Daughter's teacher called her a numpty

[Ottermum23]

Hi all,
We have a lovely little daughter, in year3.
She is a very enthusiastic learner, who always loved school and loves academic challenges.
This year, she had a new teacher, who is not the nicest, but nevertheless, We thought, just give her the benefit of a doubt.
Our girl been contstantly saying, that the teacher shouts, and today, she said, she called her a numpty, as she accidentally started to do her writing on someone else's book.

I find this very frustrating and just would like to hear others opinions.
Thank you.

User - I run groups for bereaved children. I would genuinely be intetested in what you're saying here. Do you have any links to academic articles on the use of language and its effectiveness/limitations in behaviour mamagement?

Appalling typos sorry.

One man's numpty is another man's twat.

Really? Does it have a different meaning in some regions?

Round here - Sheffield - it is a very gentle teasing type word. Said in the way you might call someone doing something a bit daft a 'silly sausage' or 'daft apeth.' Some people might say 'muppet' in a similar way perhaps.

I have NEVER heard it said in an aggressive or unpleasant way. Certainly not on a level with words like 'twat.' Not in the slightest.

Twat is in the same category as cunt round here where as numpty is like silly sausage and very gentle. I've lived in Bucks, Surrey, London.

My kids would not respect or trust a teacher who didn't tell them when they made a mistake. The person whose book was written in may also have benefitted from the incident been acknowledged by the teacher in this light hearted way so that they know not to be angry. Some kids are hard on themselves when they make a mistake and benefit from an adult demonstrating that it's no big deal and to move on.

User- you mention that your degree is from a Dutch University. Are you from the UK or educated in the UK system?

Thank you for this great discussion, all of you! It certainly gave me a lot to think about.
I would have never imagined that so many people have so many great ideas, and in-depth views on this rather numpty topic.

I still think though, that name calling is inappropriate, and as some you said unprofessional.

*some of you

rainingcatsanddog
Whereas where I grew up you could 'twat someone one' (smack them) or someone could be a bit of a twat (like a dickhead but more harmless. Think half way between idiot and dickhead).

User No I have not but then do you really think it is necessary?

I speak to all the children with respect and we have a 'mistakes are okay' atmosphere in the classroom. If a child makes a mistake then I simply say, "you silly sausage," with a smile and they always without fail laugh and smile too. It's a way of saying you made a silly mistake, but it's fine and let's have a laugh and fix it.

I'm not perfect either and if I happen to make a mistake the children enjoy pointing it out and we all have a good laugh about it.

Only today I was moddelling how to do short division to a small group of chidren and I accidentally wrote the digit 9 as part of a number instead of a 6 as I was also looking at the next question to be coached. I would much rather the children feel confident enough to point that out and we all have a good laugh than them being sat there as stiff as rulers too scared to even say anything.

@user1499173618 you are currently mpeltelt and utterly bonkers - loads to say and none of it with any substance. "All fart and nae shite" as my grandpa used to say....and a GF to boot.

currently mpeltelt ??? Wtf? That should have been 'completely'. Autocorrect is a numpty....

@user I too would be very interested in seeing your research sources. A cursory glance at my usual sources haven't found anything. My search parameters may be a little wide so I'd welcome a steer

Jamieson - same. Sometimes I make deliberate mistakes with things like adding, or spelling so that the children can point them out.

Not only does it give children who don't usually speak up the confidence to point out that something is wrong, it models how to be when you make a mistake. I'm able to say something like, "Oh, silly Mrs * - I have* spelled beautiful wrong! Ha ha never mind. How should I spell it?"

The children can see that everyone is human, everyone makes mistakes, that it's not a big deal, that there's no need to self-deprecate or feel worried and, it offers a chance for learning as they can then tell me how to spell the word and I can secretly assess learning without them realising and getting worked up over it.

Of course, according to Userblahblah that's unprofessional

OP do at least consider the pros/cons of your tiger mum approach and try some resilience building strategies, even if you think we are all numpties

All fart and nae shite

I am fully using this tomorrow! Love it.

Numpty (and twat for that matter) are words that I would associate with jokey "silly billy" type comments.
I only found people regarded "twat" as bad when I moved area.

My ds wrote in his end of year 2 card "I love Mrs X because she calls me a Silly Sausage".

@Namechangeforthiscancershit I love it too and use it whenever I can. I also like the more douce "all hat and nae cowboy" 😃

Haireverywhere. Thanks, I will do.

You are being a tad precious over your daughter and she will not learn to tell the difference between chiding and serious bullying if you expect that she will never get told off. Children do do very silly things and telling them so is not putting them down. Yes, your daughter may not have done it on purpose but she is year three now and will be expected to be more purposeful and aware of her actions and consequences. I've had to tell off a child who came into the medical room who hurt his back, when asked how did it happen, replied that he had climbed the school fence and slipped. When advised, that wasn't very clever, i bet you won't do that again, He replied that he would...This is numpty behaviour in extremis. Your daughter had a short lived episode...she is not terminally a numpty.

'Long term risks to gaining control quickly'

Today, a colleague had a two year 10 boys messing around at the back of the classroom- she turned around after helping someone and saw one with a stress ball and the other with a chair ready to use it as a tennis racket.

How awful for the children it is when teachers try to regain control quickly!

How awful for the children it is when teachers try to regain control quickly!

In that situation there really was only one course of action. Firstly, the teacher should have calmly and fuĺl of awkward smiles walked over to the students and then apologetically said 'excuse me... the thing is that it's not appropriate to use a stress ball and chair to play tennis. That's really quite dangerous because someone might get hurt. I'm sure you don't realise & dont meant it only it's also a little disruptive and is stopping other people learn... so I would be ever so grateful if you could please get on with your work'.
As for the rest of the class, they'll have to wait and their GCSEs on hold as speaking to 2 misbehaving students could ruin their mental health and life forever.

OP - I'm not sure you are what I understand to be a Tiger Mother.

I thought the phrased was coined by Amy Chua. - if you're into "harsh" parenting then I guess you might want all teachers to be very formal with your child.

Still waiting for all that research...

AvoidingMarking I know a boy who was permanently brain damaged (completely unable to live an independent life) due to a ‘game’ involving chairs and rolled up bits of paper as balls at school. The chair leg penetrated his brain through his temple. God forbid a teacher would want to gain control of her class quickly in that sort of scenario!

LynetteScavo
I thought that. Well, I thought it came from a book about a mum in Asia who was into a firm approach to schooling, no nonsense etc. (And that's why Michaela School's book was called the Tiger Teachers).
But then I assumed I'd missed another use for it.