Anyone NOT ALLOWED to escort there recpetion children (aged 4) who have been there less than 3 weeks to the class room then?

[NannyL]

OMG I am seething....

my 4 year old charge has recently started reception in a TINY private school. (It 'is' a house, not even a particularly big house, just a 4 bed detached house on a street with loads of other hosues that are similar)

Anyway the children hang the coats in the 'hallway'. Given that it was a house the hallway is not that massive, but that is where ALL the children in the school hang their coats / sort out their book bags, and remove snack box and reading folder, and then take off hat and put in their bag before hanging coat / balzer and book bag on peg and carrying snack box and reading folder into class room.

My 4 year old has been there for 3 weeks now.... Today i went in as usual (with the phil and teds buggy with my 2 year old strapped-in in). I made my 4 year old take off his coat HIMSELF, (and find the hook and hang it up on the peg) and take off his hat himself, and pass his hat to me to hold while he took his snack box and reading folder out of his bag himself , and then passed him back his hat so he could put it in his bag and hang the bag on the peg

(he was going on a play date today so also had another bag of home clothes)

The miserable old bag teacher then said to me "Now he's in reception dont you think he should be doing it himself" I said yes, he HAS done it himself (He is only just learning to undo his stiff blazer buttons and cause its a new blazer sometimes genuinely CANT do it, though i always make him try)

She said "No, i dont think YOU need to come IN here now, i think next week you should wait at the door and watch him do it"

I couldnt belive my ears.... he has only been there 3 weeks, he NEEDS me at the moment...

also he is the only boy on his class (7 children 6 girls and a boy) so mb wants me to have close contact with the teacher at the moment, because tbh he may wellbe changing schools (anoterh issue altogether)

Anyway i ALWAYS then walk through with him to the class room and say hi to the teacher, see what they are doing today, then we have a hug and kiss good bye etc and i go back out and collect the buggy from the hall and off i go.

Are any other schools expecting the 4 year olds who have been there just 2.5 weeks to go in by themselves, completely sort them selves out and then go in?

(In the other schools that my old charges have gone to it has been completely normal for mums etc to help hang up the coats / bags etc them settle the child into the classroom for the WHOLE of reception, with it being discourged in years 1, and then not allowed after the 1st half term of year 1 (when mums were still allowed in cloakroom, just not actually IN the classrom)

I told my mb who said that on Monday the same teacher had said the same to her.
She also said please ignore her and take him in as usual!

(I will)

This is the same teacher who last year when my charge was in the nursary (a 'building' in the 'back garden') and i left my then one year old in the cloackroom asked me "if i would mind leaving him alone in the buggy in the 'new shelter type thing'?" built for leaving buggies and bikes and car seats in duting the day! (The i told her actually i DID mind as i refused to leave my 1 year old in a 'bus stop with a door completely unsupervised, and that also he would cry his eyes out and hate it... and I continued 'parking' him in the buggy in the hall way as usual)

Woudl love to know if anyother recption chidlren are supposed to be going in COMPLETELY alone yet!

Yes. We wait with them in a little covered area in the reception playground. They line up and their teacher comes out to lead them in. There have been no tears or fuss amongst any of the kids in DS's group (15 kids) after the first day.

Didn't do it like that with DD and DS#1 and I ended up with DS in meltdown everytime I finally had to leave him - he'd have been better with short and sharp goodbye and no time to get upset. It lasted 2.5 years . And there was always a scrum of parents in the tiny cloakroom, all trying to put their DC's things away.

nooka - each to their own.

But we choose the school for many many reasons, not for the uniform. Although I do love uniforms for school and IMO DD looks very smart in heres, and she has a lot of pride already in wearing her uniform and in her school. The clothes do not cause any problems whatsoever and certainly don't hamper their play, and definitely not their individuality.

For us talking to the teacher is the start of the day not after school (although that is possible if you want). Every school has different approaches. No one way is right!

DD is very independent and confident - a strict uniform and me being allowed in the classroom in a morning hasn't thwarted that!!!

nooka - if you choose a school just on the basis of what the kids have to wear then

DS wear a polo shirt and sweatshirt with a blazer over the top - never wears the blazer during the day, just for going to and from school. His friend, who goes to a state school, wears a shirt and tie already. I am much happier with ds's polo shirt, sweatshirt and blazer than I would be with a shirt and tie at the moment. Please don't start using clothes as another stick to beat those of us who choose private schools with.

I used to teach reception. The school I worked in had what I thought was a really good policy - doors to the classroom opened at 8.45 but school didnt officially start till 9.00am. So there was a 15 min slot where parents could drop kids off, they almost all used to come in and help with coats/snacks/signing in, and some would stay and read a story or play with the children for a bit.

This 15 minute "window" avoided the inevitable mayhem that occurs when 30 odd kids are all trying to hang up coats at the same time, and also meant that parents could have a work with me if need be. Yes, of course I was busy, but tbh I valued this time - it meant that relationships/communication with parents was good, and helped to create a friendly atmosphere.

Of course parents were discouraged from coming in in Years 1 and 2, but as there was still that 15 minute settling in period, a parent could come in and have a word with the teacher if need be.

Oops, I meant word with me, not work!

I wish our school banned parents from the classroom TBH. My dd has started reception and the drop off is mayhem with all those parents milling around.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/1373/392056?stamp=070920233610 - we have that type of time gap too. Classroom open from 8am (actually a bit earlier for those on breakfast club). You can leave the child in the playground alone at 8:15am when there will be a member of staff present. School starts at 8:30am, by which time children need to be in the playground ready to line up.

