okayyyyyyy, dd1 has not eaten since midday (apart from a carrot) and has cried since realising that it is school again tomorrow...

[oliveoil]

... so I am thinking tomorrow will be very shit and crap

is the best way to pander and say oooohhhhh no dd1 poor you [cuddle cuddle] or be all brisk and matter of fact and leave her wailing at the door?

she is sensitive and I am a wuss

have you seen the Charlie and Lola book about starting school? I am Too Absolutely Small for School, I think. V. cute.

Re making friends: perhaps you could talk through some ideas for connecting with people, and send her off each morning with one strategy to try out?

Hope it all comes right - my heart goes out to you both, I was just like her as a small girl, am so relieved my kids are vigorously sociable.

Charlie and Lola book about starting school
Topsy and Tim go to school
The Berenstain Bears - Go To School (characters on Tiny Pop channel)
Harry and the Dinosaurs go to school
Lucy and Tom go to school (Shirley Hughes)

thanks, will have a mooch on Amazon

This is the one Aloha posted about one (have just found it), - The Unwritten Rules of Friendship, Simple Strategies to Help Your Child Make Friends by Natalie Madorsky Elman & Eileen Kennedy-Moore

x

This is what ds1 was like. She needs a thing. Are they allowed to take small toys in?

DS1 took a car in and that was great and some lovely boy equipped with social skills, said 'let's race it' and they did.

OO you're such a nice mummy.

She reminds me so much of me starting school (stood by the wall scared of getting knocked over). I made a couple of best friends and never looked back.

Can you get to know some mums and invite another girl for tea? (maybe a bit early for that though?)

OO I had a meeting with dd's teacher this afternoon to chat generally about how she's getting on and she said that whenever she's outside (and she has to be encouraged LOTS) she just hangs round the door watching and picking at her fingernails and is massively relieved when she can come back in again! I kind of suspected that would be the case, she gets completely overwhelmed in loud busy places which don't have 'rules' (dd's very keen on rules). She actually sees the playground as 'dangerous', she told me that.

Anyhow in all other ways, apparently, she's doing fine. Not stunningly brilliant (a bit of trouble applying herself to activities - i.e. she wants to sit and draw rabbits, hearts and flowers all day and not things that begin with 'c').

I hope your dd's had a better day.

Second the Charlie and Lola book. It is really sweet.

imaginaryfriend your dd and mine would get on so well, they could stand and pick their nails together whilst stealing sly glances at each other

they are two peas in a pod by the sounds of it (dd1 is scared of the playground too)

well today was slightly better - she was not sick anyway - lots of tears (says she wants a week off, lol) and sooooo tired

I have told her about the C&L book and am under instruction to buy it tomorrow

scatty - she knows half the class anyway from playgroup, but it doesn't help her settle for some reason

x

This thread struck a chord, as my ds started in reception three weeks ago. The first week was fine, then he was sick twice (once in the hall). This was followed by tears when I left him. This week has been getting better (no tears or sickness so far)

He knows most of the class from his pre-school too but I guess the noise, the new rules and regulation, and all the things they have to remember was just all too much.

Hope the sickness and tears stops soon (I tried various approaches from having lunch at about 10.30 (ds did afternoons), to reward stickers and chocolate buttons after school! I'm off to buy sensitive child book.

oo - I wonder which one, if either, would speak first? Or if they'd both eventually just shuffle away.

I'm glad today was better though. You haven't said how your dd's enjoying the activities in Reception? Is she enjoying learning to read / write, doing drawings? My dd gets a lot out of those things and their music class once a week. Despite her reservations socially she's quite a good singer and always joins in with sitting down type activities.

I'm going to get that Charlie and Lola book too.

Dd also knows most of her classmates as they were in Nursery together since a year last January! I sometimes think that if she hasn't made a friend by now she never will ...

Dd's got her birthday 2 weeks today and I'm hoping perhaps inviting some buddies to a party might break some ice. And I'm trying not to entertain the likely possibility that dd will spend her party wrapped round my knees.

Thank goodness there are others like us... I was thinking, as I left DD this morning in the arms of her teacher, shrieking and wailing "just one more cuddle Mummy, just one more kiss" (DD not the teacher) whilst I rushed out for fear she would see me crying(I'm usually quite 'together'), why me?! And why is she the only one like this??

She's been going for 3 weeks now, and this is the first week of staying all day. We are still allowed to take them into the class but I feel that by doing this it is just prolonging the agony, but she won't go in unless I take her.

She loved it initially, and loved her 'buddy' (a year 6 boy who has been great with her) but this week the novelty of it all has worn off and she hates everything about it. She's quite stubborn and doesn't like being told what to do, so rebels. She was the same at her Nursery school, I hoped it was just because she had outgrown it and was ready for School. Ho Hum.

I spoke to her teacher yesterday, she said that they find that the more attention they give her, the worse she gets, so they give her more attention when she is being happy. The big girls molly coddle her when she gets teary so the teachers are trying to discourage them; her buddy uses diversion tatics (very mature!)which works better!

