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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

School want to know too much

349 replies

Balinahome · 10/11/2017 15:50

My daughter started school this September (she’s just 5) and I had to request a days ansence due to an appointment I had which I’ve known about from before she started school. The reason stated on the request form was ‘for personal reasons I will not be able to collect my daughter from school’ As I wouldn’t be around to collect her from school and I had nobody else available to collect her so she had to go to my MIL for care until I returned from the appointment.
I received the form back from the headteacher which stated that the School cannot authorise avoidable absences which I am very irritated about as they have no knowledge of why I couldn’t collect her therefore how could they possibly know it was avoidable? I found the comment to be obtuse especially given that she is not yet of compulsory school age. I’ve sent the head a strongly worded (but not rude) email in response stating that my personal life has nothing to do with School AIBU?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Wolfiefan · 10/11/2017 21:08

But why should the child miss a day of school if the parent has an appointment? It doesn't make sense.

Catlovingmama · 10/11/2017 21:11

Why not? If childcare isn't easy to come by and child doesn't legally have to be in school?

If child had been illl the day would have been missed anyway. It really doesn't matter at the level of a one day absence

Wolfiefan · 10/11/2017 21:20

But the child isn't ill.
Childcare may not be easy but it certainly isn't impossible. The OP has known about this appointment for weeks but suddenly the child has to have the whole day off.

MissFlashpants · 10/11/2017 21:21

I have a child the same age and it honestly wouldn’t cross my mind to keep him off school for that reason.

Once your MIL couldn’t get a bus, or a taxi to your house?

You sound like you’re spoiling for a fight to be honest. And you may not want to make friends but your child will...

PippleBang · 10/11/2017 21:27

If OP is a high enough earner to pay 40% tax, I struggle to believe she doesn't have access to any other childcare.

Seems like a goady fucker to me.

Catlovingmama · 10/11/2017 21:29

We pay for private ed but all family are miles away. I have really struggled in the past to get help with this kind of stuff.

Bowerbird5 · 10/11/2017 21:32

Don't lie next time the kids always tell us!

All you had to do was say that you had a very important appointment( medical?) and you were unable to get anyone else to pick DC up. It happens we are aware that single parents struggle at times. Unfortunately there are procedures to follow, forms to be filled in. Years ago common sense would prevail now it isn't always possible.
Reception children do quite a lot in a day actually.
Don't worry about it just try not to do it regularly.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 10/11/2017 21:41

Agreeing part time flexi schooling is not the same as attendance. If the Op has agreed a timetable for part time attendance with the school and she was off school on one of the days agreed that would be one thing. But she isn't talking about flexi schooling. She has a child enrolled in school full time and is taking a day off.

In that case, the school have to report attendance in the same way, using the same register codes as for children of statutory school age. The only thing that can't happen is the LA issue a fine.

bangingmyheadoffabrickwall · 10/11/2017 21:44

My DS's school do not unauthorise absence when a child is not of legal, compulsory age which is the TERM AFTER they are five.
My DS had a day off for a mini break. That absence was authorised. In fact, I KNOW that on a school register, (SIMS) the 'x' is given for absence that is for a child who is not of compulsory school age.

OP - Seriously do not worry about this. It seems your daughter attends a school that has an office/SLT who take their roles as administrators too far and relish the opportunity to hound, frighten, worry parents who do not know that a child who is either 4 or in the term they TURNED 5, is not classed as being of 'compulsory school age'.

In fact my DS's school had a little boy who took a day off every week when his mother had a day off from work because he didn't turn 5 until the summer term so therefore was not of compulsory school age until he began Y1! The mother, simply told school that he was not going to be in on xxxday because they were going to do 'fun stuff' instead! The school didn't have a leg to stand on. (They were also quite happy to go along with this arrangement too). The child still attended school on the other 4 days and it isn't lawful to remove a child from the school register just because they have a day off a week!

Plus, this mother was also a teacher herself! So hardly someone who thought a day off a week for a YR child was damaging to their education!!

bangingmyheadoffabrickwall · 10/11/2017 21:47

I will STRONGLY state that despite a child being on any school register, if they are not of compulsory school age a LA CANNOT AND WILL NOT unauthorise an absence. It will simply be recorded as an 'absence'. Children who are not of compulsory school age DO NOT COUNT towards attendance records. Fact.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 10/11/2017 21:49

So you just chose not to use paid for childcare?

Or do you live so rurally that no such thing exists?

minipie · 10/11/2017 21:59

All you had to do was say that you had a very important appointment( medical) and you were unable to get anyone else to pick DC up.

This.

You don't have to give details of your personal medical appointment but you do need to give enough detail to show the absence is for a decent reason and not for a trip to Alton Towers or because you cba to get up that day. There is a middle ground.

Catlovingmama · 10/11/2017 22:24

You don't need to do that mini, because there is no legal requirement for her dd to be at school on any day.

Catlovingmama · 10/11/2017 22:24

It would be politic, but she doesn't HAVE to

Wolfiefan · 10/11/2017 22:26

Surely we shouldn't be making judgements for our children based on whether it is legal.
Is it best for this child to be in school and learning and with friends or be off school as the OP CBA to make childcare arrangements that enable her to go to school?

Catlovingmama · 10/11/2017 22:29

The law decides what is left to parents and school attendance under compulsory school age is one of those things.

Catlovingmama · 10/11/2017 22:31

I doubt a nice chillled day with granny will have done the dc much harm.

Wolfiefan · 10/11/2017 22:32

So if it's not illegal then it's fine?
A child shouldn't miss a whole day because a parent has an appointment and CBA to arrange childcare.

Catlovingmama · 10/11/2017 22:32

I wouldn't do as op has personally, because I would make an outline explanation for better relationship building. But I wouldn't clutch pearls on it either - it's one day

GingerIvy · 10/11/2017 22:34

I think the problem here is that many are assuming she CBA. She made childcare arrangements - presumably arrangements that she felt were the best she could make in the situation - and those arrangements meant her child missed a day of school.

It's not the end of the world, and if she's had to wait a few months for this appointment, it's clearly not something that happens regularly.

Wolfiefan · 10/11/2017 22:36

Nope. CBA.
This isn't a last minute do the best you can situation. The appointment has been in the diary for ages. Plenty of time to explore alternatives. But the OP hasn't.

GingerIvy · 10/11/2017 22:40

Wow. Judgemental much? Aren't you pleasant....

minipie · 10/11/2017 22:42

No she doesn't have to legally Cat

But she does have to in order to preserve a decent and cooperative relationship with her child's school. Which hopefully she wants to do.

Wolfiefan · 10/11/2017 22:46

Yes I am. Unlike many of the OP's posts.
I prioritise my children and what's best for them. Not what's convenient for me. That's why I won't take them out of school when I get my biopsy results.

GingerIvy · 10/11/2017 22:55

I'd say the OP is prioritising her child as well. She's simply doing it in a different manner than you would.

I've taken my children out of school for similar reasons to the OPs on the rare occasion. I've even taken my children out of school for a holiday. My dd was late to school every day by 30 minutes for two years (with full approval of the school) when she was younger.

Different folks, different strokes, hey.

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