No mad crush - it is a small school anyway. But still plenty of time for that ph so important communication and contact with school should you need it. As I said before I really like the fact that we have that daily direct contact with school and DD's class teachers. We as parents there never feel like we can't approachthe teacher or talk with them, even if just a quick hello or for a longer chat about worries/concerns.

The Apprentice - we have that type of time gap too. Classroom open from 8am (actually a bit earlier for those on breakfast club). You can leave the child in the playground alone at 8:15am when there will be a member of staff present. School starts at 8:30am, by which time children need to be in the playground ready to line up.

No mad crush - it is a small school anyway. But still plenty of time for that ph so important communication and contact with school should you need it. As I said before I really like the fact that we have that daily direct contact with school and DD's class teachers. We as parents there never feel like we can't approachthe teacher or talk with them, even if just a quick hello or for a longer chat about worries/concerns.

hulababy, just looked at your pics. Your dd is gorgeous! And your name makes sense now!

Ds has been left in the hallway at nursery when he started at 2.5. I would love to go in there but parents are not allowed. My friends little girl has joined reception and she told me that she was quite surprised that parents aren't allowed in the school building at drop off time so I think it is pretty normal. I can also remember starting my first day at infants 30 years ago and my mum giving me a kiss at the school gates, parents were not even allowed in the playground back then.

not read the whole thread, but dd goes into reception on her own - I only go in if there's something I NEED to tell the teacher - in fact that was 2 days running this week - Wednesday she was VERY tired and weepy, so I just told her teacher, yesterday she had a nose bleed brewing, so again I tipped them off. Usually she just goes in, hangs her stuff up and is off!

I would worry about a child in a class of 7 tbh - 30 is often too many, but I think less than 15 or so must be very limiting in terms of a peer group.

Message withdrawn

TheApprentice - my name was chosen by another MNetter (had a boring own name one before) because of that photo

In terms of communicating with the teacher - you can do that after school when she has more time. If there is some practical matter you need to raise in the morning, the TA waits outside the classroom whilst the teachers leads the children in.

OrmIrian - but surely that depends on the individual school and how they work things? As I said before what works for one schoolmay not work for another. Some nights a week at DD's school the teachers have staff meetings, and they are also clearing away and geting ready for the next day. At our school the teachers encourage parents tocome and chat ot them in a morning. It works for our school. After school not as convienent.

We were allowed into the classroom for the first 3 mornings, and then from the next week they all had to line up outside, which makes perfect sense to me.

Of course. Every school is different.

Our school has a similar system to Hula's and theApprentice's schools, but carries on until the end of KS1. The school introduced it as a way of encouraging parents to become more involved with the school and their own child's education. It's been very successful.

We were allowed to escort them in on the first morning to help find their pegs, etc. From day 2, we had to say goodbye at the door and let them go in alone. Actually, I have no problem with that. I've always been inclined to 'drop them and run' and pre-school and nursery. I think if they're upset, lingering just makes it worse.

have to say the school DD will go to next year does not allow parents in. The teacher greets them at the door where they wave goodbye.

But the school do loads to prepare them, like a day in the classroom the previous year, and a home visit from the teacher in the summer holiday.

I would feel a bit concious of my actions if I was the only parent going in BTW.

Then again the teacher should have let you do what you were doing for that day and had a word with you not in front of DS for the next morning so you and he would be prepared.

My kids got on the school bus on their very first day and I've never dropped them at school - except once when we slept in.

They were both 5 and a half when they started, so not just turned 4 like some here, and it never bothered me.

I dont think the small size or gender imbalance is a problem as much as the attitude of the teacher. My dd1 spent p1 in a small village school where she was in the gaelic unit and was therefore the only p1 pupil in a class of 8 - all girls, covering the whole spectrum of primary 1-7. There were 5 other p1 pupils in the english medium class.

I work in a private school and all the tiny 5 year olds are still being helped in the morning and we've just finished term 3 (of 4). They have an amazing amount of stuff, stiff blazers, lace up shoes, recorders etc. and endless lockers and hangers all with different rules. They do need help with all this, especially as this all takes place at the crack of dawn. Not really but feels like it to me.

However if it was a polar fleece and velcro shoes I reckon they'd manage on their own.

My daughter is in Reception at a private school and whilst the children are expected to hang up their coats, put away their books, lunchboxes etc on their own, parents are welcomed into the classroom and the teacher is available between 8.30 and 8.55 to chat to parents. I find this time really valuable as it's an opportunity to look at the class's work, play with the children and chat to other parents and the teacher. I also have a child at a state school and I hate the fact that none of this is encouraged as the doors only open when school starts.

My son previously went to a private nursery where parents weren't allowed into the classroom which I hated.

our dd started school last year. The teacher was very generous in letting us enter the class room just for the first week or so to make sure they were settled. Yes they find it awkward with their bags ect but in all honesty its hard for the teachers to get sorted until the huge amount of parents are out the way! It was very disorganised. dd didnt need me, was not worried if I was there or not. Some children that did require more attention due to crying had the suport of their mums but I noticed even when they did stop crying the reluctant mum hovered in the door way hence making things worse if he/she noticed her again. Couple weeks is - I think reasonable as they need to get into their own teachers routine.