Anyone NOT ALLOWED to escort there recpetion children (aged 4) who have been there less than 3 weeks to the class room then?

[NannyL]

OMG I am seething....

my 4 year old charge has recently started reception in a TINY private school. (It 'is' a house, not even a particularly big house, just a 4 bed detached house on a street with loads of other hosues that are similar)

Anyway the children hang the coats in the 'hallway'. Given that it was a house the hallway is not that massive, but that is where ALL the children in the school hang their coats / sort out their book bags, and remove snack box and reading folder, and then take off hat and put in their bag before hanging coat / balzer and book bag on peg and carrying snack box and reading folder into class room.

My 4 year old has been there for 3 weeks now.... Today i went in as usual (with the phil and teds buggy with my 2 year old strapped-in in). I made my 4 year old take off his coat HIMSELF, (and find the hook and hang it up on the peg) and take off his hat himself, and pass his hat to me to hold while he took his snack box and reading folder out of his bag himself , and then passed him back his hat so he could put it in his bag and hang the bag on the peg

(he was going on a play date today so also had another bag of home clothes)

The miserable old bag teacher then said to me "Now he's in reception dont you think he should be doing it himself" I said yes, he HAS done it himself (He is only just learning to undo his stiff blazer buttons and cause its a new blazer sometimes genuinely CANT do it, though i always make him try)

She said "No, i dont think YOU need to come IN here now, i think next week you should wait at the door and watch him do it"

I couldnt belive my ears.... he has only been there 3 weeks, he NEEDS me at the moment...

also he is the only boy on his class (7 children 6 girls and a boy) so mb wants me to have close contact with the teacher at the moment, because tbh he may wellbe changing schools (anoterh issue altogether)

Anyway i ALWAYS then walk through with him to the class room and say hi to the teacher, see what they are doing today, then we have a hug and kiss good bye etc and i go back out and collect the buggy from the hall and off i go.

Are any other schools expecting the 4 year olds who have been there just 2.5 weeks to go in by themselves, completely sort them selves out and then go in?

(In the other schools that my old charges have gone to it has been completely normal for mums etc to help hang up the coats / bags etc them settle the child into the classroom for the WHOLE of reception, with it being discourged in years 1, and then not allowed after the 1st half term of year 1 (when mums were still allowed in cloakroom, just not actually IN the classrom)

I told my mb who said that on Monday the same teacher had said the same to her.
She also said please ignore her and take him in as usual!

(I will)

This is the same teacher who last year when my charge was in the nursary (a 'building' in the 'back garden') and i left my then one year old in the cloackroom asked me "if i would mind leaving him alone in the buggy in the 'new shelter type thing'?" built for leaving buggies and bikes and car seats in duting the day! (The i told her actually i DID mind as i refused to leave my 1 year old in a 'bus stop with a door completely unsupervised, and that also he would cry his eyes out and hate it... and I continued 'parking' him in the buggy in the hall way as usual)

Woudl love to know if anyother recption chidlren are supposed to be going in COMPLETELY alone yet!

oh I'm intrigued now .. why are his arms not long enough DG?

I like it as it means I have daily contact with the teacher - that communication that many threads on MN complain they don't get.

I also get to see the displays of work - every day there is a selection of the girl's books on the cabinets outside the classroom, showing you what they have down and how well they are doing.

There is also a white board with information for parents on, updated every so often.

There is the list for after school club for you to write your child's name on - in cloakroom.

There is the 3 week's menu on should you wish to know what meals your child is having.

Ph, and the list of dates when the school shop is open.

So can be very useful to go inside.

yes i dont fuss his at all

i hold his cap while he opens his bag and removes 2 things, which he then has to hold while he puts his hat back into the bag and does the bag up, and hangs it on the peg!

he then carrys his 2 things into his classroom... once he has walked TO his classroom, HE outs them in their relevant boxes

Today i had to go in to tell is teacher that he was being collected by someone else (a friend who does NOT go to the school, mum)

twigelet... he will be moved... probably after half term when another school is found

he is not babied! (but oh he would LOVE to be )

Galaxy

You can find a tame parent who won't mind being the Mummy/Daddy substitute for those few minutes. I did it for lots of parents in RAC and I did not mind.

I think the most critical point of this is the way the teacher seems to think its appropriate for nannyL to watch him struggle! Fair enough no mums allowed in, but to insist you watch him from the door is just evil. She could at least say, dont worry ill help him, he`ll be fine. A little reassurance. She sounds like a right old fashioned school marm type.
My dd2 lines up in the playground and goes in by herself. Because that is the norm, she accepts it and goes off quite happy. There is a TA who is lovely to help them with coats and bags (poor woman), and the teacher is dashing everywhere. They discourage parents to linger or ask any questions in the mornings and to wait until after school. So if i do ever have an important question i just phone later and let the receptionist sort it out.

Twiglett, I don't know, they just aren't. He topples over in his attempt to reach his bottom.

