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Original poster

School want to know too much

349 replies

Balinahome · 10/11/2017 15:50

My daughter started school this September (she’s just 5) and I had to request a days ansence due to an appointment I had which I’ve known about from before she started school. The reason stated on the request form was ‘for personal reasons I will not be able to collect my daughter from school’ As I wouldn’t be around to collect her from school and I had nobody else available to collect her so she had to go to my MIL for care until I returned from the appointment.
I received the form back from the headteacher which stated that the School cannot authorise avoidable absences which I am very irritated about as they have no knowledge of why I couldn’t collect her therefore how could they possibly know it was avoidable? I found the comment to be obtuse especially given that she is not yet of compulsory school age. I’ve sent the head a strongly worded (but not rude) email in response stating that my personal life has nothing to do with School AIBU?

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FitBitFanClub · 10/11/2017 18:00

I think you should investigate private schools. I bet you'd fit right in.

PhilODox · 10/11/2017 18:00

I presume her husband is attending the medical appointment with his wife, surely?

ourkidmolly · 10/11/2017 18:01

Do you realise what an idiot you sound? Honestly wise up.

Wolfiefan · 10/11/2017 18:01

Chav?! Grin
I value the education of my children. I endeavour to work with the school to ensure their happiness and success.
I wouldn't drag my kids out of school because I had a prior commitment. Chav or responsible parent?
BTW you are THAT parent. And you don't need to avoid the other parents at the school gate. Not if they see you coming! Grin

PhilODox · 10/11/2017 18:03

Only in a few schools, Fitbit. Most people paying school fees do actually value the education they're forking out for. They wouldn't do it otherwise!

Flowershower · 10/11/2017 18:03

I may be a chav (I'm not) but at least I can spell advice.

On a more serious note, if you have health problems, particularly serious ones, then although it may seem intrusive for the school to know about it they could be a really useful support network for you and your child. If you let them that is.

gingergenius · 10/11/2017 18:04

Perhaps you should homeschool then OP. Confused

mrsreynolds · 10/11/2017 18:05

Oh
You're one of those parents
😂

strugglingtodomybest · 10/11/2017 18:05

I was advised not to post on here for advise as it’s full of the kind of women that I avoid on the play ground, they were right! Most (not all) of you are missing the point so I’ll leave this chav fest. Thank you

No, thank you.

Best flounce I've seen on here for years Grin

mrsreynolds · 10/11/2017 18:06

Chav fest!!??
Awesome

FrancisCrawford · 10/11/2017 18:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anasnake · 10/11/2017 18:10

If you're going to call people chavs then learn to spell 'advice' correctly.

Justgivemesomepeace · 10/11/2017 18:10

Well aren't you a delight? Good luck with the rest of her 11 years at school. You're in for a bumpy ride with an attitude like that.

GingerIvy · 10/11/2017 18:10

Hmmmm... I would expect that as she has avoided mentioning the child's father that he is not available to help for whatever reason. Not ideal for her, but these things happen and it's likely out of her control.

MIL may be happy to watch her grandchild at her house, but not willing to travel to OP's house for whatever reason. Again, when you ask a family member to babysit, it often means you have to compromise in some ways.

I don't think the OP believes education is not important. I think the OP was frustrated because she felt like the school was being nosy (and it sounds like the receptionist was) rather than just taking the information.

Sometimes things happen that we have to just deal with. Sounds like it was that type of situation for the OP.

Hopefully next time she'll have more options at her disposal.

gingergenius · 10/11/2017 18:16

Well that escalated quickly!!!!Grin

viques · 10/11/2017 18:17

They are not saying the child cannot have the day off. They are saying that the absence will not be authorised. Can you see the difference OP?

GingerIvy · 10/11/2017 18:21

Technically speaking, she doesn't need to ask for permission to keep the child off school for the day. She only needs to ask them to authorise it.

I imagine the OP got frustrated and flounced because people jumped all over her stating she needed to move her appointment (when she said she couldn't), she shouldn't bring her child to the appointment (when she said she didn't as MIL was watching child), while telling her to do this and that, despite the fact that if she could have arranged it another way, she likely would have.

Bit of a feeding frenzy there. Hmm

MaggieS41 · 10/11/2017 18:29

Still find it amusing so many people are precious about the odd day off in reception. The country is falling behind in the education ranks internationally and its got nothing to do with a 5 year old taking a day off because their mum can’t arrange a drop off and pick up FFS!!

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/11/2017 18:33

You sound like some of the School mums at my dds School op. They think they’re a cut above the rest because they’ve got a nice house. They make me laugh actually. Because I know full well dh and I have far more money than them and a bigger house.

You know what? I can’t stand the false snobbishness and get on much better with the people, who are genuine. Including those, who live in bigger houses than mine and those, who have very little. Because who you are is far more important than what you have. The women at dds school wouldn’t be friendly with the latter as they aren’t good for their social standing. Biscuit

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/11/2017 18:34

And I’ve never been called a chav either Grin Grin

SoupDragon · 10/11/2017 18:41

I think you should investigate private schools. I bet you'd fit right in

As a parent with children in private schools I find that quite offensive :o

pieceofpurplesky · 10/11/2017 18:43

This has made my night. Feeling really nervous as out with a group of people, some of whom I have not seen for a long time as they ‘sided’ with exh after he left and was screwing one of them . I have spent the last 20 minutes pissing myself at how stuck up the OP is and the chav comment finished me off.
I’ve put on my big chavvy girl pants, painted my eyebrows extra thick and am ready to face those old school mums! Grin
Thanks OP

ptumbi · 10/11/2017 18:43

Dh doesn't get a mention because she's a single parent!

either that or he's a sperm donor.

Or, of course, he's busy being something in the city, and can't take time off to actually be a parent to his child. (I married someone like that too - I'm sooo chavvvy)

FairNotFair · 10/11/2017 18:50

"Chav fest" Grin

xyzandabc · 10/11/2017 19:01

I know you probably won't see this if you've left the thread now but you don't seem to have answered many posters who have said after school club, childminder, child's father, ask the school (we have several TAs who may well be happy to look after a child on an as hoc after school basis)

If you've known about this before she started school, there's been plenty of time to contact any of these. Have you investigated them at all?

Going forward, you not being able to collect your child is really not a good reason to take her out of school for a whole day.
If you have truely exhausted all options, fair enough but I get the impression you've just decided that you or Mil are the only possible people that could collect and therefore she gets a day off. Each to their own but not something I would be happy doing unless there really really was no other option.