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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

okayyyyyyy, dd1 has not eaten since midday (apart from a carrot) and has cried since realising that it is school again tomorrow...

115 replies

oliveoil · 23/09/2007 21:10

... so I am thinking tomorrow will be very shit and crap

is the best way to pander and say oooohhhhh no dd1 poor you [cuddle cuddle] or be all brisk and matter of fact and leave her wailing at the door?

she is sensitive and I am a wuss

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

motherinferior · 23/09/2007 21:12

Horrid feeling briskness worth a try, poor you.

Tottie32 · 23/09/2007 21:13

i am dreading taken dd 2 to school tomorrow, as it is first day full time and i am dreading her asking 'am i staying all day'

hope it is ok for you

controlfreaky2 · 23/09/2007 21:13

awww.
i think if poss you want to cultivate air of sympathy (dont tell her she's not reslly sad / upset / enjoying school really etc) with underlying air of total certainty that she will be going tomorrow and that you are confident it will all be ok for her in time..... hard i know.....

Original poster

oliveoil · 23/09/2007 21:14

well normally we can take them in the class but the newsletter said we have to drop them at the door from tomorrow [wobble]

OP posts:

PondusLector · 23/09/2007 21:49

how old is your dd?
if she is quite little you could give her a smiley face from you to keep in her pocket - she can look at it if she feels sad to cheer her up. It's good if you draw a new one every morning.

Original poster

oliveoil · 23/09/2007 21:52

she will be 5 in October

I said I would give her a little letter to put in her pocket and if she felt sad she could look at it but she said no, it would make her more sad and want to come home

off to bed now as she is having nightmares as well and I was up half the night, grrrrrrrreat

will report back all angst ridden tomorrow

OP posts:

lalaa · 23/09/2007 21:54

surely, if your dd is really having a hard time adjusting, the teacher will let you go in? i think i'd demand that, irrespective of what the newsletter says.

AeFondKiss · 23/09/2007 21:56

oliveoil I hope your dd settles soon, I think the teacher should be flexible with the drop off of children who are sensitive/not settling...

ChipButty · 23/09/2007 21:58

I would have a quiet word with the teacher to see if he/she can make any suggestions. Has your DD made friends in her new class? It is a big adjustment for a lot of children and I hope your DD is happier soon. CB xx

imaginaryfriend · 23/09/2007 22:06

OO, our dd's are very similar aren't they? Mine has done ok so far in settling in but always pulls a very sad 'please tell me it's not really happening' kind of face when I drop her off. I hope it gets better for you.

Original poster

oliveoil · 24/09/2007 20:13

well today was hard work but turned out ok

she was unhappy all morning then just sobbed and sobbed at school, she went off with a teaching assistant to take her lunch box to the kitchen and I spoke to her teacher

she was so nice I started crying and she said sbe would sit with her at lunch (dining room major problem as well as playground

they phoned me in the morning to say she was fine, which I thought was lovely

and she came out at 3 with a big smile (and the teacher gave me a thumbs up and mouthed OK)

teacher is going to sit with her all week so they settle in ok, there are a couple who are sad and teary

so hopefully things will get better

OP posts:

scattyspice · 24/09/2007 20:26

What a lovely teacher.

imaginaryfriend · 24/09/2007 21:54

That does sound like a fabulous teacher. Dd's teacher always seems very rushed. Is she in a large class, OO?

nutcracker · 24/09/2007 22:05

Awww her teacher sounds lovely.

Ds has been a bit sad going into school for the last few mornings. His lip starts to wobble and his eyes fill up as I say bye, and then he goes in.

Picked him up today and asked if he'd been ok, and his teacher grinned and said 'he is having you at it you know, he hasn't even reached the end of the corridor before he is grinning, and chatting away to his friends'

Little bugger

Squirdle · 24/09/2007 22:26

Aw, how silly am I welling up at your little ones and their lovely teachers

I am lucky that DS2 is very happy to go to school, but his first full day is looming (next Monday) and I am going to miss him soooo much I'll still have his 2 yr old brother here, but it will be so odd.