She can be very sociable when she wants to be,and has a few friends there, but it's like she has decided that she wants to be miserable while she's there and won't be happy until she gets home.

Sorry for the long rant.. it was quite cathartic thouogh!

olive is the entire school in together at playtime or do they have a seperate section for the reception children? I can imagine how even that would be too much for a sensitive child. I mean I can hear playtime at DS's school from my bedroom.

What a good school anneyec!

My DS is also finding it tough (I had to peel him off my leg and thrust him at the teacher again this am), he seems to enjoy it once there though. He doesn't know anyone, and has decided he doesn't like anyone though .

entire school at playtime Bozza, dinners are split with Reception, then Y1 then YS (I think)

she cried tons this morning, teacher told MIL that she is fine after about 5 mins and that she joins in with all the activities

which I am pleased about as I envisaged her sat down watching

but she did say she is PETRIFIED of the dining room and becomes unconsolable when it is time for lunch

so her teacher is only there today and tomorrow and then next week she is on her 'own' again

I farkin hate it tbh

got the C&L book, will see if that helps

Thats quite tough haveing the whole school in one playground at the same time (ours are split up).

Would she find it easier to take packed lunch?
I don't think DS school eat packed lunch in same dining room and they are split into groups (so he always sits with the same group).

Surely it will get better.

Poor you olive, how close do you live to the school? Could bringing her home for lunch be an option? It might be frowned upon now but it was very common in my day to go home for lunch if you lived close enough to the school. Back in the dark ages. Could be an option maybe, until she's settled in more.

My dd joins in with all the classroom activities too and like you i was worried she'd just watch.

I think the lunchtime scenario is so difficult because of the 'sensitive child' aspect of our dds. Mine, and yours I suspect, is totally overwhelmed by noise and chaos. At dd's school they have their lunchtime playtime in the playground shared by all from Reception - Year 6 or whatever year it is immediately prior to going to secondary school. All other playtimes she has in the tiny Reception playground. The lunchtime one is the one that freaks her out the most but she doesn't even like going in the Reception one.

Is there anybody you can speak to to get her exempt from the big playground? Or to set her up with a quieter place to eat?

I'm surprised they are bunging the reception kids in the playground and dining hall with everyone else; did I read that right? At ds' school the reception kids spent the first weeks only playing in the little tiny area immediately outside their classroom, then they gradually got them used to the bigger playground....

Are packed lunches an option where she wouldn't have to go to the dining hall? Can they not eat a packed lunch in their classroom? This has been a lifesaver for ds, who would not cope with a dining hall environment.

the school could be doing a bit more to tailor the environment to the reception kids IMO. Her teacher does sound a treasure, though

If OO's school is anything like mine then there is a small Reception playground for most of the day but after lunch they have to go into the big playground. I spoke to dd's teacher about this and she said that they don't have staff to watch them in the Reception playground at lunchtime plus they want to prepare them a little for Year 1 when they'll spend all their playtimes out there. Gulp.

Dd says that the teacher takes them into the big hall after they've lined up, then someone in the hall seats them, then I think they're more or less left to their own devices. Very scary. I don't like to think about it much.

Can they not take packed lunches? I feel for them, the dining hall can be scary when you're in reception! Ds stays in his classroom to eat his lunch and that I'm much happier with...

Just been reading through this thread and sighing with relief ..... I am not alone in getting really stressed about my DD hating reception and she is not the only one in tears every morning for the last two weeks (the first week were just half days!)
Her first words every morning are "I don't want to go to school, I want to stay at home with you "
She hates lunchtime (she takes sandwiches)
They start lunch fifteen minutes before the rest of the school, but of course it takes them ages to eat their sandwiches. She can't stand the noise when the other children join them and absolutely hates having to go in the "big" playground or worse .. the playing field.
I'm assured by the teacher that she settles down as soon as she's in the classroom .... she has called me a couple of times to let me know (v happy about that) but I just hate leaving her in tears and am watching the clock all morning and wondering how she is coping with lunch at 11.45.
DH tells me to calm down and stop stessing, she will settle in in her own time. To further complicate situation she is going to have a baby sister in December (big surprise and bad timing!)which she appears to still be looking forward to.

Hi Loubyloo, welcome to the Sensitive Daughter Club!

OO, hope your dd does better this week and it's easier for you.

Hi IF
Today was better than expected but then she had something exciting to tell her teacher ... we went to the Disney ice show yesterday and she took her programme in with her.
I hope this hasn't set a precedent and it means I have to think of something interesting every morning now....

That sounds promising though looby! Does your dd have many friends in her class? Does she enjoy the classwork etc?

Reading your earllier post I couldn't help but have a small 'grrrr' to myself at your dp telling you to stop worrying. Honestly, when I think about how small they are and how sensitive and vulnerable they are and how protective we've had to be as mothers up til now it's really hardly surprising that we get stressed! In fact it amazes me how we all manage to hand over our kids and stay sane all day. I spend all day trying not to think about all the things that might be happening to dd and focus on looking forward to seeing her later.