At the moment, he only stays until 12:30, comes home and almost straightaway needs the loo and my help, which is fine, but next week he is in school all day.....

I can picture the scene, can't you?

I went to a prep school and in the morning parents went into the cloakroom to assist in hanging up coats, bags etc but once the child was through the door, parents left and certainly didn't go in to the classrooms unless it was to have a word with the teacher. At the end of the school day, parents waited outside in the front garden until their children appeared, having had help if required to get all their belongings.

If the blazer buttons are a problem, stop just outside the school door and undo them for him. He will never learn or be as independent as the others if it's always done for him.

It sounds very normal to me.

dd's reception class lined up from day one and were taken in by teacher/assistants

Heated - that is the same as our end of day. We went outside the front door and DD will come out, once teacher has seen me, in hat and coat ready to leave.

Our chance to speak with teachers is more in the morning than after school. We can see fater school too, but I do get the impression that he teachers prefer the mornings and that is why thy are more accessible.

we just wait by the door after school and they come out

ONLY chance to talk to the teacher right now is in the morning, and rightnow his parents want a daily update, and given he is the only boy i completely understand!

haychee you have got it in one

my dad and dh went to boarding prep schools and wee on their own sans Mama from age 7!

My dd1 goes to a small village state school. In reception parents were expected to see their dcs into their classroom, and wait until their dcs put away their lunch boxes etc. The teacher or TA was on hand if you needed a chat. For yrs 1 and 2 we see them into their classroom, we can stay whilst they put away their things and there are two TAs on hand in case of queries etc - once things are dropped they go up to the playground on their own and line up once the bell goes.

I think this may in part be because of the layout of the school, but I know it is popular with parents. My dd1 is fiercely independent and it doesn't restrict her being self-sufficient in any way.

OTOH I can remember being eight or nine and being petrified of having to walk into the 'big' playground every morning by myself - I was okay with the 'little' one.

sorry, WERE on their own

my 5 yr old dd is pestering me for an £80 blazer, because her perfectly decent, smart, warm, washable and waterproof school coat isn't cool. The cool girl in the class, who is allowed to wear socks with frills, and has her ears pierced, and turned up on her first day of school in Barbie shoes with 2" heels has a blazer. I now have another reason to give in to her demands .

NannyL
Does your mb know about the teachers sharpness? And or the recent, slightly distressing, comments?

ooh, and she was only allowed to be accompanied into the class on day 1 of P1. She's in P2 now, and wants me to drop her at the gate, and not come into the playground.....

yesni have told my mb about the TONE of this teacher

She is the same teacher who last year suggested that i leave my 1 year odl abby charge in the buggy outside on the driveway COMPLETELY unsupervsied by himself (drive way next to pavement, and occasional late parenst drive on the drive way) ratehr than have him in the cloak room while we walked to the nursary at opposite end of school

I said no i would not leave a baby unattended in the driveway as 1) i would NOT just leave a baby unattended like that and 2) he would ahte it, be scared and cry and make a huge fuss!

No other teachers had a problem with watching the buggy being parked in the cloakroom for 5 mins while we went through to the nursary

not to give in to her demands, obv

Are my poor children the only ones who had to walk miles on their own to the classroom, hang up their own coat, find space on the trolley on their lunchbag, take their book bags in to the classroom and put in the right place WITHOUT ANY HELP FROM AN ADULT?

So advanced, my children....

I can't understand why any parent would chose to send their four year old to a school which makes them wear such completely unsuitable clothes. Even if I had loads of money I wouldn't have sent my two to private school for this very reason. It is so incredibly unchild centred IMO - as far as I can see it's entirely about making the children look like "sweet mini adults". Although what adult wears a blazer? Poloshirts and sweatshirts are the way to go for primary school uniform, and all the state schools in my area have them. I really hope that by the time ds and dd get to secondary school we are living somewhere that doesn't have uniforms with ties and blazers. I have never worn a tie since I left school, and as for the hats!

Oh, and like most other people my children gathered in the (small and exclusive to reception) playground until they lined up and went in with the teacher. Didn't cause any anxiety as far as I remember. Talking to the teacher was reserved until after school.

I'll just add that the school doesnt even have a playground as such, and the small outdoor spcae you have to get to after having walked through the school, and hence got rid of bags / hats etc

Cannot believe that so many of you have to leave your children in the playground etc and are seemingly not allowed in the classroom. I take DS into his classroom - we choose a book for bedtime to borrow and he then settles into the book corner. I make a swift exit (out by 9am). Personally I'd have a problem if I wasn't allowed inside - it's good to see DS settled and happy when I leave. I can't see that it causes any problems in DS's school. The school day still starts on time.

We are actively encouraged to come into the classrooms with our Dcs. School starts at 07:30 and for the first 20 minutes the children can chose "early bird" activites that have been set up on various tables and we are invited to stay and do the activites with the children if we want to.