With DS1 (now 13) I used to pop a little note in his lunch box. He loved school too though, but it made me feel better knowing that he knew I was thinking about him.

Think I will do something similar with DS2, but with a sticker or something inside his lunchbag every day (DS1 could read when he started school)

Gawd I'm such a wuss, I didn't get sad about him starting mornings, I'm ok with that, I just don't want my little man away from me all day!

I hope your little girl is happier tomorrow Olive. Her teacher sounds wonderful.

Original poster

oliveoil · 25/09/2007 09:22

yes she is a lovely teacher, like I said she was so nice she made me cry (but I am soft)

am waiting to hear from MIL how she went on today (I am at work now)

imaginaryfriend - yes she is like your dd, iirc you had a problem with making friends/parties? Party season is back on again now, I am hoping she will mix now and not stand staring at people again

class of 29 children

squirdle - I put a note in her skirt pocket with a big smiley face and "Mummy loves dd1" and she showed all the teachers so they either think I am barking, obsessed or nice!

OP posts:

Original poster

oliveoil · 25/09/2007 15:47

me again, fretting on

don't worry, I don't want answers just a general moan

MIL phoned, said tears this morning and she was sick AGAIN at dinner time

4th time being sick, I think she is getting so worked up, she makes herself sick (she does this at home)

are there any books I can read about going to school and not throwing up in the dining hall per chance?

or books in general?

she is bookish

OP posts:

haggisaggis · 25/09/2007 15:57

Do they not do a buddy system? Our (very small primary - so that helps!) makes sure the P1s have an older child to look after them at break time and at lunch time for the first couple of weeks. THere are a few older girls who are VERY good at this. dd enjoyed the attention of having a "big one" sitting beside her at lunchtime.

Original poster

oliveoil · 25/09/2007 15:58

atm her teacher has given up her lunch hour to sit with her so I don't see what else they can do tbh

anyhooo, off home now, will check in later

thanks

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marthamoo · 25/09/2007 16:01

Oh bless her, poor little mite. I don't really have any suggestions - the school sounds really good - hope things get better soon.

scattyspice · 25/09/2007 20:27

How's she doing OO?

Original poster

oliveoil · 25/09/2007 20:32

she has gone to sleep ok (for now), said that she was sick at school as her apple juice "went down the wrong way"

she doesn't want to go to school tomorrow but I have said that she has to and asked her to tell me one thing she liked today, she said her teacher (bless) so I said tomorrow try and think of 2 things

I will try and push the positive and not get into any conversations of doom

any tips on books at all anyone, tons listed on Amazon and I have no idea..

OP posts:

imaginaryfriend · 25/09/2007 21:07

OO, have you read The Highly Sensitive Child? It was recommended on here to me and I found it very helpful with my similar dd. I've read a couple of other child development books lately - Christopher Green and that 'how to talk so kids will listen ...' one but they are both very general. The Sensitive Child one had more information on dealing with, well, a sensitive child!

My dd's coping with Reception better than yours so far it seems. But she's, according to the teacher, 'very reserved, keeps herself to herself, draws pictures all day'. In the big playground she stands by the wall watching ("where nobody can knock me over and it's not too noisy") although she seems to cope with the lunch hall ok.

I hope it gets better for you. It's such a worry. hard to put it out of your mind. Does she have some good buddies in her class?

DottyDot · 25/09/2007 21:13

another vote for 'brisk' I think, plus HUGE end of the week rewards. Ds1's going through a really hard transition from reception to year 1 but it's briskness all round and a Kinder egg every friday (he loves making the toys...) at the moment.

Original poster

oliveoil · 26/09/2007 09:35

Cried again this morning but MIL said not as bad as yesterday. Don't know what is worse, taking her in and seeing it or hearing it second hand.

Imaginary - yes, dd1 exactly the same, keeps herself to herself etc

I have the Sensitive Child book (or I did until I lent it to someone on here, Boco I think), very good I agree

I think Aloha linked one once about making friends, was aimed at older children but I am going to investigate that one as she doesn't seem to know how to socialise, she just stands and grins in front of people and then they walk away [sob].

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhh, the stress

I need cake

OP posts:

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