catch up. As will most kids I am sure. Even your precious little darlings...I mean your eldest is only year 1 FGS!

Chill. You are being ridiculous and now all the other parents know and are probably rolling their eyes at you. If you spend all their school years being this uptight you will be a nervous wreck before they leave primary.

Completely with you OP. I find it amazing that people are praising the school when we are getting nothing. I’m doing all the work myself because I think it’s too long for them to go without anything plus it gives structure to the week.

All great to say let the kids have a break but other schools are actually setting work and independents are continuing to teach so we’ll end up with a huge educational gap if this goes on

You must move back OP. There will be no low aspiration parents there.

You really need to calm down like others say. Gosh your kid is in year 1 and not everything can be taught at school. Life skills are much more important. The things you mentioned like baking or wrestling in the mud is what they need right now. The way you are stressing out looks like you might make your children very anxious too. They need a lot of physical activity and encourage them to do that. If they were older you are probably right !

You have a preschooler and a year one, you need to get a grip. Do you realise that in many countries your eldest would have barely started school and would not be reading.

You have a very narrow idea of what education is for a child of that age, OP. And pressuring a child to learn to read, write, add and subtract could seriously misfire when the parent doesn't have the skills of a teacher.

Your neighbours do not sound low aspiration, they sound very much like the parents in my granddaughters' private school.

"close to a deprived area"
"low aspiration parents"

I tried really hard not to make this personal, but I'm so, so fucking sick of this kind of judgement based on socioeconomic factors. It seems to be everywhere.

I am among the poorest in this country. P/T working, disabled, single, previously teenage mum, on benefits.

Some of us are determined that our DC do well. Most of us I'd say.

I fought to get my DD into a better school place, and with help from DS grandmother who is poor herself, he plays violin. I can't help them much with homework, and they have tiny kindles for school work, but I make sure they ask teachers, and monitor their work. In lockdown they've been doing extra work set by me.

If you don't feel the school is doing enough, then there's nothing stopping you from doing more. Curriculum textbooks are available to buy, online learning resources, tutors.

Why imply those pesky 'down at heel' other parents are bringing the school down??!!

It's just judgemental.

You know you can send your year 1 child into school?

Not all primary schools are open, and those that are, aren't necessarily open for all year groups.

Chill. Teach them about music sport art and cooking. Sing read etc they are still babies

I'm annoyed by the parents who boast that they did lots of learning "Jocasta read 500 books" and also by the ones making bloody lockdown memories aka baking cakes and playing computer games.

I'm also annoyed at the school for sending out pieces of stapled learnig that is dull dull dull dull.

I'm basically annoyed by it all. not helpful

I suspect you live near me - local schools told kids to treat this as an extended holiday. Many kids haven’t even read since march (yes, I do know that).
Thing is, these schools are already performing way under national average. The kids are screwed. Come september, they won’t have done anything for almost 6 months. Combined with already being behind before it all started....

I don't think it's that helpful to tell a parent to get a grip for wanting a good education for their child?

Yes in many countries kids start school older but unfortunately the OP doesn't live in one of those countries so her DC will have to progress through the curriculum as it is designed, which starts with kids learning to read and write at 4.

My DCs state school has been great, we have had daily videos for maths, phonics and writing and associated learning tasks. We have been told we don't have to do any of it but to upload what we have done to an app so the teachers can see how the kids are progressing. Why shouldn't we aspire to this?

My DD is only 4, she is a summer born reception child. We have done loads of playing in the garden, grown our own veg, gone on walks and bug hunts, done a lot of building stuff out of boxes and painting and watched a LOT of Disney plus. But I've also been fortunate enough to have the time to teach her phonics and maths so that she meets the end of reception goals because I'm aware she is a full year younger than about a third of the class she will continue through school with and I was already concerned about the apparent leap to year one.

I think a lot of it is parents choice and parents judgement about what is best for their individual child. I also think a lot of the time on here people mock the posters trying to homeschool in order to justify their kids not doing any.

Plus, the “in many countries school starts later” is misleading .
it is called school later. its called kindergarten etc before, and pretty similar to reception.

I feel sorry for your children to be honest. Just calm down and let them enjoy this time.

@eaglejulesk Really?! During this crisis, it's the children of a loving parent who just wants to teach them that you feel sorry for?! Fgs, let's have some perspective. I don't think the OP is planning on chaining her kids to a desk and making then write essays, she's probably looking for some support from qualified teachers to keep up with reading and counting for an hour or two a day?

Im generally with you OP, and would not be happy if this lack of educational support was coming from my school. There has not been enough standardising of the remote learning children should be getting. Why should the kids going to a school half a mile away be getting a daily/weekly plan, and nothing for yours?

And to the point about a lot of other countries not starting formal school until 6/7. In many cases, these kids are still at kinder schools or similar where they are starting some literacy/numeracy work. I think it's often interpreted that kids don't do anything in these countries until 7.

Although not ideal, at least for your Year 1, I would be pulling together some activities each day covering reading, writing and some maths. Bitesize daily lessons is a great resource. Happy for you to DM me if you wanted me to list out the other websites/resources we are being directed to. There is also a long list of resources on the government website which I think I have saved.

I'm not doing much, if any, homeschooling with ds but I'm ensuring he does some reading most days and he is doing duolingo most days, at your kids ages, education does not need to be structured.

Whatever the rights and wrongs about the amount of work the kids are getting it's not unreasonable to consider whether this school and this area are a good fit for your family. It's hard getting by somewhere that you don't fit well and maybe this is a good time to think about this.

OP I understand your concerns about low aspirations and how this might impact your children's motivation later on, particularly at secondary school. I wouldn't worry about it in relation to lockdown particularly. This has been a weird (hopefully one off!) time and your children are young.

It is up to every parent to decide whether or not they teach their children during lockdown. You can only do what you think is right for your child.

I think education does make a difference to a child's ability, so would urge you and anyone else to keep on educating if they can. I realise there are many who, for whatever reason, cannot. As others have said, those from independent schools will be keeping up with their learning.

Just so long as you keep the learning fun and have a good balance of other activities. Including time just to relax and daydream.

When they go back to school, you will probably have children who are ahead of the rest. But you can deal with that problem when you come to it.

Woodpidgeons, I also agree with your post. There are many from less rich backgrounds who really value education. When you come from a background where education was not an automatic right, it can often make you value it more.

I and many of my friends are pretty high achieving, PhDs, 6 figure salaries or close, etc. We're all quite chilled about this period for our age 3-7 bracket kids.

Whilst making organic roast chicken last for 7 meals? Cool!

I'm just giving context to my reply Tell, it's relevant as OP seemed to think if your kids aren't being schooled for hours each day then you're not an aspirational parent and your children will fail at life.

I think given I've got exactly this laissez faire attitude to schooling young children in lockdown then it's very relevant that I'm a high achiever, and my friends with children who are in similar positions have similar views.

And yes I do mainly eat organic chicken, this will be even more important when we're importing faeces riddled chlorinated chicken, so I'm glad I'm already used to the expense etc

And I suppose also relevant context that my older one is a big reader and left to her own devices will read for 4+ hours most days, so she's already doing lots of stuff the school would approve of. I have to wrestle the book away to get her to do exercise and enjoy fresh air, which probably explains my focus on these bits

My DS is 3.5
We read every day (always have) and he tells us stories. Other than that, we write and count and do some work sheets but not regularly, maybe twice a week. But we try and include learning in everything, teach them about plants when we go for walks etc. Learning doesn't have to be sat in front of a Zoom meeting every day.